My Fix

I bought M&Ms at lunch today—Peanut M&Ms, my long-time favorite… at least until a couple of years ago. Like all familiar products from my childhood, Mars added options, lots of options. I think the idea is to flood shelf space with M&Ms and leave less room for Reese’s Pieces. Let me introduce you to the family: White Chocolate M&Ms and Pretzel M&Ms and Crispy M&Ms and of course Plain M&Ms. My favorite M&Ms now are Caramel M&Ms and Peanut Butter M&Ms. But the vending machine only had Peanut.

The vending machine is at my workplace, a library. Good idea, you say, lots of people walking by, lots of potential customers. No, this vending machine is in the breakroom, employees only. The most employees we have working at any given time is sixteen. That’s doesn’t seem like enough people to support a machine. I probably buy something once every two months. Extrapolating that rate, they sell less than a hundred candy bars a year. But I see the machine owner weekly, clearing out the change, stocking the selections. I guess my colleagues make far greater use of it than I do.

I eat the same thing every day. I start the day with two bowls of Total cereal. I hate Total cereal; it tastes like cardboard. I’ve found that if I eat a cereal I like—say Special K with Red Berries, or Blueberries, or Vanilla & Almond, or Chocolatey Delight (see? shelf flooding)—I overeat. Not long ago I saw a photo of myself that Sophie took. My belly was eye popping. I gave up my Chocolatey Delight Special K. Cardboard Total for me from now on.

For lunch I eat a bagel with hummus and baby carrots… every day. Yes, it gets dull, but I always complete my meal with a couple of squares of dark chocolate. Except this week. This week, I’ve been eating leftover Halloween candy. Lots of it. The multipack we bought (three times, we bought the multipack three times, the first two times Susan, Eli and I ate all the candy) contained two types of Milky Way (original and “Midnight,” more shelf flooding), Twix and Snickers. The ratios were screwed up. Two thirds of the candies in the bag were Snickers. Every day, I took five mini-candy bars with me to work. A Milky Way, a Twix and three Snickers bars.

Today we ran out of Halloween candy. Packing my lunch, I reached for the candy bowl, all that was left was one Payday. At seven-thirty on Halloween night, Eli rushed into the house: “We’re running out of candy!” Susan dumped in the bag of Payday bars that I keep for exercise. Sugar and nuts. Long ago, I found these to be the most effective energy bars for me. While everyone else chokes down PowerBars or Gu, I enjoy a Payday.

Eli overreacted, we didn’t run out of candy. We still had plenty left for me to eat for lunch all week. Until today. I knew there were two Snickers bars set aside in the living room. I saw them there yesterday. I grabbed them as I made my lunch. Preparing to leave the house this morning, Eli shouted from the living room: “Hey! What happened to my Snickers bars?”

“Oh, did you want those?” We each took one. Flash forward to lunch. One mini-Snickers bar. When it was gone, I pouted. The chocolate addiction I’ve built over the past four days said no way. I grabbed the spare change I keep in my desk for a candy emergency and bought my M&Ms in the vending machine. I guess I better buy chocolate tonight. I’m out of change, and I doubt I’ll get through tomorrow without my fix.

Photo by SHOT on Unsplash

32 thoughts on “My Fix

  1. We had 2 trick or treaters at our house. TWO!😲 We’ve been trying to convince Ben that the small kit-kat from the mix is the same as a regular kit kat. Nope! He won’t even try. Won’t try the Hershey bars or the Reese’s either. I’ll be eating candy until Christmas, then eating Christmas candy til my Feb birthday 😂😂😂😂

    Chocolate is very important!!😉

    Liked by 2 people

      • I don’t know if it’s an autism thing or a Ben thing, but he is EXTREMELY particular. Even a king size is “wrong”🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s frustrating to me, but I imagine it must be rough for him… he wants the candy, and it’s *almost* right, but not.🤷🏼‍♀️
        More for me😂


  2. I love that you chose to have m and m we have to live a little, other wise life becomes boring, I believe in eating healthy and working out, but every once in awhile when the grocrie store make fresh baked bread I have to buy it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We live in THE neighborhood when it comes to Trick or Treating. Kids get dropped off to trick or treat in our neighborhood. There are a ton of houses in a one-mile-long stretch. We always run out of candy and we did again this year. Declan was our only trick or treater so the haul of candy that came in was not nearly as big as it has been in years past. Declan, Catelyn, and I do not like chocolate (I gave up sugar 10 years ago) but the Bobs do. I’ve noticed the bin of candy is chocolate-free at this point. Just a couple of lollipops are left. Looks like they may feel the same way as you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well Susan bought me chocolate covered peanuts so I’m good for a couple more days. Eli and a friend actually made a quick late round of our neighborhood and did really well in 20 minutes. Of course, I ate his last snickers…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I could read stories about what people eat all day long. One of the most memorable books I ever read was by a person who lived in NYC. The book was a photo diary of every single thing she ate over the course of a year. You got to know her really well by the end of that year…where she went, her habits and routines, what she liked, who she ate with. It was fascinating.

    I like your accountant analysis of the library’s vending situation.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It sounds like you’ve come to terms with your addiction. While typically I would recommend some kind of twelve-step program, I whole heartedly approve of a chocolate addiction. (In the terminology of recovery programs, addicts might call me an ‘enabler’ or ‘drug adjacent friend.’) If chocolate is your only weakness, you are still doing better than 90% of the population. Eye-popping bod, notwithstanding.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ohhh, peanut M & M’s are my favourite… I used to buy the big bags from Costco but had to stop because I would just eat handfuls until I got sick. (Self control, I’ve heard about that somewhere before.) Love hate Halloween for the sudden access to handfuls of small candy bars that, when consumed, probably equal a few big ones…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m constantly talking myself into consuming sweets. “Jesus Jeff, you just ran for an hour, go ahead.” Never mind that those hour-long exercise calories are already built in to my day. Gotta get it under control… or exercise more.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Somewhere there is an ode to Caramel M&M’s being written exactly the correct ratio of chocolate, sugar and caramel to enjoy. Giving up alcohol allows for all sorts of other less destructive pleasures.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great post, Jeff. We had just one treat-or-treater this year, which meant we were left with two large bags of “fun size” plain M&Ms. Tom and I have since consumed all but three of the packets. If you were here, I would give you all three … a total of 45 M&Ms to feed your chocolate addiction:)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Count me as another who is uninitiated to caramel M&Ms. Now I’ll be eyeing the grocery store’s candy aisle, curious, because I love caramel candy.

    Generally, I can leave chocolate alone. I’ll eat it when it’s handy, and I’m here to tell you that M&Ms (of any kind) were welcome friends at aid stations during long trail races. Paydays were a staple in my running pack on long training runs. (Salt and grease will get you through many miles.) But I only ate that stuff during long runs, sort of like only ever eating McDonald’s fries and milkshakes after a race as “recovery” food.

    On second thought, maybe I won’t search out the caramel M&Ms. I don’t want to start something I won’t be able to stop.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I *still* haven’t broken away from my post halloween candy addiction. Worse this year than normal. The bag of Rolos in the cupboard didn’t help. Give those M&Ms a try. They’re really good.


  10. LOL. My husband and I each argued about who actually took the last two pieces of Halloween candy. All I can say is I know that I would not have left the empty Rubbermaid container sitting on the pantry shelf with the lid next to it.

    Liked by 1 person

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