All the “God” I need My wife Susan and I drove past a church the other day. Out front, a sign read TGIF! I entered high school in the mid-seventies. At the time, poster sales proliferated record stores, drug stores, and Sears department stores—cute animals from kittens to seals, ugly animals from bulldogs to hippos, … Continue reading The Way
Memoir
Windows to my Soul
At my 8th grade lunch table, we compared hands, budding palm readers, one and all. Marcus Pappas blurted out "Cann's and mine look like old lady hands." He had a point—thin and boney—but it irked me that he said this out loud. Marcus died thirty-five years ago while still good looking, except, I suppose, his … Continue reading Windows to my Soul
No Kings!
Read on a sign: You can’t spell HATRED without RED HAT. Following the George Floyd murder in 2020, after conservative America began its backlash against the Black Lives Matter movement, Susan and I joined a protest. A few hundred people, mostly college professors, nonprofit workers and retirees, encircled the Gettysburg town square. We held signs … Continue reading No Kings!
Reunited?
Reunited, and it feels so goodReunited, 'cause we understoodThere's one perfect fitAnd sugar, this one is itWe both are so excited'Cause we're reunited, hey, hey Reunited, a Peaches and Herb song from my high school years. So distant from the music I preferred—Springsteen, Beatles, Thorogood, CSNY, the Stones, and of course the breaking new wave … Continue reading Reunited?
Clatter
Last weekend I bought new hearing aids. Well, I bought them weeks ago, but I had to wait for this past weekend for them to arrive. This is my third pair. I started wearing them eight years ago, and each pair died in exactly four years. Since 2017, I’ve dropped six thousand dollars trying to … Continue reading Clatter
Lyric
She stood before the room rolling a pink box in her hands. “This box contains two doses in case the first one doesn’t work.” The presenter, unexpectedly named Lyric, oozed compassion, a solemn vibe. Overdosing is serious business. I had this training once before, that guy was a comedian. His unboxing bit went like this: … Continue reading Lyric
The Final Word
The night before my carpal tunnel surgery in 2023, I blogged: I’m certain they’re operating on the wrong thing—it’s a combination of wanting it fixed and wanting to say I told you so when it isn’t. The doctor who sent me to neurology dismissed my theories, clearly annoyed that I challenged his diagnosis. “Right, I picked up carpal … Continue reading The Final Word
Clown!
I opened Facebook Messenger to this message: You look like a Pedophile. This was the final straw, and fortunately the final message during a hectic twenty-four hours selling my car. Three years ago, when our daughter Sophie moved off the University of Vermont campus, Susan and I realized she needed a car to do those … Continue reading Clown!
Sick, and stuff
01/01/2025 We woke up sick, both of us at the same time, Susan more obvious than me. Her voice scratched out “good morning“ as I tiptoed past her mattress tucked under the ping pong table in the basement. My only detectable symptom was a sore throat, and not really all that sore yet. Where do … Continue reading Sick, and stuff
Adventures in Plumbing
I saw a meme on Facebook the other day: Plumber Rates$150/hour$175/hour if you watch$200/hour if you help$250/hour if you started the job first This was surely one of those creepy cases where my phone eavesdropped on a conversation and tailored content to match my interests. Susan and I talked about plumbers last weekend. Frustrated, with … Continue reading Adventures in Plumbing
The Book of Losman
Losman and I are identical. I often felt like I was reading about myself. So much so, that by page seventy-five, I was so agitated I almost stopped reading altogether. This is an excerpt from an email I sent to Kyle Semmel the other day. He’s the author of the book I just finished. Right … Continue reading The Book of Losman
The Mourning After
I woke up this morning, the morning after election day, and thought, “Oh! This is the country I live in!” I apologize to my overseas friends, we let you down. But we can stop the debate; we now know who we are. We elected a serial and self-proclaimed sexual abuser, a felon, a man who … Continue reading The Mourning After
Box of Rain
Can we all finally agree that the on-going cultural relevance of Nirvana far exceeds that of the Grateful Dead? August 9, 1995, I showed up at Dean’s Arlington, Virginia house for book club. No, I can’t remember what we read, and in fact this may have been my last month as a participant. My decades-long … Continue reading Box of Rain
Killing Time at Midway
We found a sanctuary, a person-free oasis in a sea of humanity. Let me describe that humanity: it’s nine o’clock, the early one, still breakfast time. We just got off a plane from Baltimore. In Chicago, they line the bars. The Home Run, R.J. Grunts, and The Hubbard Inn. Bloody Marys, mimosas, beers, low balls, … Continue reading Killing Time at Midway
Suitcase
I bought a new suitcase before we flew to France. We all did, my whole family. Over the years, our travel bags wore out. Broken zippers mostly, plus they were all duffels. The airline gave us specific maximum dimensions for our one allotted bag each. They had a slot at the ticket counter to measure … Continue reading Suitcase
Heartache
It's a heartacheNothing but a heartacheHits you when it's too lateHits you when you're down -- Lyrics from It's a Heartache by Bonnie Tyler In 1978, my family broke tradition. Instead of renting our standard fourplex apartment in the sleepy 132nd block of Ocean City, Maryland, we stayed in a beachfront apartment in a high-rise … Continue reading Heartache
The Mad Pooper
We lined the dance floor like so many middle school boys building the nerve to ask Sally Barkin to dance, only now with longneck Buds in hand. The turnout was light. This was a drinking crowd, not a dancing crowd. Laurie promised a dance party and honestly, I think that kept people away. A few … Continue reading The Mad Pooper
A Social Compact
-- My name is Inigo Montoya.*-- As you wish.*-- Inconceivable!* Yes, I watched The Princess Bride last week. Every summer, Gettysburg’s college-owned ‘art theater’ hosts a Wednesday night classic movie series. When it got started fifteen years ago, it was all Casablanca and North by Northwest and Rear Window. These days, under new management, the … Continue reading A Social Compact
Inside Out 2: A Review, Sort Of
Spoiler alert: This essay reveals (most of the) key plot points in Pixar’s Inside Out 2.Trigger alert: Discussion of panic attacks. We showed up at the theater, just the two of us, gray hair in a sea of blondes, brunettes, blacks and reds. We concealed the boxes of candy purchased at Rite Aid in the … Continue reading Inside Out 2: A Review, Sort Of
Heatwave
Whenever I'm with himSomethin' insideStarts to burnin'And I'm filled with desireCould it be a devil in me?Or is this the way love's supposed to be?It's like a heatwave -- Lyrics: (Love is Like a) Heatwave by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas Heatwave is on repeat in my brain since I woke up. I fired … Continue reading Heatwave
The Other Stuff 