Photo by Dennis Steinauer Darrin and I bantered about alcohol, as people often do. We joked about sneaking a flask into an inappropriate venue—not sure I can remember which one, maybe the book sale we’re both working in July. Sarcasm, not seriousness. Guy talk. Tribe talk. Then I fessed up. “I’m nine years sober.” Nine … Continue reading What I Told to Al-Anon
Author: Jeff Cann
The Dobler Effect
Image from Say Anything... used in accordance with fair use laws for academic analysis I got out of the shower, threw on some clothes and found Susan in the kitchen brewing coffee. The question burned a hole down to my soul. “If Lloyd Dobler is so cool, why does he play that lame-ass song on … Continue reading The Dobler Effect
Clatter
Last weekend I bought new hearing aids. Well, I bought them weeks ago, but I had to wait for this past weekend for them to arrive. This is my third pair. I started wearing them eight years ago, and each pair died in exactly four years. Since 2017, I’ve dropped six thousand dollars trying to … Continue reading Clatter
Nessie: The Truth Revealed
Who broke the story? I can’t figure that out, but all the major players reported it: People, USA Today, E! Online, even the New York Post. I read about it first on Newser. Read Less, Know More: that’s their tag line—and everyone’s goal. “Loch Ness Centre Reports 'Captivating' Sighting.” This sighting is the first of … Continue reading Nessie: The Truth Revealed
Lyric
She stood before the room rolling a pink box in her hands. “This box contains two doses in case the first one doesn’t work.” The presenter, unexpectedly named Lyric, oozed compassion, a solemn vibe. Overdosing is serious business. I had this training once before, that guy was a comedian. His unboxing bit went like this: … Continue reading Lyric
Abandoning My Post
As a college graduate in the mid-eighties, I lacked seriousness and substance. My girlfriend’s father at the time called me the ‘party kid’ and ya know what, he nailed it. My knowledge of the world around me ended at my five favorite bands, which six packs I could purchase for under two bucks, and an … Continue reading Abandoning My Post
The Resistance
The Resistance. My friend Regan first brought it to my attention in an email on December 19, a full month before the inauguration. The Resistance. It recalls the scrappy human soldiers in the futuristic clips from the Terminator movie franchise. Nicaragua’s Sandinista freedom fighters in the seventies. My college roommate Tom commandeering the microphone at … Continue reading The Resistance
The Final Word
The night before my carpal tunnel surgery in 2023, I blogged: I’m certain they’re operating on the wrong thing—it’s a combination of wanting it fixed and wanting to say I told you so when it isn’t. The doctor who sent me to neurology dismissed my theories, clearly annoyed that I challenged his diagnosis. “Right, I picked up carpal … Continue reading The Final Word
Double Consciousness
On Saturday, the first day of what, until a week ago, was called Black History Month, my wife, daughter and I visited the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Yes, you know this place, its grand entrance is reached by the Rocky stairs—the staircase that Sylvester Stallone famously sprints at the end of his street-training montage in … Continue reading Double Consciousness
The Winter of my Discontent
Image from The Day the Earth Stood Still (not the Outer Limits) Despite the similarity of titles, this isn’t about Steinbeck’s novel. In fact I’ve never read The Winter of Our Discontent, and I can’t read it now because I'm slogging through the midpoint doldrums of Fairy Tale, a recent Stephen King publication, a six-hundred-page … Continue reading The Winter of my Discontent
Not So Dumb
Image created by and used with permission from Dumb Runner. Jeff Cann: In today’s post, Mark Remy, the creator of the growing internet and print media sensation, Dumb Runner, answers my questions. Mark, in your own words, which are likely to be more entertaining than mine, what is Dumb Runner? Mark Remy: When I launched … Continue reading Not So Dumb
The Known World
Annex Canada, invade Greenland, pillage Panama. Deport our neighbors—our pickers, our laborers, our factory workers, a million Americans, lynchpins of our community, of our economy. Hush money, insurrection, stolen secret documents, sexual assault. Billionaires running our country, the far right ruining the world. Skyrocketing temperatures, exploding debt, morphing viruses: tipping points everywhere you look. (Expensive … Continue reading The Known World
Clown!
I opened Facebook Messenger to this message: You look like a Pedophile. This was the final straw, and fortunately the final message during a hectic twenty-four hours selling my car. Three years ago, when our daughter Sophie moved off the University of Vermont campus, Susan and I realized she needed a car to do those … Continue reading Clown!
Sick, and stuff
01/01/2025 We woke up sick, both of us at the same time, Susan more obvious than me. Her voice scratched out “good morning“ as I tiptoed past her mattress tucked under the ping pong table in the basement. My only detectable symptom was a sore throat, and not really all that sore yet. Where do … Continue reading Sick, and stuff
Adventures in Plumbing
I saw a meme on Facebook the other day: Plumber Rates$150/hour$175/hour if you watch$200/hour if you help$250/hour if you started the job first This was surely one of those creepy cases where my phone eavesdropped on a conversation and tailored content to match my interests. Susan and I talked about plumbers last weekend. Frustrated, with … Continue reading Adventures in Plumbing
Bric-a-brac (Baby Let’s Dance)
We slept past nine. I slapped a Salonpas on my ribs, drank two pots of decaf and propped-up my feet on an ottoman. I watched out the windows, waiting for the snow to start. We got in after one o’clock last night. Susan picked me up at the airport when my plane landed. My three-day … Continue reading Bric-a-brac (Baby Let’s Dance)
Vapor
I’m breaking a promise. My wife Susan suggested I stop spending time reading about Haliey Welch. You’re not sure who that is? Let me remind you. Several months ago, a pair of YouTubers asked a young woman outside a bar "What's one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time?" On a … Continue reading Vapor
Emotive Man
Against the gritty backdrop of Gotham, where evildoers lurk in shadowy alleyways and crime never takes a day off, one caped figure stands slouched, hunched with terrible posture on the tallest rooftops, watching over the city and its populace, feeling all the feels and swallowing all its pain: It’s Emotive Man. Part 1 – The … Continue reading Emotive Man
The Book of Losman
Losman and I are identical. I often felt like I was reading about myself. So much so, that by page seventy-five, I was so agitated I almost stopped reading altogether. This is an excerpt from an email I sent to Kyle Semmel the other day. He’s the author of the book I just finished. Right … Continue reading The Book of Losman
Shouting into an Echo Chamber
When class ended, they fist bumped and stretched their legs and grabbed paper towels to wipe down their bikes. A couple of shouts of “good class,” and “thanks Jeff” and people filed out of the room. As they left, I gave a quick plug for my next class, “I’ll see y’all on Saturday at eight,” … Continue reading Shouting into an Echo Chamber
The Other Stuff 