Intellectual bathroom graffiti: I F*@KED YOUR MOTHER! Directly beneath this gem, in a different pen, a different hand: GO HOME DAD, YOU”RE DRUNK! I’d like to stop right there. A flash-post. Call it done. Flash what? Not fiction. This one is real. On the bathroom wall of the Tune Inn, circa 1986. Every time I … Continue reading I miss…
Something to chew
From my Gratitude Journal. 7/20: Bitter, grainy. The aroma, when carefully considered, contains a whisper of something foul—a woodsy rot, perhaps a hint of cat pee. Regardless, each sip, like a bite of a decadent dessert. It fills my mouth and warms my body. Almost something to chew. My coffee is brewed in a stove-top … Continue reading Something to chew
Gratitude
“Don’t let your attitude affect your gratitude!” That’s me talking. “Dad! Shut up! You sound like a stupid kids’ TV show.” This is Eli, he’s eleven. Is he allowed to tell me to shut up? I guess so—when I’m being obnoxious. I’ve been saying the attitude/gratitude thing over and over. I say it like this: … Continue reading Gratitude
Great Expectations
Yes, I know that title’s already been used. ~ ~ ~ ~ “Hundreds of new followers? Isn’t that a good thing?” This was my daughter Sophie. I just told her about having my post featured in WordPress’s Discover. This happened on Sunday morning at 9:00. Seven hours later, Sophie was just getting home. She slept … Continue reading Great Expectations
Tethered
Raining. Stuck inside, riding the couch. A sick day from work. Bored, listless. The invasive, morning procedure now complete. Thirty-six hours of fasting; three hours sequestered in the loo; forty minutes of probing. Hungover from anesthesia and calorie-deficiency. I want to nap... or eat. The suction of the couch, holding me in place. Tethered. *********** … Continue reading Tethered
An itch I gotta scratch
My workplace is large. It’s a community center: a weight room, basketball courts, aerobics rooms, swimming pool, child care center, coffee shop. Tying it all together is a long, straight hallway—a hallway I travel several times a day. Gazing down the hall, I can be seen walking with purpose… on my way to get things … Continue reading An itch I gotta scratch
Live each day without judgement
I’m goal oriented—meaning I aim towards setting goals. And then I nail them. Find the right medication for Tourettes, run a 50K, score a new job; these are a few from the past year, all complete. The year before that had a few as well: publish a book and quit drinking are a couple of … Continue reading Live each day without judgement
Sweet and Naughty
“Maybe we could put a swing in our sunroom.” Yes, a swing. Two heavy ropes bolted to the ceiling supporting a plank of wood. My family now wants a swing as a novelty seat somewhere in our house. Each day we take a lunchtime break from the sun. It’s needed. Every beach session ends on … Continue reading Sweet and Naughty
Follow
When I hit follow, I mean it. Many WordPress users follow blogs simply to get a follow back. To boost their numbers. I understand this. Because it happens to me so infrequently, getting a follower is like a small hit of crack. A rush. Topping a milestone, 100, 200, etc, is something more. But I … Continue reading Follow
A new me
The drinker who doesn’t drink. That’s me. I quit eighteen months ago. No backsliding, no cheating. Once I got through the first few months, it hasn’t really been that bad. I have Tourettes Syndrome. But you’d never know it. My tics are fully in control. Effectively medicated with no obvious side-effects. As an added bonus, … Continue reading A new me
Paradise
Like a campy hallucination scene from a cautionary drug-addiction movie, pin-head sized white spiders skitter across my laptop keyboard and screen. But these are real (I think). As genuine as the warm, wafting breezes crossing the main living space of our rental house. And the mosquitoes so engorged they sit on the floor, unable to … Continue reading Paradise
Careful what you wish for
I just went beyond two weeks without posting anything new. What have I been up to? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Bored. That’s the only accurate description. I go to work and then wait for something to happen. I wait for some problem—preferably a crisis—that requires my attention. But it doesn’t happen. Everyone is … Continue reading Careful what you wish for
The Gift Card
I’ll be honest. I was after the gift card. Fifty dollars, Amazon.com—that’s a lot of music. I teach a spin class each week. That’s an exercise class on stationary bicycles. The music is an important part of the experience. And I’ve been wanting to upgrade my music library for months now. But my pay for … Continue reading The Gift Card
Flashback Friday: That’s a thing, right?
I was thinking about racial justice the other day. That's not weird, I work for a non-profit whose mission includes eliminating racism. I started thinking about Radicalized Patriots, an essay I published when my blog was new. I thought it was pretty good, but only a handful of people ever read it. It's still timely with … Continue reading Flashback Friday: That’s a thing, right?
Fused
A car pulls onto the road behind us. I try to look back, but I can’t. It’s too much effort. I really want to see, so I turn my body completely around. The world passes my slowly turning eyes. My neck is fused, ears above my shoulders. I spin as a unit. As a metal … Continue reading Fused
The Lottery
When I get ticked-off at life, I play the lottery. When I’m frustrated by my earnings, by my job, by my writing, by my health, the lottery distracts me. The lottery gives me hope. I drop a buck. Always on the quick-pick. I have no premonitions. I’d be embarrassed to presume a hunch. I’m vaguely … Continue reading The Lottery
Time Travel
I read a news article this morning about time travelers. Well, I read it on the internet, and it was while I was reading the news, so I’m going to call it a news article. In truth, it was just a series photos—heavily overlaid with advertisements--showing old-timey, black and white photos from the twenties into … Continue reading Time Travel
Whitey and the Riff Raff
In 1983, my college dorm room was an important meeting place. Monday through Friday at 3:00, my roommate and four or five of our friends would gather to watch General Hospital. I write this in a way that implies zero involvement from me. But that’s only partially true. I rarely settled in to watch GH, but … Continue reading Whitey and the Riff Raff
Artichokes
Betty Botter bought some butter; But she said "this butter’s bitter! "If I put it in my batter It would make my batter bitter. So she bought a bit of butter Better than the bitter butter. And she put it in the batter, But it made her batter worse. Last night was Butter-Night. Dinner, nothing but … Continue reading Artichokes
“Hey, I should warn you, Charlene has googly eyes.” “What does that mean?” They pop way out, like on a frog… or a bug.” “Um, thanks for the warning.” At the start of my career, I worked for a Fortune 500 defense contractor called TRW. One company, 30,000 employees. In an effort to maintain a … Continue reading Google
