Careen

Six-year-old me at the top of a hill. Straddling my bike, everything normal except the absence of a chain. “This will be great,” they said. “Without breaks, you’ll go faster.” 1969, a blue Schwinn with a white seat, a twenty-inch job. Still too big for teeny, tiny me. The ubiquitous stingray design that dominated the … Continue reading Careen

Casual

Casual. What a prompt. I could write a book. Attire has been front and center in my thoughts for three weeks. That’s when I started a new job. In fact, I’ve already written about this. Maybe I should just re-post my recent essay Adult. For twenty years, my life has been a study in clothes. Comfortable … Continue reading Casual

Adult

“I have a personal question.” This is Crystal, my coworker—actually, she works for me. Her voice is barely above a whisper. She’s treading on dangerous ground. This is the first conversation we’ve had. “Why is there a bird on your truck?” A couple of years ago, I drilled a pair of holes into my truck-bed … Continue reading Adult

Solo

Working together. Complimenting one another. Picking up the job where another leaves off. This isn’t me. I go it alone. I do it all myself. I’m solitary. Solo. That’s easier to manage. I’m never let down. When I first met my step-sister she was in high school. It was a get-together at my father’s new … Continue reading Solo

I miss…

Intellectual bathroom graffiti: I F*@KED YOUR MOTHER! Directly beneath this gem, in a different pen, a different hand: GO HOME DAD, YOU”RE DRUNK! I’d like to stop right there. A flash-post. Call it done. Flash what? Not fiction. This one is real. On the bathroom wall of the Tune Inn, circa 1986. Every time I … Continue reading I miss…

Gratitude

“Don’t let your attitude affect your gratitude!” That’s me talking. “Dad! Shut up! You sound like a stupid kids’ TV show.” This is Eli, he’s eleven. Is he allowed to tell me to shut up? I guess so—when I’m being obnoxious. I’ve been saying the attitude/gratitude thing over and over. I say it like this: … Continue reading Gratitude

Tethered

Raining. Stuck inside, riding the couch. A sick day from work. Bored, listless. The invasive, morning procedure now complete. Thirty-six hours of fasting; three hours sequestered in the loo; forty minutes of probing. Hungover from anesthesia and calorie-deficiency. I want to nap... or eat. The suction of the couch, holding me in place. Tethered. *********** … Continue reading Tethered

Follow

When I hit follow, I mean it. Many WordPress users follow blogs simply to get a follow back. To boost their numbers. I understand this. Because it happens to me so infrequently, getting a follower is like a small hit of crack. A rush. Topping a milestone, 100, 200, etc, is something more. But I … Continue reading Follow

A new me

The drinker who doesn’t drink. That’s me. I quit eighteen months ago. No backsliding, no cheating. Once I got through the first few months, it hasn’t really been that bad. I have Tourettes Syndrome. But you’d never know it. My tics are fully in control. Effectively medicated with no obvious side-effects. As an added bonus, … Continue reading A new me

Paradise

Like a campy hallucination scene from a cautionary drug-addiction movie, pin-head sized white spiders skitter across my laptop keyboard and screen. But these are real (I think). As genuine as the warm, wafting breezes crossing the main living space of our rental house. And the mosquitoes so engorged they sit on the floor, unable to … Continue reading Paradise