Once upon a time, I spent my weekends sick. Sick during the days, but not at night. The nights I spent drunk. My mornings started early. Saturday and Sunday, eight o’clock, nine o’clock. Maybe not early by today’s standards—I’m up at five each day during the week—but eight A.M. is early when you get to … Continue reading My Hungover Weekend
Mental Health
TBI
Back when I was a kid… Head injury was a normal part of being a boy. Bike helmets hadn’t been invented yet, football helmets were still made of leather, and we threw bricks at each other for fun. OK, none of that’s true, bike helmets existed, but I know I never saw one until I … Continue reading TBI
Blogging, Disabilities & Other Stuff
“People are idiots.” That’s my standard response when a blogger writes about being mistreated because of their disability. I use that phrase all the time—with all the disabled bloggers I follow. You might wonder why I read so many blogs about disability. It’s a fair question. It abuts a question that Susan asks me all … Continue reading Blogging, Disabilities & Other Stuff
Fragments, revisited
Free Book ==> Click Here <== Free Book > Jeff Cann has achieved the improbable. He has taken an honest look at himself. The twenty-four stories that comprise this book range from serious and sad to funny and uplifting. And they all include an element of raw, self-analysis. These well-crafted stories each stand on their own, but … Continue reading Fragments, revisited
Anxious, obsessed
At 8:22 this morning, Tommy woke me up. Accustomed to getting fed at 5:00, I applaud his restraint. His method is always the same, he reaches out a paw and tentatively taps the top of my head. In the winter, I sleep with the covers drawn over my ear and nose. Not much left to … Continue reading Anxious, obsessed
What makes me *Me*
Own it! Look on the bright side! Why fight it if you’re not going to win? Why, indeed? I just picked a fight with an Autistic dude. If you’re in the know on Person First Language, you might chastise me. Dude with Autism you’d say. My way assigns a label, takes away his identity. My … Continue reading What makes me *Me*
Shades of Gray
I recently changed jobs. I now work at a library—the finance manager: budgeting, analysis, accounting. My office, with it’s dark-stained wooden doors and frosted transom windows, is massive: 14’ x 14’ x 14’. It’s true, my office ceiling is fourteen feet high. Susan says I suffer from TMF—that’s too much furniture: three desks, five filing … Continue reading Shades of Gray
The Routine
It’s a simple mechanism, the garage door lock. A spring-loaded bolt pushed through a hole in a metal rail—the rail that the garage door rolls along as it's opened or closed. It’s like the deadbolt on the front door. Binary, locked/unlocked, no gray area. There’s a lever to pull to release the lock. The bolt … Continue reading The Routine
BAD ASS is OUT!
My long-awaited eBook is now available. Yes, it’s about running, but it’s also about life. It’s also free. Smashwords $0.00 Amazon $1.27 Download it now! PDF version available on Smashwords for those without an eReader.
Motions of Tourette
Eyes clenched, squeezed like a pair of fists, seconds before a fight. Eyeballs lurch, left then right, pushing ripples behind my bunched-up lids. Rapid eye movements in a dream of pain. Probing for that sandpapery spot—oh, they itch so much. I think no one is watching. Teeth on edge, scraping, my jaw gliding, forward and … Continue reading Motions of Tourette
(Flash) Natural order of things
Me, in his office: defensive, insecure. Him behind his desk: Disapproving, judgmental. “You’ll quit drinking,” he says. Not a suggestion, not a request. A declaration. An intervention. “I’m only here for my meds, my antidepressants.” Medication management, no prescription without a discussion. Power of suggestion? Voodoo? A good read of character? Yes, he was right. … Continue reading (Flash) Natural order of things
Maintenance Mode
I’m in a rut. Those things I do for fun—my hobbies—they aren’t so fun anymore. They used to be, but not recently. Some of my hobbies, it’s been years: no longer enjoyable, but they’re still my hobbies. I haven’t found replacements yet. I haven’t ridden a bicycle this year; I’m a cyclist. It’s what I … Continue reading Maintenance Mode
Educate
Tourette Syndrome (TS or Tourettes) is a neurological disorder characterized by repetitive, stereotyped, involuntary movements and vocalizations called tics. God! This topic again? Can you tolerate another blog post about mental health? About Tourette Syndrome? About oddity? About me? It’s TS Awareness Month, therefore I feel the need to hammer you (again) with messages about … Continue reading Educate
Doubt
Awareness versus self-pity. It can be a fine line. It’s now Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month (May 15 – June 15). Past years, in commemoration of this month, I’ve dredged up one of my old blog essays portraying my struggles with Tourettes, my struggles with tics and my comorbids (those conditions that often accompany Tourettes: which … Continue reading Doubt
Back Burner
Last July, I started a new job. By the end of my second day, I knew I made a mistake. The work didn’t remotely match the tasks we discussed during my two interviews, and my boss, the CEO of the organization, was abusive and demeaning. I became increasingly depressed and by the end of my … Continue reading Back Burner
Marjory Stoneman Douglas
In my rural white farming community, often derided as Trump Country by the media, children walked out of school not to protest gun laws, but in memory of the seventeen Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school students who were killed when a murderer, rampaging through their building with an assault rifle, ended their lives. Our school … Continue reading Marjory Stoneman Douglas
Dear Boss,
Dear Boss, We’ve been working together for five months. I just passed another anniversary. What do you know about me so far? I’ve learned a lot since I started at the agency. Not about accounting; that aspect of the job is more of the same; I’ve been doing this for decades. Not about my coworkers, … Continue reading Dear Boss,
Disease
Disease. I’ve been using this word frequently. Not out loud, but in my head. And always pertaining to myself. Disease: not meaning ill, tainted or disordered. But literally the opposite—the reverse of—ease. Pronounce it dis-ease. [Dis: a Latin prefix meaning “apart,” “asunder,” “away” or having a negative, or reversing force—used freely, especially with these latter … Continue reading Disease
On OCD
We are the new Americana High on legal marijuana Raised on Biggie* and Nirvana We are the new Americana -- Lyrics from New Americana by Halsey August 10, 1995 “Hey Tiffany, I’m really sorry for you that Jerry Garcia+ died.” “Thanks, Jeff. It’s such a shock.” “Yeah, I remember how I felt when Kurt Cobain++ … Continue reading On OCD
Out and about
Today I'm honored to be invited as a guest-blogger on ScottRCyre.com. Scott is an author, a freelance copywriter, and a Christian Pastor. He and I have been friends on WordPress for a couple of years now. Check out my post, An Itch I Gotta Scratch, and check out Scott's blog. -- Jeff
