Do you know this title reference? It's from a kids' book. I don’t know the story: Alexander’s Super Bad Day, etc. I never read it as a kid. By the time the book came out, I was too old for it. And somehow, as a parent with two young children and a serious read-aloud addiction, … Continue reading Jeff and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad (Medical) Day
Blogging
Questions with Jeff
Do you talk to yourself? Years ago, I took on an accounting position that sat vacant for eight months. My new desk languished in a sea of paper—two-hundred-forty stacks of daily accounting records waiting to be entered. Each day’s data took five to ten minutes to input unless there was a variance to research. There … Continue reading Questions with Jeff
Destiny, + or –
Spoiler: Eli and I both tested negative. Predestiny. It isn’t a thing. We all have our beliefs. Some (mine) might be hurtful to others. Many people of faith view the events of life like a movie already in the can. The scenes play out as shot, no deviation from the plan. We, the actors, are … Continue reading Destiny, + or –
A Plate of Shrimp
Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate of shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in looking for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness. -- From the 1984 cult-classic movie Repo Man. Today, the cosmic unconsciousness is clicking in … Continue reading A Plate of Shrimp
An American Obsession
What countries lead the world in You are an obsessionYou're my obsession --Animotion I have a few. Obsessions, that is. Not regrets a la Mr. Sinatra. Obsessions. The world map in WordPress being one of them. I hope to fill it up one day. To score a visit from every country. 195 of them according … Continue reading An American Obsession
Earworms
Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me? Earworms, we all get them. I took a poll, once: Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? Everyone said yes. Well not everyone; I posted this on Facebook. Everyone would be three billion people. I posted it in my Tourette Syndrome group. … Continue reading Earworms
Too Much Thinking
Can you stand another post about insecurity? Someone must like these posts. I would. I feel relief when I see someone who is more neurotic than me. I get a small rush from comparing favorably. Last week I complained that no one reads my blog. This week, you guessed it, I’m read too much. It … Continue reading Too Much Thinking
Whatever, Whenever, Where Ever
Thirty years ago, my friends and I took an overnight camping trip. About twenty of us hiked from a roadside trailhead to the top of a smallish mountain in the Shenandoahs—the Virginia and West Virginia section of the Appalachian Mountains. Some of us wore metal-framed hiking backpacks, tent and sleeping bag lashed to the outside. … Continue reading Whatever, Whenever, Where Ever
*Normal* A story of change
“Jeffrey doesn’t like change.” My father said this (in my presence) to my mother as our family contemplated moving to a new state. I must have been twelve or thirteen years old. Prior to this, I was unaware of my aversion to change. Brief aside #1: Please don’t call me Jeffrey. My father is permitted … Continue reading *Normal* A story of change
Tommy & Me at 3:53
Seven, eight, lay them straight. Remember this nursery rhyme? Old-school, maybe no one under fifty-five has heard it. I didn’t until I started kindergarten in 1967. I lived in a progressive household. We laid them straight, gay, crooked or in a circle. Yes, this is the nonsense that ran through my brain at three-thirty this … Continue reading Tommy & Me at 3:53
A Prayer for Something Better
Something small falls out of your mouth and we laugh.A prayer for something better, a prayer for something better. Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot! Seriously, WTAF??! This is my final earworm of 2020. Earworm? A song-clip, running on loop, invading my brain. I don't conjure these up, I don't put in a bid or request them from the … Continue reading A Prayer for Something Better
Viral
I went viral once. Three summers ago, I wrote a post; I’d rate it as fine. Not great, not memorable, the sort of post that two and a half years later, I doubt I would even remember writing. But because it went viral, I remember the circumstances well. In our tiny house in Culebra, Puerto … Continue reading Viral
Lucky
Do you remember Google's “I’m Feeling Lucky” button? When Google launched in 1998, below the search bar there were two buttons. Both equally prominent, unless you think the right side is more prominent than the left, which I do because I’m right-handed, and then the Lucky button ruled the screen. The other button simply read … Continue reading Lucky
Later on, we’ll conspire
Russian bots swarming the internet, intent on disrupting our election Today, I join the nut-cases. I hope our relationship survives, yours and mine. A couple of months ago I unfollowed a blogger. She wrote inventive poetry and gut-wrenching prose about her childhood spent with her physically abusive father. I counted her as one of my … Continue reading Later on, we’ll conspire
Meat Adds Flavor!
Gettysburg is known for three things: Ghost tours, ice cream and pizza. If you abolish those three business categories, the storefronts are empty. There’s nothing left. No place for the tourists to go. Tourists? Oh right, I guess Gettysburg is also known for its civil war battle. I live in the sort of town where … Continue reading Meat Adds Flavor!
Mixing metaphors and massive thoughts
Transform from a body at rest into a body in motion. Imagine a banquet table, round, eight feet across, ample seating for ten or twelve. An array, a menu of choices heaped upon the table. Not food, but aspects of my life. The one I want, for myself, for my family. The table must be … Continue reading Mixing metaphors and massive thoughts
Cliffhanger No. 3
Cliffhanger. Do people know this word? My generation does, and those generations before me. It’s old fashion-y, like nickelodeons and world’s fairs. Nickelodeons—I just stumbled on this word while I looked up the etymology of cliffhanger. The first cinemas were called nickelodeons—back around the turn of the century (the prior one, old fashion-y, remember). People … Continue reading Cliffhanger No. 3
Target
Oops, I ghosted my blog. Last Tuesday, I freaked out. In writing. I ranted about my blood pressure, certain kidney failure and vertigo. I thought I was dying. I was so convincing, both of my brothers texted me the next day to check up on me. I got a dozen blog comments, all saying the … Continue reading Target
Hush
I like music. After work, I stopped by Kennie’s Market to grab some stuff for Sophie. She had her wisdom teeth pulled this morning, and while the surgery went perfectly, she’s sore and deserving of a treat. She planned on a smoothie for dinner. I got some bananas and Breyers Fudge Swirl ice cream. She … Continue reading Hush
Abagunda
I have nothing left to say. Do you ever feel this way? I started blogging in 2013. Since then I’ve published at least one story per month, and one month, during a brief period of unemployment, fifteen. I’ve used up all my material, I’ve told every story there is to tell. For years, I did … Continue reading Abagunda
