Just like that, I’m a spin instructor again. Do you know about spin? It’s an exercise class. Stationary bikes semi-circled around a leader (that’s me). I select the music, choreograph the workout, think of motivating things to say. The part I like most about spin is that anyone—at any fitness level—can participate. A seventy-five-year-old can … Continue reading Outside my Comfort Zone
Pandemic
Ten days from now: “What can I get for you?” “Four Coronas with limes. We’re celebrating!” “Oh, what’re you celebrating? “The first human to human transmission of the coronavirus in the United States. We’re celebrating the beginning of the end.” This hasn’t happened. Yet. Probably. Maybe. It will though. Any excuse to party, right? I’m … Continue reading Pandemic
Crunch Time
The clock ticks, inches forward. Fits and starts. I’m on call now, unenergetic and a little grumpy. Four hours 'till midnight. Sophie picks up the piece of paper next to her on the couch. She reads aloud in a sing-song voice. In French. “Sophie! No homework now. I’m waiting.” Fingers paused over her keyboard, not … Continue reading Crunch Time
Curmudgeon
Reg Henry showed me the way. Or maybe he took my dream job. Either. Both. Whatever. Who’s Reg Henry? He used to be the Deputy Editorial Page Editor of the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette. That’s your dream job? The Deputy Editorial Page Editor of the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette is probably an important position. And a nice culmination to … Continue reading Curmudgeon
Cutting the Strings
Sophie drove the rental car. I don’t think it’s allowed. I told the agent we have three drivers; he didn’t mention any restrictions. He never asked her age, so I never told. Still, I doubt they want a seventeen-year-old driving their car. She leaves at 5:30, Tuesdays and Thursdays. “Text us when you get there, … Continue reading Cutting the Strings
Finding the Multiverse
Let’s start with a definition: The multiverse is an infinite realm of being or potential being of which the universe is regarded as a part or instance. Ha ha, just kidding. That’s actually the definition Google gave me, but it does me no good; I don’t understand it. Let’s try Merriam-Webster: a theoretical reality that … Continue reading Finding the Multiverse
300
How many blog posts is a lot? L. Stevens over at Everyday Strange does a daily quote. And poems, and a weekly calendar, and micro-fiction. I’ve been following her for years. She must have over a thousand posts. Same with Jo Hawk the Writer, she sometimes posts three times a day, how many times has … Continue reading 300
Blockade
The ramshackle jumble of tumble-down trees builds a blockade at the edge of my yard. Brown, mostly brown with highlights of muted green—ivy smothered trees, frozen, dried, projecting brown as well. So brownish on brown, in fading light it’s hard to focus on any one object. Fifteen years ago, my house freshly purchased, no deadfall, … Continue reading Blockade
A Safe Ending
Sophie stayed out past curfew. Not the curfew Susan and I set—we didn’t set one—but the curfew set by the state of Pennsylvania: seventeen-year-old drivers are banned from the road by eleven. Sophie’s never had a parental curfew; she’s never stayed out unreasonably late, and she’s never done anything to make us doubt her judgement. … Continue reading A Safe Ending
Naked
“I was on your website this morning; I don’t get it.” This was my dad. I saw him yesterday for my extended family Christmas celebration. This post isn’t about family relationships, but of course it could be. We all have so much fertile ground to till on that topic. But then I wouldn’t be writing … Continue reading Naked
Slog
Slog. (verb) Work hard—toil, labor, grind, slave. Walk or move with difficulty or effort—trudge, tramp, traipse, trek, plod. Slow going. No, really, I mean slow! Two miles uphill. At first, I ran. A mile, maybe less. The hill steepens; I start my slog. My son Eli and I tried to bike this trail two weeks … Continue reading Slog
MACH3 Turbo
How long does a razor blade last? Google this, but it’s hard to come up with an answer. First, I got dumped into a bunch of Reddit forums about a gaming computer called Razer Blade. It seems Razer Blades have a reputation for frequent breakdowns. After five minutes of reading about Razer Blade’s short shelf … Continue reading MACH3 Turbo
Happy Tourette Christmas
Hey! Chingedy ching, hee-haw, hee-haw It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, hee-haw, hee-haw The Italian Christmas donkey. Tourette Syndrome (TS) is a weird disorder. It makes you do things you don’t want to do. Yes, we’re all aware of the stereotyped guy who f-bombs in church, but he’s a pretty slim minority. Most of us … Continue reading Happy Tourette Christmas
T Minus Two Weeks
T minus two weeks. I’ve got that all wrong, I already know this. In eleventh grade history class I learned it should be D minus two weeks. T=Time. D=Day. Here’s the example Mr. Michaux used. The D in D-Day means Day—the day of the invasion of Normandy. Two weeks prior to the invasion was D … Continue reading T Minus Two Weeks
The Call
The call came late. Later than usual anyway. Historically the phone rings at 5:30 a.m. on the dot. Today was 5:56. This new administration is sloppy. And seriously, a two-hour delay? There’s a quarter inch of snow on the street. “You don’t know what it’s like in the mountains, Dad. It might be really dangerous.” … Continue reading The Call
And when the curtain rises
We huddle in the corner, avoiding the crowd, the noise. We picked Susan up at the train station. Me, getting my bearings, looking ahead to where I might pull in, I ran a red light. A chorus of horns drove me back to the line. Sitting stupid, trying to look proud, or at least competent … Continue reading And when the curtain rises
Un-Disabled
Last night I watched Chicago Hope. It’s a medical drama, I think. This episode was about a hospital, and I assume they’re all about a hospital, so let’s go with calling it a medical drama. In this episode René Auberjonois, the actor who starred as Father Mulcahy on the TV show M*A*S*H, played a surgeon … Continue reading Un-Disabled
The Christmas Tree, 2019
Another year, another Christmas post. For a non-Christian, I spend a lot of time each December writing about Christmas. We picked up our tree today. For the fourth year in a row, we drove out through the dormant apple orchards to Showers’ Tree Farm. We used to go to Seven Springs Tree Farm, closer to … Continue reading The Christmas Tree, 2019
The Best on WordPress
I bailed on two more books last week. Something’s up. Either I’ve already read all the good books my library has to offer, or I’ve become too picky. I can’t find anything to read. I work in that library. Not as a librarian, but as a finance manager. I do the accounting, the budgeting, I … Continue reading The Best on WordPress
Post-Thanksgiving, Hungover
I just wrote a piece called Depression in Two Parts. I stuck it in the Vault. That’s what I call the buried folder on my hard drive where revealing essays go to die. The ones I don’t want to post. The ones that aren’t about me. DITP is about family. And friends (ex-friends) and emotions. … Continue reading Post-Thanksgiving, Hungover
