A new me

The drinker who doesn’t drink. That’s me. I quit eighteen months ago. No backsliding, no cheating. Once I got through the first few months, it hasn’t really been that bad. I have Tourettes Syndrome. But you’d never know it. My tics are fully in control. Effectively medicated with no obvious side-effects. As an added bonus, … Continue reading A new me

Google

“Hey, I should warn you, Charlene has googly eyes.” “What does that mean?” They pop way out, like on a frog… or a bug.” “Um, thanks for the warning.” At the start of my career, I worked for a Fortune 500 defense contractor called TRW. One company, 30,000 employees. In an effort to maintain a … Continue reading Google

Pornography

Published one year ago this week in my memoir Fragments. My mother's birthday was last week. I totally forgot. Percussive. Dark, haunting, haunted. Repetitive, chromatic – evoking angst, possibly fear. Lyrics shouted from a distance, from the bottom of a ravine. Echoing, urgent. Chanting, mumbling, confusion. Chest tight, stomach in knots. Eight complex songs, each … Continue reading Pornography

Drugs

Monday morning at 7:00AM: I’m sitting down to write. I’ve read the news, stretched my body, done my part in getting my kids on their school bus, and made myself presentable for work. It’s been a productive morning. Over the weekend, I seamlessly traded off between chores, exercise, reading, errands, volunteer work and spending time … Continue reading Drugs

Caffeinated

7:15 on Tuesday morning. Not a specific Tuesday morning, but any Tuesday morning. My laptop’s on my lap, and my coffee is next to me on a coaster. Printed on that coaster is “Hold me closer, Tony Danza.” It’s a gift from a friend who enjoyed my essay “Dewey Finn and the Dunder Chief” in … Continue reading Caffeinated

Beer Running

Email message from Mark: Jeff, are you planning on joining us this week? My reply: Wednesday nights suck. Eli and I do a drum circle. Or: Overbooked. Wednesday is my writers group. Or: Sorry, parenting responsibilities. Susan’s taking a class. Gotta cook for the kids. Or… Not this week, I have a work thing; Or… nope, early morning on Thursday. Sometimes, … Continue reading Beer Running

Dry

Christ, I feel like shit. My teeth hurt. They feel rattled, loose. Like I've been punched in the jaw – more than once. I'm grinding so hard, my tooth-alignment is actually changing. My bite is crooked. My head aches; My neck is stiff; I'm so agitated, it's hard to take a deep breath. A few … Continue reading Dry