I don’t pay attention to fashion. Truthfully, I don’t pay attention to anything—I’m the most unobservant person I know. But I really don’t pay attention to fashion. Clothes, hairstyles, makeup. Ask me about anyone outside of my family and I’ll draw a blank. You say “Kate’s pretty, but she wears too much makeup.” I say … Continue reading Sorry, but now I must dash
Author: Jeff Cann
King Tut likes dystopian
And make sure you say I’ve been at it since January. Funny place to start. Pretty close to the end. Everyone’s writing about the virus. It’s the only game in town. Quarantines, fear, unemployment, death. Deep, personal, life changing topics. Today Sophie got in the game. “I’m supposed to write about how an incident affected … Continue reading King Tut likes dystopian
Poke
Poke. Poke. Poke. Sophie, pissed: Eli, get away from me! Eli, in a sing-songy voice: Eli, get away from me! Poke. Poke. Poke. I have two cats. Roz, she’s eight or nine. Fat, diabetic, mellow. She spends her day sleeping, and when not asleep, sitting. Tommy’s five, a teenager of a cat. Constantly hopping on … Continue reading Poke
Hope
When you talk about it, you need to look for hope. This statement has been in my thoughts all day. Anyone who regularly reads this blog already knows what I’m writing about. I’m only thinking about one thing these days: COVID-19. You probably have a good idea who made the statement, as well. Three and … Continue reading Hope
Semi-retirement (AKA Shelter in Place)
♫ It’s the end of the world as we know it… and I feel fit. This morning while working on a spreadsheet, my computer locked up. After much head-scratching and poking about, I rebooted my PC. A few minutes later, it locked up again. And then again. I’m the only one at work this week. … Continue reading Semi-retirement (AKA Shelter in Place)
Snippets
What did you do today? I came home from work early, a half day. My workplace, a public library, closed on Tuesday. The board dismissed all employees for emergency leave—which is paid, so far. The high school is closed for the rest of the month; my kids are on an extended break, the teachers expect … Continue reading Snippets
Social Distance
Spring Break 2020! Wooo! Accountants gone wild! I ran a longish route today. Longish? Long starts at seven miles, at least in my mind. I don’t know where I got that, but I’ve believed it since 1988, when I started running long-runs. Six is a run, seven’s a long-run. Just like that, inarguable. I’d love to … Continue reading Social Distance
When I was a D!ck
Years ago, when I joined The Writers' Brigade, Gettysburg's only public writers' group, long-time member Keith Johnson put a name to the steady stream of intensely personal prose I churned out. He called it confessional nonfiction. The name fit. Much of what I produced seemed to spring from an uncontrollable desire to come clean. To … Continue reading When I was a D!ck
Small Waves
…and then Buck pounced on the gunman… Is pounce a playful word? I think of a cat springing to catch a mouse or a mole in tall grass; not to eat, maybe catch and release. I don’t mean to use the word playfully, Buck meant to kill. Last night, I watched The Call of the … Continue reading Small Waves
Of vegans and hoarders
I’m part of the problem. Our pantry is full of food: pasta, rice, beans. Our freezer is packed: frozen fruits and vegetables, lots of French fries, some pre-made burgers, pounds of chicken. The snack cabinet, overflowing: cheddar pretzels, corn chips, popcorn, snack mix, potato chips (Utz, Lays, Hanover), granola bars, Clif Bars, fruit gummies. Boxes … Continue reading Of vegans and hoarders
Meditate
In the darkest nights of winter, Susan and I jog deserted streets. Channeling Jackson Pollock, our swinging hands gripping flashlights scribble vanishing art across the pavement. In the blackness, there’s nothing to see save two beams as they dance and bounce first behind and then before us. We don’t talk. The patterns in our foot-falls … Continue reading Meditate
Collapse
In the movies I watch, calamity—an alien attack, an errant meteor, a rampant pandemic—unifies humanity. Nations, once enemies, begin to work together. Political divides evaporate. We become a global team battling a common foe. That’s the prevailing attitude. Let’s work for the common good. Walking out of the theater I bask in a warming glow. … Continue reading Collapse
Unwelcome Attention
Oblivious. Or maybe an open ear, monitoring the room. Yes, probably that, so just an impression of oblivion. I don’t stop myself; I bury my nose in the junction of her neck and shoulder, dry and downy, and inhale the sweet perfume of clean. One eye opens, staring, not at me, but across the room, … Continue reading Unwelcome Attention
Walking a Wobbly Rope
David Sedaris called me an amateur. OK, let’s discuss the obvious: David Sedaris doesn’t know me; Although I have earned money writing, I’d hardly call myself a professional; Really, he only called one of my writing habits ‘amateur.’ Not me personally. Still, it hurt. Who’s David Sedaris? You’re kidding, right? In this gigantic WordPress world … Continue reading Walking a Wobbly Rope
Quarantine
Crap. Now I have it too. For five weeks, I’ve obsessed over the coronavirus. With my browser open to CNN’s COVID-19 Live Updates, every time they posted any new tidbit of information, I got an alert. I watched the charts and stats and calculated death rates, growth rates and recovery rates. I watched a slow-motion … Continue reading Quarantine
Calm, Content, Relaxed
We layer sensibly. Wicking shirts hanging long over nylon tights. Hats and gloves. A gaiter for my neck—frigid air makes me hunch my shoulders, run stiffly. Today, the coldest day this year. But not uncomfortably so—in the twenties, not the teens. We slip into our running shells as we leave the house. Neon, both of … Continue reading Calm, Content, Relaxed
Hello depression, my old friend
I can’t breathe. Well, obviously that isn’t true. I can’t breathe easily. If I don’t keep thinking about it, I hold my breath. Guarded. Awaiting something bad to happen. I just walked home from work. It’s about a mile, a little more. I left work sick. Sick and worried that one of my coworkers would … Continue reading Hello depression, my old friend
Crash. And Burn.
Finally, a run that didn’t suck. In late November, I wrote about CJ’s Resolution Challenge—a timed trail-race a couple hours from home. You run a 1.6 mile loop for three hours. Whoever runs the most loops wins (I didn't win). In late December, I wrote a follow-up post called T Minus Two Weeks talking about … Continue reading Crash. And Burn.
And Again
Back when we still paid for cable, I sat, mid-morning on my carpeted floor, back against the couch, a sandwich and chips by my side, and watched hurricane coverage. As the hurricane made landfall, I couldn’t pull myself away from the Weather Channel. I waited and waited for something, anything to happen. Never mind that … Continue reading And Again
Pandemic, again
We're all gonna die someday Lord; we're all gonna die someday. Mama's on pills, daddy's over the hill, but we're all gonna die someday. --Kasey Chambers Oops. I wasn’t going to do this. Last week, I wrote Pandemic—an upbeat post about my OCD as related to the current news cycle. The Wuhan coronavirus wasn’t freaking … Continue reading Pandemic, again
