I shopped Black Friday once. Twenty-five years ago, my soon to be sister-in-law’s BFF hosted a wedding shower the day after Thanksgiving. A traditional thing, they invited no men. Susan and I, along with my future in-laws descended on a densely populated town outside New York City. Because White Plaines is the only such town … Continue reading Black Friday
Freedom to Leave
It’s the Saturday morning ritual, even though today is Tuesday—we're starting a Thanksgiving mega-long weekend . We sat on the couch—each with a second cup of coffee on the table next to us—planning the day. Susan had the HB McClure pad. A freebie pad of paper I scored in a meeting at work. It gets … Continue reading Freedom to Leave
Brushing
Facebook message from Mary: Jeff, I feel an urge to write. Can you help me or recommend someone else who can? She recently lost someone—a shocking, heart-wrenching, premature death. Writing helps corral her thoughts. Flattering. Mary thinks I’m a writer. I responded with an email: I'm happy to pass on what I know—the basics. Here … Continue reading Brushing
Proof of Age
Not my kitchen I couldn’t relax, or lie flat, or breathe. Susan googled heart attacks. We thought she should check, maybe, just in case. We carried the microwave—the new one—into the kitchen. It mounts under the cabinets, above the stove, doubles as an oven hood. It’s not too heavy, maybe fifty pounds, awkward, but manageable … Continue reading Proof of Age
Epiphany
Rud waits at obvious landmarks and forks in the trail. When I catch up, he rides off again, steering his mountain bike over rocks and roots or a log now and then. I follow, but each time, he’s quickly out of sight. I stop worrying about holding him up. I can’t ride any faster, I’m … Continue reading Epiphany
My Fix
I bought M&Ms at lunch today—Peanut M&Ms, my long-time favorite… at least until a couple of years ago. Like all familiar products from my childhood, Mars added options, lots of options. I think the idea is to flood shelf space with M&Ms and leave less room for Reese’s Pieces. Let me introduce you to the … Continue reading My Fix
My Happy Fit
~~ Fair warning, no wind instruments in this song ~~ I don’t go for brass music—horns, trumpets, trombones, and, god forbid, tubas. Saxophones are cool, I like that sound, but all the rest? Keep ‘em. they annoy the hell out of me. Every summer, Gettysburg hosts a brass music festival. For a week, everywhere you … Continue reading My Happy Fit
The Problem Solved Problem
I left work at two-thirty today. Right, the middle of the afternoon. Seems slack, at least to me. I’m an early bird, up at five every morning. In the summertime, I catch a ride to work with Susan so the kids can have a car all day. This gets me in at seven, long before … Continue reading The Problem Solved Problem
And the Rest
Ginger or Mary Ann? If you’re a guy of a certain age (my age), this question makes perfect sense, you already know the answer. In 1964, Gilligan’s Island, a TV show featuring seven adults shipwrecked on a tropical island, first aired. The characters, each a two-dimensional being with a primary or defining trait, acted in … Continue reading And the Rest
Entry into the World of Reading
When did it start for you? I was fifteen. Home from school, sick with the flu. I suppose it was one of those late-illness recovery days where I was still too sick to leave the house but well enough to be bored silly. This was 1977. No internet, no DVDs or VCR, no video games. … Continue reading Entry into the World of Reading
Tourette
Tics: Involuntary movements and vocalizations… I sit at my desk and grit my teeth—first my molars, they squeak with friction, then my eye teeth, left then right. I press outward with my bottom teeth, until I feel movement. When I eat my apple, my jaw locks. It audibly snaps with every bite. I probe the … Continue reading Tourette
Judgement
Who's that trip-trapping over my bridge? -- From the Three Billy Goat's Gruff (a Norwegian folktale) Do you watch your stats? I do. As much as I’d like to ‘write for myself’—something bloggers always suggest whenever I bring up the topic of blog stats—I spend too much time worrying about what others think. I look … Continue reading Judgement
Best Birthday Ever
After Eli and I finished our ride, we came home and drank a couple of beers. Today is Columbus Day, the annual celebration of the man who ‘discovered’ America. Never mind that the Americas were already populated with people when he got here, and there is clear evidence that northern Europeans were already traveling back … Continue reading Best Birthday Ever
Metal Firecracker
First off, I’m breaking the rules. This story isn’t about a song lyric referencing Heavenly Bodies, Planets, Moons, Suns or Stars, which is this week’s Song Lyric Sunday theme. Building off a complying lyric is how the game is supposed to be played. I’m posting this up front so no one feels cheated. At the … Continue reading Metal Firecracker
Hello?
When he spoke, the hairs on my neck stood on end. Clichéd, sure, but it happened. My blood ran cold, my heart stopped, I jumped out of my skin. Ok, those things didn’t happen, but I tell you, I was scared. My boss warned me the school was haunted. I already knew. I felt it … Continue reading Hello?
The Emptied Nest
Eli left a couple of hours ago, a sudden invitation. Sophie’s away at college. Unexpectedly the nest emptied tonight. Susan and I are on our own all weekend. No kids, a preview of the near future. This should have happened before. Sophie’s been gone for a year. But during last school year, no overnight outings … Continue reading The Emptied Nest
AF
Computers are creepy. Years ago, I decided to cut my own hair. Before that, I went to a salon. Not a barber, a salon. When I moved to Gettysburg, the Welcome Wagon, which is simply an old lady who comes to your house, gave me a coupon for a free haircut at Georgia’s Mane Attraction. … Continue reading AF
Countdown to Deletion
Who am I? Who is me? If you’re reading this, the chances are high I don’t know you... in real life. Yes, a few people I know (IRL) follow my blog—my brother David, my friend Nancy, maybe some coworkers, Susan. Beyond that dear reader, you only know what I show you. I don’t hide much, … Continue reading Countdown to Deletion
One in a Thousand
We parked in a field. The cars around us a cross section of what you see on a Pennsylvania highway, but skewed heavy towards pickup trucks. We left our pickup at home. It’s low on gas. Until last year a Sunoco station sat at the entrance to our neighborhood. When we needed gas, an eight-minute … Continue reading One in a Thousand
The New Math
Original image from the Washington Post.
The Other Stuff 