Spewing poison. Do you know this phrase? It came to mind riding home from the doctor’s office tonight. I’m spewing poison! My mood sucked. Bad vibes leaked from my pores. Susan kept reaching over to hold my hand, not talking because I didn’t want to talk, not talking because she didn’t want to hear what … Continue reading Stewing Poison
The Conversation
Arrrr. This photo is unrelated to the story that follows... “I think I need to see Nicole.” “You’re feeling pretty bad, huh?” Who’s Nicole? She’s the only mental health professional I see. Tourette syndrome, obsessive compulsive disorder, general anxiety disorder, (rarely) depression, social anxiety. I should employ an army of neurologists, psychiatrists and therapists. Instead, … Continue reading The Conversation
Dead Space
I was twelve when Bad Ronald first aired. American TV network ABC played it as an afterschool special—a ninety-minute movie aimed at tweens like me. They loaded it with commercials selling cereals and toys and other TV shows I might watch later that night. I can’t remember the specifics, but I imagine a frigid January … Continue reading Dead Space
Alice and Sparkle
Alice and Sparkle, I’m diving in head first. Are you up to speed on this controversy? “Author” Ammaar Reshi created a children’s book, and people are pissed. Reshi started playing around with the new Artificial Intelligence text generator ChatGPT. On a lark, he tasked it to write a children’s’ book. Happy with the results, he … Continue reading Alice and Sparkle
On Personal Essays
Trigger warning: Disturbing description of childhood death. As we pulled into the parking spot, I found what I searched for all these years. Boxes and bowls trying to look haphazard, the kind Susan and I bought for our first house, shabby-chic; mailboxes, mouths gaped like baby birds begging for worms; a ladder, handmade, stolen from … Continue reading On Personal Essays
The Date
All alcoholics have a date. The recovering ones. When was your last drink? I’ve talked with people twenty years sober, they can pin it down to the hour. I can’t. I’ve never had a date, or never known one. It was a Sunday in January. The tenth or the seventeenth. Today or next week. It … Continue reading The Date
The Attack
Saturday afternoon, three o’clock. We still sit, all of us, in our family room, poking at our devices. We’ve done this for hours. All except Eli, he worked this morning. He came home at noon and went straight to bed. Everyone’s a little hungover. Last night was rough. It started with a screech or a … Continue reading The Attack
iShower
I took a shower!!! Confetti-cannons fire. Balloons drop from the ceiling. Strobe lights flash and sirens scream. The crowd erupts in cheers and applause. Conversation: Nephew: I shower twice a day. In the morning and after I work out.Me: You Americans shower too often. I used to be an American. I started each day with … Continue reading iShower
Loss
Susan’s mom died last week. It came out of nowhere. Jeanne was well, grocery shopping at Giant with Susan’s father. Her energy dragged. She sat on a wooden bench by the pharmacy while Al finished gathering the groceries. It’s been a rough year for her. Bouts of confusion led doctors to suspect seizure activity. She … Continue reading Loss
Surrender
Can’t you show me nothing but surrender? It’s a quote from Patti Smith’s punk poem/anthem Land. I’ve already written all about the song, so I’ll spare you my unabashed praise, I just want to use the quote as my jumping off point for some thoughts about new year resolutions. Surrender: As used in the song, … Continue reading Surrender
Repo Man
Debbi: Let's go do some crimes. Duke: Yeah. Let's go get sushi and not pay. --Dialogue from the 1984 cult-classic movie Repo Man I called it a cult-classic. For the past thirty-seven years I’ve called it a cult-classic, but I just watched it. Nothing classic about it at all. Truthfully, it kind of sucked. Repo … Continue reading Repo Man
Patreon
Thatababy. Comic strip by Paul Trap - http://www.gocomics.com/thatababy Don’t worry. I’m not asking for money. Last week, I subscribed to a Patreon page. Is that terminology correct? Subscribe? I have no idea. To say it my way, I decided to pay a dollar a month to the podcasters who make Discord & Rhyme. “A dollar? … Continue reading Patreon
Average, Ordinary, Run of the Mill
In my favorite scene from the movie American Beauty, Mena Suvari, representative of a typical high school cheerleader—blonde and thin—spars with Wes Bentley’s character Ricky Fitts. Suvari’s character compares herself to Fitts’ girlfriend Jane: Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly! Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it. … Continue reading Average, Ordinary, Run of the Mill
Life-Changing
Life-changing. How often do you hear this term? I, for one, certainly overuse it. Possibly weekly, at least monthly. “Oh man, switching to decaf, that was life-changing!” If I take careful stock of my history, how many events actually changed my life? Like changed *all* of my life? Just a handful: marriage, kids, relocating to … Continue reading Life-Changing
Killer Robots from the Future
Why leave a comment no one will ever read? I do this regularly at washingtonpost.com. My go-to news source offers readers an opportunity to comment on their articles. I did this today. Alexandra Petri, a Washington Post opinion columnist, knocked out a mildly amusing five-hundred words on her dislike of San Francisco’s killer robot plan. … Continue reading Killer Robots from the Future
Don’t be a Karen
Maybe you’ve seen the meme. A photo shows a peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut poorly on the diagonal. The left ‘half’ is about sixty percent larger than the right. The caption: Serve this to your OCD friend. It’s not really funny at all. There’s nothing clever about it. It breaks no new ground. It’s … Continue reading Don’t be a Karen
And Another
Sixty isn’t old, right? I browse the obituaries daily. As part of my job managing finances for the county library system, I keep up with local current events. In a small town like mine, knowing who died might be the most important part of that effort. As I inch closer towards the end of my … Continue reading And Another
…it’s my blog that struggles
My star is falling, dropping fast into the sea. People stopped reading my blog—not all of them, but many. Fewer now than six months ago. And fewer then than before. Way fewer. I turned them away. I offended. Or I turned them off. Maybe I’m dull. Yes, hopefully I’m dull and not offensive. Tonight, I … Continue reading …it’s my blog that struggles
Crows
Crows in Australia go Vrark. Or so I hear. I keep writing about crows, and given the international nature of WordPress, it’s natural to get a global perspective. I heard this Vrark description from two sources. Both are bloggers who live in Melbourne. In a conversation with David W Don contrasting my small-town experience living … Continue reading Crows
Stuck
When I tumbled off my mountain bike two months ago, I knew immediately that I damaged my shoulder. Crumpled on the ground, the sensible side of my brain took over: Get up, get riding. Most people who grew up playing sports know that after a significant muscle strain or joint injury, there is often a … Continue reading Stuck
The Other Stuff 