Interview with No One

/ Jeff Cann

I don’t write fiction. Well, okay, I’ve been writing a long time. I have written fiction, but not much. In college, I wrote a story about Cory Seventeen and Cynthia Bluejay, an android and a sorority girl. It wasn’t good. I wrote the story because I liked the names I made up for the characters, and I wanted to see what happened to them. And then I put fiction writing away and didn’t try again for thirty years.

By searching my blog-category Almost Fiction, you can pull up a list of all my (fictional) short stories back to the beginning of 2016. I count seven of them. I can barely call them fiction. Most are stories about me. I’ve just altered the plotline a little. Sort of me in a parallel universe.

Last Thursday night, I attended my writers group. The topic for the evening was how to create believable characters. Here’s one of my gripes about every writers group I’ve joined. They are all fiction focused, as if only fiction writers are real writers. A group I briefly joined almost a year ago seemed baffled by my desire to write creative nonfiction. My memoir-based essays elicited such comments as “Who are you writing this for? No one wants to read this sort of thing.”

Thursday night, as I listened to the group leader discuss the plan for the session, I thought What use is character development to a memoir writer?  And then I slapped on a smile and gave it my all, because the library isn’t just the host of my writers group, but also my employer, and nothing can be gained by me becoming all contrarian.

The drill for the evening was to get to know your fictional character by interviewing them. The leader assumed that everyone had a work-in-progress, a novel, or at least a short story, with a main character to better develop. I had nothing and only fifteen seconds to come up with an idea.

I fell back on Corrosion, the screenplay I thought up in 1990. It’s the story of a talented midwestern high school cyclist who moves to Washington, DC to become a bicycle messenger. Over the course of the film, he descends into and then emerges from a world of alcohol abuse and self-loathing. A hard rock soundtrack fuels the movie. Scenes of cyclists shredding the city, hopping over car hoods, and catching air off presidential monuments keep the action alive.

That’s it. That’s as far as I ever got. A great idea, I thought, but no motivation to follow through. I hadn’t written anything in years. When the movie Premium Rush came out in 2012, I realized my movie was essentially made. I dropped Corrosion for good. Until Thursday night. My bike messenger was the only character I knew.

As happens so many times at my writers group, once I started writing, my fingers seemed to take on a mind of their own and answered the prewritten interview questions without any obvious input from my brain. I could barely contain my grin as I fleshed out this guy who lurked at the back of my thoughts for so many years.

I’ve structured his answers as a first-person soliloquy, as if the interviewer was edited out of the conversation. This could be infinitely extensive, but I limited to just a bit more than I dashed out during the twenty-minute writing session.

~ ~ ~

My family broke apart when my brother died. My parents lost it. My mother went to church and never came out. My father spent more time at work, which really meant cheating on my mom. I gave up trying two years ago. I haven’t heard from them since.

We were twins, Cory and me. Not identical. Looks, almost, but he had confidence where I didn’t. He built all our friendships. I came along as a package deal. He was a decent athlete, a decent student. He didn’t stand out anywhere, except getting along with others. He was friends with everyone. I was the opposite, unsteady, uneven. Strong at sports, terrible in school, hard to like. Now I’m terrible at being an adult. But I always make it to work on time.

Without Cory my friendships died away to nothing. If any stuck around, maybe grown, I guess it’s Dave. But that’s all him. He gives me more slack than I deserve.

When I was nineteen, this was the year after Cory died, my off and on girlfriend got pregnant. Neither of us considered the baby a potential human being, just something to eliminate as quickly as possible. That pounded a coffin nail in our relationship. I don’t hear from her, either.

When my life finally falls apart, I’ll probably call my dad. He must feel guilty about the way our family imploded. I think he’d be good for some quick cash if I needed it. My mom would tell me to come home and pray.

After work, we all get together to party. Usually at a bar, sometimes a park. Boyfriends, girlfriends, hangers on. These parties get rowdy, everyone shouting and whooping. I sometimes drink too much. I watch more than I talk, and I’m usually the last to leave.

My first full memory is Dad spinning Cory and me on our tire swing. I screamed for him to stop. When he finally did, I couldn’t walk. I threw up in the driveway. My mom hosed it away.

My apartment is nice. The basement of a house. I mean it’s a small cinder block room with no windows, but it’s cool in the summer and super quiet. I enter through two doors in the back garden. One is rotting wood, the other is metal bars like a lion cage. There’s a toilet in the center of my room, toilet paper’s on a side table.

The whole school turned out for Cory’s funeral. I wonder who would come to mine. Last summer Mark got run down by a Jeep. A few of us rented a car and drove to West Virginia for his funeral. No one came. Just his parents, us messengers, two guys he probably knew from high school. Mark was older. His life was in DC.

Oh, that’s a funny question, very corporate. In five years? I guess I’d like to own my home. Maybe a studio near Dupont. Something above ground would be nice. I plan to keep riding. I need to get better at saving money, though. Other than rent and beer, I don’t buy much. I never seem to any money left at the end of the weekend.

~ ~ ~

If you’re still with me, thank you for your indulgence. I love that my writers group has me trying different genres. Feel free to leave a comment telling me how you feel about an occasional dip into fiction, and whether you thought this was interesting to read.

Original image by Michael Vines from Pixabay

35 thoughts on “Interview with No One”

  1. absolutely no contrary in the li-brary! 🙂

    as to the writing– love it! however, i do find myself wanting to write the questions for you (had to restrain myself). btw, was this writing exercise inspired by the format used in Daisy Jones & the Six (a book by Taylor Jenkins Reid)?

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  2. I love the format. I remember when in my creative writing class in college, I was about 30 years old…maybe a lil older… when we had a similar exercise. I turned my interview into a one act play that got published in our school’s literary magazine.

    I loved doing it. It was called The Interview with Death. I remember how much my professor liked it and how little a few students in the class did. 😆 I remember thinking… I can do this. I can be a writer and/or an author. I didn’t know the difference, still don’t.

    You enjoyed the exercise, thought outside of the box, and accomplished the task at hand. Awesome. I really enjoy creative non fiction. I’m toying with submitting a piece to a magazine here on WordPress. ANYHOO. .. good stuff lol I talk too much.

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  3. I once got published in “Reader’s Write” in Sun Magazine. That was my one goal in life, well, besides publishing my one book, a memoir. After my essay was accepted, I realized I’d never get published in Sun again–and had no other publishing goals (except the New Yorker, where I don’t submit).

    I was talking to a member of my memoir writing group about fiction writing over the weekend at Chicago’s Printers Row LitFest–a feast of author talks. He has crazy family members that could be well-represented in fiction. Your guy is well-represented too. I’d like to get to know him.

    The fiction is good because you are such a good writer. I’m not sure the Q/A format would sustain my interest any further than 500 words. Maybe ask one question per.

    And who wants to read your creative non-fiction? I do!

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    • Ah Regan, time for some new goals (which I suspect you have, they just might not be so measurable as a bucket list item). I’ve long been interested in writing fiction, but I just can’t come up with plot ideas. I’m always envious of people who can and then I think “I could have thought of that!” Regardless, I’m quite happy for my writers group. The ready, set, go nature of the prompt writing gets me started without overthinking anything.

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    • Sigh, your article is one more reminder that pretty much every country is more progressive than the united states. We have unused retail everywhere, and we have a housing crisis everywhere. Hmm, I guess those two aren’t related at all (at least in the minds of community leaders who could be working to solve both problems simultaneously). Speaking of Melbourne, Susan and I just completed the first season of Fisk. Are you familiar with this show? We absolutely loved it. Season 2 isn’t available in the US. Susan wondered if one of my Australian blogger friends could record it. 🙂

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      • Fisk is Great. iView is the name of the Internet service provided by the government owned ABC channel that broadcasts Fisk. Doubt if I can record from that online service here. Do you have Access to VPN? Maybe a free VPN trial will get you through series two.
        Let me know if that might work for you? In the meantime I’ll see if I can record and email you but I’m not too hopeful.

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        • I imagine the Hollywood strike is having some effect but we tend towards UK and European stuff. So much online through ABC and SBS, the other government run tv station.
          Ah, the benefits of a.mixed economy.

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        • PS my free to air TV is in limbo because of a gardening accident – whipper snipper cut straight through the cable. My repair didn’t fix the signal and I think the aerial cable has been pulled out of its socket somewhere up above the chimney top – where I’m not game to climb.
          ~
          Re USA housing issues – same here at the moment.

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  5. I was intrigued by your story, Jeff. There’s some good character development here in just a handful of paragraphs. Sounds like this writing group is stretching your literary boundaries. Which is great. But, if you prefer creative non-fiction, write what you love.

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    • Thanks Mark. FOr sure creative nonfiction is ‘my genre’ but I really do enjoy how this group has forced me outside of my comfort zone. I’m also meeting some interesting people, which is an ongoing goal for me.

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    • Hi Georgia, Thanks. My heart’s in creative nonfiction, but I wouldn’t mind coming up with a decent fiction plot once in a while to write about. I hope your semester is off to a good start and there are lots of strong writers in your classes to read.

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  10. Whoever said “nobody” wants to read memoir essays is out of touch. Lots of people love memoir. We need character development in memoir, I think, in that all the characters need to be interesting – good supporting roles, if it was a movie.

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    • Several people in that group said all sorts of things I disagreed with. I only went to one meeting and then excused myself. I agree that character development is necessary in memoir writing, but for the most part I don’t need to interview my memoir characters. Probably, I hope. Maybe…

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  11. There’s definitely something in the air. I recently finished writing a post about interviewing characters to both get to know the characters and to assist in fleshing out the story. I first encountered the technique in one of James N. Frey’s excellent how-to writing books. It’s scheduled to publish this Saturday. I finished writing it yesterday and just saw your post today. I didn’t want you to think I stole your idea.

    I’m not above stealing a good idea, mind you. I just didn’t do it this time.

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  12. “Who are you writing this for? No one wants to read this sort of thing.”!! How rude is that!? It’s not a very encouraging thing to say to a writer, is it? I’m not surprised you only stayed in that group briefly. I think if someone had challenged me like that, I would have either walked out red-faced or shrivelled up under the desk!

    Seriously, though, I love your creative non-fiction and enjoyed the above piece; I liked how you wrote it, leaving the interviewer out – it was an interesting read, conversation and flow of thoughts. As I read the paragraphs, the words formed a real and tangible character in my mind, and I wanted to read further. You have a lot of talent as a writer, Jeff.

    I feel the same about fiction as you do. As you know, I rarely write any. In fact, I think there are only two or three pieces of fiction on my entire blog. I admire your determination and acceptance of a challenge in your writing group. You give it a go and always come up with something good, in my opinion. My writing class is on Thursday mornings, and I dread it when my tutor asks us to write a piece of fiction for our coursework. Invariably, I can’t get started on it and have to offer my apologies, feeling very frustrated and cross with myself, or I get something half-written and offer to finish it during the following week (that sometimes happens, or sometimes not.)

    P.S. Sorry, I’m so late in catching up with your posts lately. It’s not just yours – I’m having a job keeping up with everyone, as I’ve mentioned before. I’m always glad when I finally manage to read your writing – I like your style. Take care, Jeff. X

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    • Well, don’t let your instructor bully you into writing fiction. I’ve definitely ignored the assignment in the past and just written what I wanted. The vibe in that first writers group was really weird. One guy didn’t get what I thought was obvious, over the top sarcasm and got his feeling hurt because I was disrespectful to American football. I’m feeling very fortunate with the setup I’ve got now. The people are very supportive. BTW, the 2 or 3 fiction pieces of yours that I’ve read were excellent.

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      • Thanks, Jeff, for your comment and for appreciating the couple of bits of fiction I’ve written. Having to write fiction is the only reason I don’t go along to the local writing group – it’s always about fiction and nothing that comes naturally to me. I had to write a piece this morning for my coursework. It was based on the six-hat thinking theory, which I really struggled to get my head around. You can google it if you want to know more. I’ve been trying to write it since last Thursday, so I’m thankful I got it done this morning. I’ll have to wait and see what my tutor thinks of it on Thursday. I’m glad the people you write with are supportive. It makes all the difference to how we feel about our own writing, I think. X

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  13. Jeff, I was surprised to read that the former writers group members were “baffled” that you wanted to write creative nonfiction – not very encouraging, eh? You’ve probably read it, but if not, I found Lee Gutkind’s “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – The Complete Guide to Writing Creative Nonfiction from Memoir to Literary Journalism and Everything in Between” (DaCapo Press 2012) very helpful. One item, in particular, was the observation of David Halberstam that if one wants to learn to write narrative then one should read detective fiction to learn how. Anyway, all of Gutkind’s books are gold mines to me. Cheers!

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    • The other writers were working on fantasy novels. My 1000 word memoir essay just didn’t fit their definition of writing I guess. I have not read that book. I’ll check it out.

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