Me, posturing with my comment, trying to seem smart on a smart person’s blog: The detritus from abandoned blogs and terminated online relationships makes my last 12 years hard to revisit. I felt like some of those bloggers were among my best friends until one day they disappeared for good. I often think about looking … Continue reading Loss
Sobriety
Reunited?
Reunited, and it feels so goodReunited, 'cause we understoodThere's one perfect fitAnd sugar, this one is itWe both are so excited'Cause we're reunited, hey, hey Reunited, a Peaches and Herb song from my high school years. So distant from the music I preferred—Springsteen, Beatles, Thorogood, CSNY, the Stones, and of course the breaking new wave … Continue reading Reunited?
What I Told to Al-Anon
Photo by Dennis Steinauer Darrin and I bantered about alcohol, as people often do. We joked about sneaking a flask into an inappropriate venue—not sure I can remember which one, maybe the book sale we’re both working in July. Sarcasm, not seriousness. Guy talk. Tribe talk. Then I fessed up. “I’m nine years sober.” Nine … Continue reading What I Told to Al-Anon
Lyric
She stood before the room rolling a pink box in her hands. “This box contains two doses in case the first one doesn’t work.” The presenter, unexpectedly named Lyric, oozed compassion, a solemn vibe. Overdosing is serious business. I had this training once before, that guy was a comedian. His unboxing bit went like this: … Continue reading Lyric
Sick, and stuff
01/01/2025 We woke up sick, both of us at the same time, Susan more obvious than me. Her voice scratched out “good morning“ as I tiptoed past her mattress tucked under the ping pong table in the basement. My only detectable symptom was a sore throat, and not really all that sore yet. Where do … Continue reading Sick, and stuff
Identity
Stacey blogged about coffee. A bad night’s sleep, she wrote, and then straight to the coffee pot. We met on WordPress when I was addicted, each of us describing the pull of the brew. An elixir, she calls it. By definition, elixirs are magical or medicinal. For me, coffee is both. Was. I commented on … Continue reading Identity
The Good and the Bad
To those celebrating sobriety anniversaries today, or maybe just celebrating sobriety, congratulations. To those who improved their lives through willpower, determination and guts, well done. To those contemplating or preparing for change, I’m along for the ride—white knuckles, gnashing teeth, hope for tomorrow—I wish you all the best. ~ ~ ~ Haiku for a new … Continue reading The Good and the Bad
Boba
“Number twenty-eight?” Sophie and Susan approached the counter. Each grabbed two drinks. Sophie passed one to me. “How do you know this one is coconut? They look the same.” “The guy said so.” I never ordered a boba tea before. I’ve tasted my kids’ teas on a couple of occasions. Too bitter, nothing I would … Continue reading Boba
Ask Amy
Do you read advice columns? I do every day. The Washington Post runs a daily column by Carolyn Hax that I read while eating breakfast. As I crunch away on my Special K Chocolaty Delight cereal, the game I play is to compare my off-the-cuff response with Carolyn’s. Mine: a knee-jerk reaction to a seemingly … Continue reading Ask Amy
The Date
All alcoholics have a date. The recovering ones. When was your last drink? I’ve talked with people twenty years sober, they can pin it down to the hour. I can’t. I’ve never had a date, or never known one. It was a Sunday in January. The tenth or the seventeenth. Today or next week. It … Continue reading The Date
Poke at the Hive
<Slurring> “I know zhu believe that. We TALKED about thish BEFORE!” I waited, lined up in the pub. No servers here, you want something, you order it at the counter—food, drink, merch. Or maybe at the bar, if you’re lucky enough to get a seat at the bar. Five, six people away from the register. … Continue reading Poke at the Hive
Six Years “Sober”
Six years sober. Strong word, sober. It implies not drunk. Drunk wasn’t my problem, not six years ago. Twenty-six years ago, drunk fit well. Six years ago, sometimes buzzed, tipsy. But usually, just relaxed... every night. Relaxed or buzzed every night. Until I quit. New Year’s Day seems like a good sobriety anniversary. Easy to … Continue reading Six Years “Sober”
Best Birthday Ever
After Eli and I finished our ride, we came home and drank a couple of beers. Today is Columbus Day, the annual celebration of the man who ‘discovered’ America. Never mind that the Americas were already populated with people when he got here, and there is clear evidence that northern Europeans were already traveling back … Continue reading Best Birthday Ever
Metal Firecracker
First off, I’m breaking the rules. This story isn’t about a song lyric referencing Heavenly Bodies, Planets, Moons, Suns or Stars, which is this week’s Song Lyric Sunday theme. Building off a complying lyric is how the game is supposed to be played. I’m posting this up front so no one feels cheated. At the … Continue reading Metal Firecracker
AF
Computers are creepy. Years ago, I decided to cut my own hair. Before that, I went to a salon. Not a barber, a salon. When I moved to Gettysburg, the Welcome Wagon, which is simply an old lady who comes to your house, gave me a coupon for a free haircut at Georgia’s Mane Attraction. … Continue reading AF
Been Drinking Brew for Breakfast
My brother Dana bought London Calling right when it came out. The 1979 Clash album hit the record stores in December. By the time Dana returned to college at the end of January, I was hooked. Our bedrooms sat across the hall from each other—his room facing the street, my room facing the back yard. … Continue reading Been Drinking Brew for Breakfast
Summit
This morning, Susan interrupted my Zoom to give me an update on the day. “…and Eli’s getting together with a friend this afternoon.” Grrr. I wanted us to go bike riding in the woods later on. It said so right on the meeting agenda: 1:30 – go bike riding in your local forest. Over the … Continue reading Summit
Beyond the Bottom
I still check the news twenty time a day. When I finish a task at work, a breaking-point. After a run. When I wake up, when I go to bed. When I head off to the loo. Sometimes I go to the bathroom simply to read the news. No prying eyes, no one counting my … Continue reading Beyond the Bottom
Headaches
Like a vice tightening on the back of my head. That’s how I describe my headaches. Which headaches? All of them. I get my fair share, maybe a little more. Often enough to pay close attention to them. I know the causes. I know how to fix them. When I was a drinker—not the moderate … Continue reading Headaches
When I was a D!ck
Years ago, when I joined The Writers' Brigade, Gettysburg's only public writers' group, long-time member Keith Johnson put a name to the steady stream of intensely personal prose I churned out. He called it confessional nonfiction. The name fit. Much of what I produced seemed to spring from an uncontrollable desire to come clean. To … Continue reading When I was a D!ck
The Other Stuff 