Trigger Warning: Boring medical stuff. Good news, my heart looks beautiful. Can you believe it? I’m still trying to figure out why I get dizzy all the time. I’ve hit the end of the road, there’s nothing left to check. The MRI showed nothing. The electroencephalogram (EEG), normal. My stress test, perfect. The echocardiogram, essentially … Continue reading Iron Man
Running
Earworms
Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me? Earworms, we all get them. I took a poll, once: Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? Everyone said yes. Well not everyone; I posted this on Facebook. Everyone would be three billion people. I posted it in my Tourette Syndrome group. … Continue reading Earworms
Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Click, Click, Click
Rhythms. Complex, repeating. LOUD. Like that Sonic Youth concert at the 9:30 Club back in 2002. So loud, my head spun—possibly the reason I wear hearing aids today. Music accompanies the patterns. Phantom music, it’s not really there, my brain fills it in behind the noise. “Squeeze ---- ball -- ---- ----- to rock.” “WHAT?” … Continue reading Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Click, Click, Click
Forerunner 35
I threw my watch away two months ago. The band was broken, duct taped, and broken again. I last connected it to my computer in 2014 when I got the error message ‘software no longer compatible.’ I can’t remember when I bought it. Eli, now fifteen, was maybe in kindergarten. The running store where I … Continue reading Forerunner 35
Cliffhanger No. 3
Cliffhanger. Do people know this word? My generation does, and those generations before me. It’s old fashion-y, like nickelodeons and world’s fairs. Nickelodeons—I just stumbled on this word while I looked up the etymology of cliffhanger. The first cinemas were called nickelodeons—back around the turn of the century (the prior one, old fashion-y, remember). People … Continue reading Cliffhanger No. 3
Target
Oops, I ghosted my blog. Last Tuesday, I freaked out. In writing. I ranted about my blood pressure, certain kidney failure and vertigo. I thought I was dying. I was so convincing, both of my brothers texted me the next day to check up on me. I got a dozen blog comments, all saying the … Continue reading Target
When things aren’t right
This happened before, years ago, mornings just like today, a common occurrence. Over-thinking. A bad night’s sleep. Shaky. Hungover. Dry heaving. Brain-fogged. I don’t miss it. At all. I’ve worked myself into a tizzy. Tizzy (noun): a state of nervous excitement or agitation. Nervous excitement sounds fun. I’m in the agitation camp. I’m worried I’m … Continue reading When things aren’t right
O.L.D.
Susan and I walked the neighborhood loop this morning, the short version, just as the world heated up. I planned to go running, something longish—maybe eight miles on the road or seven in the woods. But I didn’t gather my stuff last night before bed, and I didn’t set an alarm for the morning. I … Continue reading O.L.D.
My Game Changer
Sophie shuffles across the kitchen, stepping between fresh fruit, bagels and cans of beans, all waiting to be sanitized from Covid 19. She opens up the dishwasher setting off a domino-cascade of boxes—Golden Grahams, mac and cheese, baking soda. I snort. She rolls her eyes. “You guys could at least put away the shopping before … Continue reading My Game Changer
Cliff-hanger pt. 2
Is there a part one? I don’t know. I wrote a post like this once before, but I can’t remember what I called it. After I write a post, the story continues. At times, I want to fill in the blanks, write about the outcome. Here are a few on my mind today. Man-Crush: Remember … Continue reading Cliff-hanger pt. 2
Dead Woman Hollow
It’s my home away from home, my staycation, my stomping grounds, at least for Memorial Day weekend. Dead Woman Hollow is a narrow, wooded valley sandwiched between two smallish Appalachian mountains in southern Pennsylvania. And as it turns out, for this weekend, it’s my principal destination. Thirty-two years and a couple of weeks ago, two … Continue reading Dead Woman Hollow
Wilderness
Is it an addiction? An escape? This morning started with promise. Overcast but warm. Eli and I planned to mountain bike after lunch. I drank my coffee and ate Golden Grahams. I kicked back on the couch to read the news with an espresso. About that espresso: Susan has harbored a love/hate relationship with … Continue reading Wilderness
My posture is spoiling my livelihood.
Sigh. My posture sucks. Fifty-some years of walking around with my head down, shoulders curled in, has permanently altered my body. At times I want to fix it. Sixteen years ago, shopping at a pharmacy with Susan and Sophie, my life changed. Sophie, under two, walked up the aisles, grabbing pill bottles off the shelf, … Continue reading My posture is spoiling my livelihood.
Me Time
A few years ago, I managed an employee. The YWCA where I worked had a complex daily cash reconciliation process and a bazillion weekly bills. Unable to plow through the work on my own, I hired Ken for twenty hours per week. He made the deposits and kept on top of accounts payable. We were … Continue reading Me Time
GAIA GPS
Is this a product review? I dunno, maybe. It’s a tribute, an ode, accolades, praise. And just like that, I’m a BadAss again. BadAss: Back when my blog was specifically about running, I sought to become a BABWTR (Babywater), a BadAss Back Woods Trail Runner. The sort of dude who can run off into the … Continue reading GAIA GPS
Mindfulness
Debbie wrote about the difficulty of mindfulness. “I’m more inclined to always think about what’s next, what’s tomorrow or the next day.” Mindfulness (noun): a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. Debbie made me … Continue reading Mindfulness
Semi-retirement (AKA Shelter in Place)
♫ It’s the end of the world as we know it… and I feel fit. This morning while working on a spreadsheet, my computer locked up. After much head-scratching and poking about, I rebooted my PC. A few minutes later, it locked up again. And then again. I’m the only one at work this week. … Continue reading Semi-retirement (AKA Shelter in Place)
Social Distance
Spring Break 2020! Wooo! Accountants gone wild! I ran a longish route today. Longish? Long starts at seven miles, at least in my mind. I don’t know where I got that, but I’ve believed it since 1988, when I started running long-runs. Six is a run, seven’s a long-run. Just like that, inarguable. I’d love to … Continue reading Social Distance
Meditate
In the darkest nights of winter, Susan and I jog deserted streets. Channeling Jackson Pollock, our swinging hands gripping flashlights scribble vanishing art across the pavement. In the blackness, there’s nothing to see save two beams as they dance and bounce first behind and then before us. We don’t talk. The patterns in our foot-falls … Continue reading Meditate
Calm, Content, Relaxed
We layer sensibly. Wicking shirts hanging long over nylon tights. Hats and gloves. A gaiter for my neck—frigid air makes me hunch my shoulders, run stiffly. Today, the coldest day this year. But not uncomfortably so—in the twenties, not the teens. We slip into our running shells as we leave the house. Neon, both of … Continue reading Calm, Content, Relaxed
