My salvage operation of undercrust.blogspot.com continues. Today, just posting a link to YouTube. Thursday, September 4, 2014 Eli, aka DJ-E, has taken the Hannah Montana country-pop classic Hoedown Throwdown and slowed it down by 30%. The resulting song, The Slowdown Throwdown is fantastic. I think this pays nice tribute to Cyrus' voice because it does … Continue reading Slowdown Throwdown
Author: Jeff Cann
Tidal Wave City
Originally appeared on undercrust.blogspot.com — July 27, 2015 A crashing wave packing unusual force and energy. The water hits the beach and runs. Walls breached. Houses swamped and washed away. A senseless loss. Built too close to the sea. But it's expected. Tidal Wave City has run its course. This is a beach game. An … Continue reading Tidal Wave City
Food Fight
In the Washington Post today, I saw an article stating that beginning December 1, Google would start deleting dormant accounts. I have one of those. My first blog was published on Google's blogging platform Blogspot. There are a few posts on that blog I don't want to lose, so over the next week, I'm going … Continue reading Food Fight
Boba
“Number twenty-eight?” Sophie and Susan approached the counter. Each grabbed two drinks. Sophie passed one to me. “How do you know this one is coconut? They look the same.” “The guy said so.” I never ordered a boba tea before. I’ve tasted my kids’ teas on a couple of occasions. Too bitter, nothing I would … Continue reading Boba
Gaslight, Fwaneo and Fetch—the lingo of a modern world
A workplace email exchange from 2008: Alex: Hi Jeff, we’re going to have that planning meeting at 2:00. Jeff: Grool. {Five minutes later} Alex: Jesus Jeff, after I googled Grool, I needed to delete my browser history to stay compliant with our internet usage policy. I’ll leave it to you to figure out what images … Continue reading Gaslight, Fwaneo and Fetch—the lingo of a modern world
Don’t be a Sissy-La-La
One of a million conversations over the years between my brother and me: “Well I think you’re wasting your dime. You won't hear back from them. Stamps cost thirteen cents now.” “The advertisement says they'll send me the booklet for a dime.” “That comic book is five years old.” Me: Scrawny, tiny, waiflike, weak. Compared … Continue reading Don’t be a Sissy-La-La
Cease and Desist
[The Other Stuff] Contact Name:Albert Kinney Email:albert.d.kinney@usdoj.gov Comment: Notice: Cease and Desist (DOJ-02262025-003) Mr. Cann: It has come to our attention at the U.S. Department of Justice that your website, The Other Stuff, contains forty-two articles critical of President Donald J. Trump dating back to 2015. As you are already aware, as evidenced by your … Continue reading Cease and Desist
Open Rate
In a library meeting yesterday with a consultant: “So this newsletter you send out, how many people receive the email?” “Twenty thousand, but only seven thousand open it.” “Wow, that’s a great open rate.” It’s the first time I heard these figures. I’m finance, not marketing. At work, someone else worries about website stats. But … Continue reading Open Rate
Mayonnaise Vignette
Mayonnaise: the cringiest of condiments. A squirt of ketchup, a spreading of relish, but a glob of mayo. Its power is undeniable, though. It takes a burger to a different level. The step up from a Big Mac to a Whopper is more of a climb, best likened to rungs on a ladder: straight up, … Continue reading Mayonnaise Vignette
Flavor Flav—His Turn
Flavor Flav, a rapper and ‘hype-man’ for the music group Public Enemy, debuted his rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner on October 29 just prior to a Milwaukee Bucks basketball game. In a metropolitan area like Milwaukee, the Bucks could find at least a hundred local singers who could nail the pregame anthem in perfect pitch … Continue reading Flavor Flav—His Turn
Of Perfume and Pan
Consider the beet. Does a better opening line exist in fiction? Confidently giving the reader an earnest command: The beet, consider it! For my return to reading after a year-long hiatus, I selected Tom Robbins’ Jitterbug Perfume from my bookshelf. I often said “this is my favorite book” even though I haven’t opened it since … Continue reading Of Perfume and Pan
Podcasters got da Power
I downloaded Episode One of Nothing Is Real, a Beatles podcast narrated by two Irish guys with thankfully coherent accents. Because this was their first episode, they faced a blank slate, a white canvas, they held the power, they could delve into literally any Beatles topic they wanted. They talked about the album Help! Stephen and … Continue reading Podcasters got da Power
Hey Man, What’s Cooking?
In 1996, my soon-to-be wife and I moved into an apartment together. It was an obvious step up from the run-down forties-era garden apartments we both previously rented. This place was in a modern high-rise with a newly renovated kitchen—a room full of sparkling appliances. On our first night in the apartment, we decided to … Continue reading Hey Man, What’s Cooking?
A Losing Combination
Under the knife… again, tomorrow, the culmination of a year-long wait. “Let’s see if it improves,” they said, but it never did. “It’s just a mild case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome,” the neurologist dismissed me by turning his back, making this comment already halfway out the door. An affliction of real estate underwriters and insurance … Continue reading A Losing Combination
When decorations get disturbing
Susan walked in our house last night, pissed. “That house around the corner with all the body bags in their Halloween graveyard now has a girl hanging from a tree. Hanging! Like a suicide or a lynching.” “Maybe they're going for a gallows scene?” I tried to lighten the conversation. God, she was pissed. Running … Continue reading When decorations get disturbing
Ember
A muted orange glow emanates from the core. The base, black as the night that envelops it, sits sentry, a stoic guard devouring excess light. No sound escapes save an occasional hiss, an infrequent pop. Insects swirl and dive, attacking the heart and the people surrounding it. Some bite, some buzz, some are simply deranged … Continue reading Ember
Amber Alert
Central Virginia, 1981, I rode shotgun-once-removed. JD sat in the front passenger seat due to his status as the driver’s roommate, I tucked in behind him for our three-hour trip. Scott drove us home for winter break. Scott, or Checks as we called him based on his propensity to bounce them, only stuck around that … Continue reading Amber Alert
Ophelia
Is it irony that the post tropical depression stalled above Gettysburg is named after a literary character who drowned? When the rain started this morning, I folded a blanket and draped it over the armchair in my sunroom. Having a sunroom, does that sound snooty? Is it on par with a billiards room or a … Continue reading Ophelia
Heirloom
To call it a family heirloom might be overreach, but undeniably, its history was cool. Six kids wore the onesie for a month or two over fourteen years at the end of the last millennium. Children grow so fast in those early days, what fit last week is often stretched this week for one final … Continue reading Heirloom
Hero Worship
Where are heroes born? Grandpa, Jesus, Indiana Jones. I missed that step as a kid, I skip that part today—no one I admire, no one to emulate. No one to let me down. A personal deficiency, an omission of character Never installed by my parents, instilled by my teachers. Irreverence fueled by neurodivergent contempt. My … Continue reading Hero Worship
The Other Stuff 