Whoa. I bought a truck. Typically, I’d name a post like this as part of my cliffhanger collection—Cliffhanger pt. 5 or something like that. A time to catch readers up with what’s going on in my life, but I hope to do something more with this. More than a catch-up. Maybe cover some new ground. You can make an assessment at the end.
Last week, I wrote that buying a pickup truck seemed imminent. We had our eye on a used preowned GMC Canyon. We caught on to this subtlety early in the process. “We’d like to look at some used pickups.”
“Oh, the preowned trucks are right over here.”
We test drove the Canyon on Sunday. It’s a fine-looking truck. It handled like a meaty car. The engine purred. I felt like a badass behind the wheel. We put the truck on hold. Do you know that CarMax will let you drive away in a vehicle without buying it? When we put the Canyon on hold, the sales-woman asked if we planned to take it home with us. “You have three days to decide if you want to keep it.” We told her to keep the truck, we’d decide and get in touch with her in a day or two.
Last week was Susan’s birthday. It was also our anniversary. Susan got a bit annoyed that her anniversary and birthday week got so heavily co-opted by buying a truck. On Sunday night, Susan’s parents came over for cake. Of course, we spent the whole time talking about the truck.
The next day, Susan’s father sent an email. “I looked in Consumer Report, that Canyon is a piece of crap! He didn’t really write that. He was far more polite and diplomatic, but the underlying message was that Canyon’s a piece of crap. He suggested that I take a look at the magazine. “You probably have a copy of it right there in the library where you work.”
Novel idea: I should use the resources in my library the way they’re intended to be used. Here’s what I found: all American pickups are crap. But boy they look good. Here’s a good truck: the Nissan Frontier. We test drove one of those too. It was fine. It lacked the sashay of a big-ass American truck. I envisioned parking it between a Ford F150 and a Chevy Silverado. A toddler truck sandwiched between it’s parents.
On Monday night, Eli and I spent hours researching Frontiers. So many options: four cylinders versus six. 2.6 liters versus 4.0. Four-wheel drive versus two. 2016 versus 2017. Two door, four door, crew cab, king cab. Oddly, a crew cab is bigger than a king cab. We put together our dream truck. Which is simply a 2016 Nissan Frontier SV Crew Cab. At CarMax, the closest one was in Greenville, South Carolina—eight hours away. Carvana, which I learned is the online approximation of CarMax, had none… nationwide.
I ran a nationwide search on Cars.com and one popped up in West Virginia. Just three hours and two states away. It was low mileage, much better than the one in Greenville, and five thousand dollars cheaper. I called the next day.
On Friday morning, Susan, Eli and I took off in our 2008 Mazda 5 for West Virginia. We’re a family that misses our launch schedule every time we leave the house. “Let’s leave at eight o’clock.” We leave at eight thirty. “Let’s leave before six.” We leave at seven. On Friday we planned to leave at seven, and we were in the car and moving at seven. Things were going well.
An hour away from home, a car pulled out of a gas station, into the road right in front of me, and executed a three-point turn. I hit the brakes hard. Not skidding hard, but ooh, I don’t want to T-bone that car hard. And my left-front rotor split in half.
As far as breakdowns go, this wasn’t the worst. We limped into the gas station, sat at a picnic table, and drank coffee and ate junk food while waiting for the AAA tow truck. This is where things get bad—the tow truck arrived two and a half hours later. The driver looked at out trashed rotor and said “Huh, I’ve never seen that happen before.” We picked the closest service station based on the two AAA recommended, and the driver towed us there. The guy who answered the door was easily103 years old. He refused to fix our car.
The next shop was a professional, national repair chain. But with the extra towing, we exceeded the AAA maximum and had to pay twenty-four dollars. The manager of the new shop looked at our rotor and said “Huh, I’ve never seen that happen before.” The tow truck driver said “Hey, I said the same thing.”
While I talked to the manager, Eli priced an Uber to a car rental company at a small regional airport. Twenty-six dollars. But a few minutes later when he went to book the Uber, the price jumped to sixty-five dollars. A plane had landed, and the three Ubers in Hagerstown, Maryland suddenly had plenty of work.
The auto shop loaned us a car to go to the airport to pick up the rental car. After delivering the loaner car back to the shop, we were starving. In a rush, we chose McDonalds. I hate eating at McDonalds. I gave up eating beef and chicken in February, so now I’m stuck with a fillet-o-fish sandwich. It has to be the least appetizing thing on McDonalds menu. As we merged onto the highway, I said “Eli, can you pass me my fries?”
“Oh, are there supposed to be fries in here?”
Fifteen minutes later, my phone chimed. The car was fixed and ready for pickup. Since the plan was to trade in the Mazda, it made sense to go back and get the car. Back to the shop, back out to the airport to drop off the rental (no refund), and back on the road to West Virginia. We pulled into the car lot at four o’clock. We made it home just after nine. Everyone was in a foul mood.
The truck is awesome. Eli and I took it to go mountain biking on Saturday. We vroomed up the mountains the Mazda barely cleared. With our front wheels hanging over the tailgate like two kids trying to fish change out of a fountain, we finally looked the part of the rural Pennsylvania mountain bikers we already are. We rode a new trail we just found online, now, possibly my favorite. We blasted classic rock the whole way home.
On Saturday afternoon, one of my blog readers wrote a comment on last week’s post: The truck will be handy when you have to skedaddle on November 4th when the pitch fork folks come after you for voting incorrectly!
And I responded: And they’ll know I did too, because I bought a Nissan truck like a commie instead of a Ford or a GMC or a Chevy like a patriot.
I don’t care. I love my new truck.
The Other Stuff 
Love this story!
My father always bought American cars. Buicks, then Chevys. He could work on those cars himself, and he did.
I preferred Japanese cars. First a Subaru, which my father complained he couldn’t work on, his hands were too big. Then Mazdas – a Miata for fun while I still had the Subaru for real life, followed by a Tribute SUV. I’m on my second Tribute. My father still influences me, though; I drive a car until it dies, well past 200,000 miles.
Congrats on your Nissan. Sounds like the perfect fit. Just too bad it was such an ordeal to get it! But such epic adventures are the source of the best stories.
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I can’t work on any cars. Other than changing the battery or a headlight, I’m useless. I used to joke about my ability to build a bike from scratch while I could hardly change my car oil. I think it all comes down to interest. We’re very much in the drive a car until it dies camp. Unfortunately somebody besides me needs to keep it running.
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The only American car I’ve owned was the Dodge Grand Caravan. I prefer Japanese cars🤷🏼♀️ I love my Prius!
I’m glad you got a big truck you love! Now you need some bumper stickers. I only have 3, the yellow equal sign on blue background, a sticker from my favorite beach, the San Diego “hippie” beach, and one that has Trump’s face with “NOPE” in big letters across it. People at stop lights compliment me on that one.
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Eli has put the kibosh on any political stickers. He wants the truck to be fun. I can accept that for now. We ordered a couple of cool petroglyph window tattoos. Going forward, we’ll keep our eyes peeled for some rad, but inclusive stickers.
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I think Eli is thinking about when he gets his license and sorta takes over the truck😉😂😂😂 He’s a sly one. It’s good to have a lot of vehicle around a new driver… Younger Daughter got in an accident about 2 months after she got her license. Almost totaled the Prius, which I’d bought 3 months previously. I found out it’s a very safe car.
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Congratulations on the new truck! What a way to have to get it. Sounds like a lot of frustrating events in one day, but you got through it! Whew! Glad you like your new purchase and are having fun with it!
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Truly the day from hell. We all slept in LATE on Saturday. Last night, Susan still had a stress headache. But today I drove it to work and backed it into the space like any good redneck truck owner.
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Woohoo! The harder the work, the sweeter the reward? Congrats! Now to get a tailgate pad so your bikes don’t get banged up on all the rad shuttles you’re going to be doing up random service roads! Enjoy 😁
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The pad is ordered. Tiedown clamps jury-rigged and installed. A couple of stickers purchased. We’re pretty much set.
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Wow, what an ordeal! LOVED reading this though. Congrats on the new truck! Show us your stickers when they come in!
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Congrats on the new baby! I am looking at a Toyota Tundra, but may not pull the trigger for a couple of years. Fun day with Eli in the new truck too – definitely worth it!
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That’s a a big truck. We decided to go as small as possible, Once we realized we could transport our kayaks in it, we were ready to go. My wife’s work lot is really tight. She’s in a cinder block stall. She *thinks* she’ll be able to park there. We’ll see. I promised I wouldn’t hold her responsible if she scraped the truck.
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It is a big truck. When we move to Oregon, I wanted something to take out in the middle of nowhere. That’ll do it 😊
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When are you moving to Oregon? Will anything be left?
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2 more years. I plan on retiring there. We bought a home in Bend this summer. So far so good in that area, but definitely super sad situation.
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Wow! What a road trip. I feel your frustration and exhaustion. Bet your glad your home now. Loved reading this. Congrats on the new truck!
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The missing french fries about did me in. When we went back to swap cars, I almost swung by McDonalds again to get my fries. But we were running out of time and I didn’t want the dealership to close before we got there.
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Typical of McDonalds they’re the same here in the UK😒. Glad you made it to the dealership on time. How is the truck running?
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It’s awesome. It’s replacing a pretty tired-out car so the bar for comparison is pretty low. But really, I couldn’t be happier.
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That’s wonderful. So happy for you and the family😁 Happy driving.
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What an adventure! Congrats on the new truck, I hope it’ll take you (and the family) on many more adventures. Hopefully, more pleasant ones! 😉
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Thanks, Frede. It’s already proving useful for heading off into the mountains… something my old car struggled with.
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Great story, Jeff. What an adventure! I hope the new truck dazzles those chumps driving Canyons. 🙂
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Well, I don’t know about dazzling anyone, but I hope it spends far less time in the shop.
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I was disappointed when I read the first line. I thought, “Why’s he leading with the punch line, so to speak.” What a story. As a Mazda 5 owner I’m sorry for your loss but glad you’ve got a big ole truck to enjoy.
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I am glad to see you have got a big truck to enjoy. That’ great So happy for you.
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🙂 Thank you. It’s a small ‘big’ truck which suits me well.
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