I have an annoying habit. Actually, I’ve got dozens of annoying habits, but I’m only writing about one of them. If someone says something that reminds me of a song lyric, I sing it. “Aw, that’s cute,” you say. No, it’s not, I’m as tone deaf as a stone. I can’t carry a tune. ♫ … Continue reading The Calm and the Storm
Parenting
Proof of Age
Not my kitchen I couldn’t relax, or lie flat, or breathe. Susan googled heart attacks. We thought she should check, maybe, just in case. We carried the microwave—the new one—into the kitchen. It mounts under the cabinets, above the stove, doubles as an oven hood. It’s not too heavy, maybe fifty pounds, awkward, but manageable … Continue reading Proof of Age
Epiphany
Rud waits at obvious landmarks and forks in the trail. When I catch up, he rides off again, steering his mountain bike over rocks and roots or a log now and then. I follow, but each time, he’s quickly out of sight. I stop worrying about holding him up. I can’t ride any faster, I’m … Continue reading Epiphany
My Fix
I bought M&Ms at lunch today—Peanut M&Ms, my long-time favorite… at least until a couple of years ago. Like all familiar products from my childhood, Mars added options, lots of options. I think the idea is to flood shelf space with M&Ms and leave less room for Reese’s Pieces. Let me introduce you to the … Continue reading My Fix
Best Birthday Ever
After Eli and I finished our ride, we came home and drank a couple of beers. Today is Columbus Day, the annual celebration of the man who ‘discovered’ America. Never mind that the Americas were already populated with people when he got here, and there is clear evidence that northern Europeans were already traveling back … Continue reading Best Birthday Ever
The Emptied Nest
Eli left a couple of hours ago, a sudden invitation. Sophie’s away at college. Unexpectedly the nest emptied tonight. Susan and I are on our own all weekend. No kids, a preview of the near future. This should have happened before. Sophie’s been gone for a year. But during last school year, no overnight outings … Continue reading The Emptied Nest
One in a Thousand
We parked in a field. The cars around us a cross section of what you see on a Pennsylvania highway, but skewed heavy towards pickup trucks. We left our pickup at home. It’s low on gas. Until last year a Sunoco station sat at the entrance to our neighborhood. When we needed gas, an eight-minute … Continue reading One in a Thousand
I Can Ride That
I stress about what I write. Not the topics, but the word count, the frequency, the quality. I lie—I stress about the topics, too. I joined a writers' group on Facebook—Authors with Tourette Syndrome. “Authors.” Stretching? Aspirational? I'm more comfortable with the generic term writer. Author implies output, something published. That's not me, barely. I … Continue reading I Can Ride That
The Dog Days
I see my vacation in the rearview mirror. A fading memory of a not-so-great week. (Eli’s injury, then illness, then an early return home. <<== Link). Susan scoured VRBO looking to rent a place at the beach for a few days as a family consolation prize. Apparently, a popular idea. No one vacationed last summer. … Continue reading The Dog Days
Resilience
Susan and Sophie drove off to pick up carryout. Look at us gamely gutting through our vacation. Resilience. I read a blog post comparing it to a coat hanger. When a coat hanger gets bent out of shape, you can bend it back, Heck, you can untwist it, fish your keys out of a locked … Continue reading Resilience
Postcard from Maine
~ Not Eli ~ Eli crashed hard. I assume. I didn’t see it, he speeded ahead when the terrain got dicey. Or really, I slowed down and he didn’t. I rounded a bend and saw him flat on his back in the middle of the path, his bike in the brush. I could tell he … Continue reading Postcard from Maine
Brood X
The entomologists call them Brood X—the United States' east coast seventeen-year cicadas. The name appeals to me, reminiscent of a late-seventies punk band. Each generation emerges from deep underground, molts, mates, lays eggs and then dies. Their path to sexual maturity extending longer than even humans. Their bizarre life-span leaves them without an obvious predator. … Continue reading Brood X
Jeff and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad (Medical) Day
Do you know this title reference? It's from a kids' book. I don’t know the story: Alexander’s Super Bad Day, etc. I never read it as a kid. By the time the book came out, I was too old for it. And somehow, as a parent with two young children and a serious read-aloud addiction, … Continue reading Jeff and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad (Medical) Day
Sheena
Sheena’s gone; Roz has diabetes; King Tut, cancer. Last week, I wrote about Tommy’s sudden laryngitis. I worried it could be—as cat-laryngitis sometimes is—the onset of a serious illness. Clearly, I worried about the wrong pet. Last night, Susan walked by Sheena’s habitat. “Oh no, Sheena died!” Sheena’s the corn snake we got when Sophie … Continue reading Sheena
Destiny, + or –
Spoiler: Eli and I both tested negative. Predestiny. It isn’t a thing. We all have our beliefs. Some (mine) might be hurtful to others. Many people of faith view the events of life like a movie already in the can. The scenes play out as shot, no deviation from the plan. We, the actors, are … Continue reading Destiny, + or –
Summit
This morning, Susan interrupted my Zoom to give me an update on the day. “…and Eli’s getting together with a friend this afternoon.” Grrr. I wanted us to go bike riding in the woods later on. It said so right on the meeting agenda: 1:30 – go bike riding in your local forest. Over the … Continue reading Summit
Dusting
I woke up to a dusting. It must have snowed for fifteen minutes last night. A transparent white cover on the dirt patch in my backyard, an area we reseeded last fall, too late to grow grass, a project waiting for spring. And a frosting of snow running the length of a fallen tree, a … Continue reading Dusting
Wax On, Wax Off
Do you remember the scene? Scrawny Daniel LaRusso, improbably, is kicking ass. He’s leveraging his three months’ karate training to fight toe to toe with Johnny Lawrence, an athletic kid with years of karate trophies lining his bookcase. Daniel, injured because Johnny cheated (sweep the knee/yes, sensei), balances on one leg, his good leg, arms … Continue reading Wax On, Wax Off
On/Off Button
I wrote about this before, back when this blog was new. My first post here, the last thing I wrote for my book. Hi, I’m Jeff. “Wow, you sure have a lot of problems!” This was my former boss. She spoke with exclamation points. She ticked them off on her fingers: “Vision! Hearing! Tourettes! Face-blindness?” … Continue reading On/Off Button
Routine
It’s a simple mechanism, the garage door lock. A spring-loaded bolt pushed through a slot in a metal rail—the rail the garage door rolls along as it’s opened or closed. It’s like a deadbolt on the front door. Binary, locked/unlocked, no gray area. A lever releases the lock. The bolt springs back, unlocking the door. … Continue reading Routine
The Other Stuff 