Hudson’s crew played bowls in the dell. Friend, they were wasted. They pounded their keg, ale after ale, a spent barrel slept in a ditch next to the live one. Somehow Van Winkle was there too. He lay passed out cold under an elm with daisies strewn about his head and body haphazardly like they … Continue reading Van Winkle’s Fate
Introspection
Mall Life
Go ahead, search the tag #vanlife. Think Gabby Petito, or any one of thousands of men and women, young to old, touring the parks, seeing the sights, living in their van. Think bloggers, YouTubers and Instagramers telling their story, influencing wishful thinkers and wannabes, selling a nomadic lifestyle and maybe a t-shirt. Think of me … Continue reading Mall Life
Sugar
After our first two months of dating, Susan and I drove to Erie to meet her family. Her brother was home from college for winter break, and her sister came in for the weekend. The drive was rough. Susan and I spent three and a half hours creeping out of Washington DC in a heavy … Continue reading Sugar
Alone in a Crowd
I encountered someone with Tourette Syndrome last week—I think. Their tics, facial twitches, were subtle. I stared too long and probably got caught. Still unsure, I stared some more. Once I decided I had it right, I wanted to walk over and say “Hey, me too! Tell me your story.” Susan said “Don’t, it’s none … Continue reading Alone in a Crowd
Numb
A forty-year memory is a dicey thing. You remember the stories you’ve told yourself rather than the actual events. Things get embellished, things get blocked depending on your needs. In my case, I think, blocked. I've banished memories, painful and embarrassing. Alcohol adds an extra curtain, a sheer one, not quite opaque. Another layer to … Continue reading Numb
Now what?
WordPress modified their reader again. And like always, they did it without explanation. Now a little graph with numbers appears opposite the likes and comments when I browse the blogs I follow. I can’t figure out what it means. I tried to Google it. No scrap that, I tried to Bing it. I’ve stopped using … Continue reading Now what?
The Lunatic is on the Grass*
Oh, pretty boy, can’t you show me nothing but surrender? Why am I starting a story about Pink Floyd with a Patti Smith quote? Funny thing about this quote: from the first time I heard the Patti Smith song Land, probably around forty years ago, I thought she said, “Oh pity, boy, can’t you show … Continue reading The Lunatic is on the Grass*
Daydream
The helicopter blades build speed. The gaping side door, slid open like a minivan's, offers a glimpse of the working space inside. When Eli finishes his EMT training, he could join an air ambulance crew. The paramedics load gear, or possibly a cooler chilling a liver for transplant in York. Transplants don’t happen here. We’re … Continue reading Daydream
The Inevitable
The chipmunk that lived in the downspout behind my back porch died today. Tommy murdered it. Does that sound hyperbolic? Do cats commit murder? If he had any intention of eating it, I would say he killed it, but eating wasn’t part of the plan. He offed it for sport. He dropped it on my … Continue reading The Inevitable
Wavers and A**holes (my rules for running and life in general)
In this great wide world, there are two types of people: wavers and assholes. By the great wide world, I mean the national park where I run, the Gettysburg National Military Park (aka the Gettysburg battlefield). By wavers, I mean runners who wave or nod to other runners as they approach. And the assholes? I’m … Continue reading Wavers and A**holes (my rules for running and life in general)
Chad
My apologies to anyone named Chad. I don't write much about my relationships prior to meeting Susan. Possibly I subconsciously think these stories aren't interesting, but more likely it's a defense mechanism. If I don't write about past girlfriends, they won't write about me. Although Stacey, who I dated unseriously for only eight months, has … Continue reading Chad
Vomit Draft
I started writing about the weather. Really just the temperature. I thought I could craft a whole essay on what temperature is considered most perfect. The one Goldilocks would love. Seventy degrees, not too hot, not too cold. But then I started thinking about how Americans are just about the only people who use the … Continue reading Vomit Draft
The Meaning of a Shriek
Our house was seventies suburban, solid hardwood floors but with drywall so thin I once punched a dent in it during an uninspired attempt to show my dad a bit of emotion. Each morning my father awoke early for work. He started every day with a shower. Everyone else had an extra hour to sleep, … Continue reading The Meaning of a Shriek
Ask Amy
Do you read advice columns? I do every day. The Washington Post runs a daily column by Carolyn Hax that I read while eating breakfast. As I crunch away on my Special K Chocolaty Delight cereal, the game I play is to compare my off-the-cuff response with Carolyn’s. Mine: a knee-jerk reaction to a seemingly … Continue reading Ask Amy
I don’t love yoga
I love to run. My feet gently tread the roadway or the trail. My relaxed gait allows me to absorb the scenery, focus on breath, and wander my brain. Running, every time, instills a sense of peace. I love to ride my mountain bike, primarily on the road, too many crashes in the woods last … Continue reading I don’t love yoga
End Days
I stayed up late in those days, when our kids were young. Sophie in grade school, Eli still in preschool. We put our kids to bed by seven or eight. Susan followed around nine. I stayed up until midnight or later, reading or watching a movie. Dystopia was my jam. A steady stream of low-budget … Continue reading End Days
Potpourri
I used to call posts like this one my ‘cliff hanger’ series. A nod to my propensity to write about a life event, usually an essay steeped in concern over a probable outcome or inevitability, leaving the reader on a proverbial cliff. And then I never mention it again. Weeks later someone might ask about … Continue reading Potpourri
Grave Thoughts
“I dunno, maybe scatter my ashes up in Michaux.” That’s Michaux State Forest. When I think of the most peaceful place in my life, Michaux’s got to be it. Once, the beach topped my list, but now I believe peace is synonymous with solitude, and there’s just too many people on the beach. Plus, I … Continue reading Grave Thoughts
After Surgery
“How about pain? What should I expect while I’m recovering?” I asked the wrong question. What I should have asked is “Will it flipping work?” The other day, Susan drove me to the Lancaster Surgery Center, an hour-and-twenty-minutes away. A well-respected ophthalmological surgeon cut and shortened the muscles that control my eyeballs. This is strabismus … Continue reading After Surgery
Open letter to the Binchies at Binchtopia
I listened to three of your podcast episodes. First Sophie, and then Susan, got sucked in—that’s exactly how it happened with the Happy Fits. As a college student, Sophie is exposed to new stuff: bands, TV shows, podcasts. She brings them home and Susan sees the magic. Eventually, she drags me along with her. We … Continue reading Open letter to the Binchies at Binchtopia
The Other Stuff 