Me, posturing with my comment, trying to seem smart on a smart person’s blog: The detritus from abandoned blogs and terminated online relationships makes my last 12 years hard to revisit. I felt like some of those bloggers were among my best friends until one day they disappeared for good. I often think about looking … Continue reading Loss
Friendship
And just like that, the game was over
Mostly, we drank beer together. We sat in my dorm room planted on threadbare Goodwill furniture, feet propped on a scuffed coffee table, Marley playing not-so-soft in the background. My roommate Rob, intense, aggressive, always ready to challenge an opinion, pick at a foible, or poke your proper buttons, brought up the idea. “We should … Continue reading And just like that, the game was over
Sugar
After our first two months of dating, Susan and I drove to Erie to meet her family. Her brother was home from college for winter break, and her sister came in for the weekend. The drive was rough. Susan and I spent three and a half hours creeping out of Washington DC in a heavy … Continue reading Sugar
Jellybeans
On Thursday morning, a swollen inter-department mailer sat in my mailbox at work. Are you familiar with these? It’s an envelope, ten by thirteen inches, brownish-gold, the color of dehydrated urine. You seal it by twisting a string around a fastener. It’s not for stamped postal mail, my name is simply scrawled on the envelope … Continue reading Jellybeans
Davey Fend
At what age are memories reliable? We lived on Ridge Road from ’67 to ’70, just four short years, but loaded with memories. Moving away in third grade helps me pinpoint my earliest memories to that house. I have a few that predate our tiny brick Bethesda, Maryland home, but those memories are snippets, snapshots. … Continue reading Davey Fend
And Another
Sixty isn’t old, right? I browse the obituaries daily. As part of my job managing finances for the county library system, I keep up with local current events. In a small town like mine, knowing who died might be the most important part of that effort. As I inch closer towards the end of my … Continue reading And Another
…and I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks!
Let me set the mood: October 1, 2017 – Las Vegas shooting, 60 dead, 413 wounded November, 5 2017 – Sutherland Springs church shooting, 26 dead, 22 wounded February 14, 2018 – Marjory Stoneman Douglas shooting, 17 dead, 17 wounded February 15, 2018 – Anastasia Bernoulli wrote her viral blog post “Fuck you, I like … Continue reading …and I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks!
Reentry into the World
Morning: My brain says get out and run. My body doesn’t move. The temperature dropped—forty-nine and windy, overcast, damp, gray. A step backwards, as if winter isn’t quite done with us, wearing us down, reeling us in. I prefer yesterday—sunny, breezy, seventy. A perfect day, but I didn’t run. I went to the YWCA spin-a-thon … Continue reading Reentry into the World
Metal Firecracker
First off, I’m breaking the rules. This story isn’t about a song lyric referencing Heavenly Bodies, Planets, Moons, Suns or Stars, which is this week’s Song Lyric Sunday theme. Building off a complying lyric is how the game is supposed to be played. I’m posting this up front so no one feels cheated. At the … Continue reading Metal Firecracker
Bricks
They gathered outside the Ugly Mug, I saw them when I drove by—smiling, laughing, relaxed. Radiating a glow only possible after a long run on a cool morning. Content. Gettysburg has three coffee shops, the good one, the popular one and Starbucks. I use Starbucks, or I did before the pandemic. I broke that habit; … Continue reading Bricks
The Drop Off
“Oh!” "What?" "I think I forgot my shoes." Flashback to twenty-five minutes earlier, Sophie walking out of the house barefoot. Me: “Hey, are your shoes in the car?” Eye roll. We just got back on track. Not from the shoe incident (although we did return home to get her shoes) but from a missed turn. … Continue reading The Drop Off
Guilt
A couple days ago, Joe died from depression. The cause of death will be listed as suicide, but I vehemently disagree. As my mother died, her liver shut down. Slowly her blood became toxic. She became loopy and then disoriented and finally settled into a painful, moaning stupor. And then she died. I never saw … Continue reading Guilt
T Minus Two Weeks
T minus two weeks. I’ve got that all wrong, I already know this. In eleventh grade history class I learned it should be D minus two weeks. T=Time. D=Day. Here’s the example Mr. Michaux used. The D in D-Day means Day—the day of the invasion of Normandy. Two weeks prior to the invasion was D … Continue reading T Minus Two Weeks
A Eulogy for Me
As a blogger, it’s my job to write about my emotions. Strike that, blogging isn’t a job, I don’t get paid… anything. It’s my responsibility, an expectation that I tell you how I feel. What would be the point of a blog of introspection if it didn’t capture the rawness, agitation and truth that accompanies … Continue reading A Eulogy for Me
I love you, what’s your name
I love you, I love you, I love you What's your name? I love you, I love you, I love you What's your name? Chorus of “Drunken Butterfly” by Sonic Youth. Do you blog? I’m guessing you do. I read a study showing that ninety-two percent of blog readers are also blog writers.* As a … Continue reading I love you, what’s your name
Where does friendship start?
My blogging friend Angela Lawson asked me to write a guest post for her blog, You are Awesome, Trying to Stay Awake in a Sleepy World: Parenting, Leadership, and Personal Development. My post is now up on her blog. For my own blog, I wanted to write about what her request means to me. In … Continue reading Where does friendship start?
Red Light
Before Instagram. Before Snapchat. Before Oovoo, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, MySpace or email, there was the telephone. In 1986, twenty-three years old, I took a business trip. Two weeks in Denver for training on a workplace population tracking program. I worked for the mega-firm TRW. A government contractor with tens of thousands of employees. So many … Continue reading Red Light
The Break Down
“Dad, why don’t we call a friend?” Broken down on a country road… after dark… eighteen degrees, windy. Susan took the ‘good’ car, we took the pickup. A 1995 Dodge Dakota. It’s fun to drive around town, but you don’t want to rely on it—on a country road, after dark, when it’s really cold. “Dad, … Continue reading The Break Down
The Other Stuff 