The first and only time I wrote a six-word story, I did so as a joke. A bad joke, no one got it. I needed to explain the punchline. Six Word Story – Part II Last week, Bill, the library employee who runs my writers’ group, assigned homework. “Jeff and I have been discussing Negative … Continue reading Baby Shoes, Never Worn
Introspection
Negative Space
First I searched Google, and later Bing. ‘Crow graphic with negative space.’ I’m planning a tattoo. I have a thing for crows. A year ago, I went on a spree—three stories about crows in two months—the one I killed, the stuffed animal from college, the one that said 'hello.' I Killed a Crow | Crows … Continue reading Negative Space
And Rumors of Wars
Part 1Shakey and out of breath. It’s unclear if I’m anxious or sick. Bombarded with depressing sh*t. A sixth grader shot and killed (too soon to talk about the trouble with guns). ISIS bombed Iran. The U.S. bombed Iraq. Confusing, I don’t understand geopolitics at all. A perpetual headline now: “Fear Grows of Spreading War.” … Continue reading And Rumors of Wars
The Good and the Bad
To those celebrating sobriety anniversaries today, or maybe just celebrating sobriety, congratulations. To those who improved their lives through willpower, determination and guts, well done. To those contemplating or preparing for change, I’m along for the ride—white knuckles, gnashing teeth, hope for tomorrow—I wish you all the best. ~ ~ ~ Haiku for a new … Continue reading The Good and the Bad
Kubrick, Chandoha, Harold, and a Purple Crayon
When my kids were young, up early at five o’clock, wired and awake, and me trying to catch up with bolshy big cups of stove-top espresso, we read. We read The Cat in the Hat, and Thomas the Train, and Pajama Time, and Harold and the Purple Crayon, and a hundred other books over and … Continue reading Kubrick, Chandoha, Harold, and a Purple Crayon
At the Checkout
As soon as I pause, she swoops in to assist. I always pause. I need a moment to count items in my head, or figure out how to enter my rewards card, or wonder who that was who said ‘Hi’ in aisle five. This is self-checkout at my favorite grocery store, the small one up … Continue reading At the Checkout
Telling my Story, or Not
I ran into Sandy in the hallway. “Oh, hey Jeff, this is a heads up. You're going to be formally invited to be a book in the Living Library.” Sandy’s statement probably makes no sense to you, so let me elaborate. A big trend in libraries right now is to offer patrons a chance to … Continue reading Telling my Story, or Not
Medication Management
Every time I talk with my father, which can range from three times a week to twice a day, depending on life circumstances, he asks me the same question, “What’s new?” And I tell him, “Nothing’s new,” every single time. He thinks I live the most boring life imaginable. When I hang up the phone, … Continue reading Medication Management
Charity, Mercy, Forbearance and Benevolence!
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens: I’ve read it countless times. A week or two after the calendar flips to the last page, I get the urge. This started when I moved to Gettysburg in 2005. I found it on display at the end of a library shelf—a staff recommendation. Such a tiny book, it … Continue reading Charity, Mercy, Forbearance and Benevolence!
Animosity
He gazed out the passenger window, captivated by a farmhouse as it passed them by, the mood in the car foul to match the day. A flag, outstretched but folded upon itself matted with rain, splashed a muted stain against a pewter sky. A pond stretched, roadway to stoop with grass tufts lily padding the … Continue reading Animosity
Race Day
This is the last post I'm salvaging from undercrust.blogspot.com. There's more there, but honestly nothing I feel compelled to keep. The following post was written when my OCD was still unmedicated. Take a bunch of intrusive thoughts and mix in a healthy dose of situational anxiety--this captures well what went on in my brain in … Continue reading Race Day
Robin Williams
Originally published August 15, 2014 on undercrust.blogspot.com a few days after Robin Williams died. For years, I had a boss that I really didn't like. Ed was funny and capable, but selfish. He treated his family like crap. Married with two small boys, he spent every weekend on overnight beach and camping trips with his … Continue reading Robin Williams
Tidal Wave City
Originally appeared on undercrust.blogspot.com — July 27, 2015 A crashing wave packing unusual force and energy. The water hits the beach and runs. Walls breached. Houses swamped and washed away. A senseless loss. Built too close to the sea. But it's expected. Tidal Wave City has run its course. This is a beach game. An … Continue reading Tidal Wave City
Boba
“Number twenty-eight?” Sophie and Susan approached the counter. Each grabbed two drinks. Sophie passed one to me. “How do you know this one is coconut? They look the same.” “The guy said so.” I never ordered a boba tea before. I’ve tasted my kids’ teas on a couple of occasions. Too bitter, nothing I would … Continue reading Boba
Gaslight, Fwaneo and Fetch—the lingo of a modern world
A workplace email exchange from 2008: Alex: Hi Jeff, we’re going to have that planning meeting at 2:00. Jeff: Grool. {Five minutes later} Alex: Jesus Jeff, after I googled Grool, I needed to delete my browser history to stay compliant with our internet usage policy. I’ll leave it to you to figure out what images … Continue reading Gaslight, Fwaneo and Fetch—the lingo of a modern world
Don’t be a Sissy-La-La
One of a million conversations over the years between my brother and me: “Well I think you’re wasting your dime. You won't hear back from them. Stamps cost thirteen cents now.” “The advertisement says they'll send me the booklet for a dime.” “That comic book is five years old.” Me: Scrawny, tiny, waiflike, weak. Compared … Continue reading Don’t be a Sissy-La-La
Cease and Desist
[The Other Stuff] Contact Name:Albert Kinney Email:albert.d.kinney@usdoj.gov Comment: Notice: Cease and Desist (DOJ-02262025-003) Mr. Cann: It has come to our attention at the U.S. Department of Justice that your website, The Other Stuff, contains forty-two articles critical of President Donald J. Trump dating back to 2015. As you are already aware, as evidenced by your … Continue reading Cease and Desist
Open Rate
In a library meeting yesterday with a consultant: “So this newsletter you send out, how many people receive the email?” “Twenty thousand, but only seven thousand open it.” “Wow, that’s a great open rate.” It’s the first time I heard these figures. I’m finance, not marketing. At work, someone else worries about website stats. But … Continue reading Open Rate
Mayonnaise Vignette
Mayonnaise: the cringiest of condiments. A squirt of ketchup, a spreading of relish, but a glob of mayo. Its power is undeniable, though. It takes a burger to a different level. The step up from a Big Mac to a Whopper is more of a climb, best likened to rungs on a ladder: straight up, … Continue reading Mayonnaise Vignette
Flavor Flav—His Turn
Flavor Flav, a rapper and ‘hype-man’ for the music group Public Enemy, debuted his rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner on October 29 just prior to a Milwaukee Bucks basketball game. In a metropolitan area like Milwaukee, the Bucks could find at least a hundred local singers who could nail the pregame anthem in perfect pitch … Continue reading Flavor Flav—His Turn
The Other Stuff 