It’s a simple mechanism, the garage door lock. A spring-loaded bolt pushed through a slot in a metal rail—the rail the garage door rolls along as it’s opened or closed. It’s like a deadbolt on the front door. Binary, locked/unlocked, no gray area. A lever releases the lock. The bolt springs back, unlocking the door. … Continue reading Routine
Writing
A Prayer for Something Better
Something small falls out of your mouth and we laugh.A prayer for something better, a prayer for something better. Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot! Seriously, WTAF??! This is my final earworm of 2020. Earworm? A song-clip, running on loop, invading my brain. I don't conjure these up, I don't put in a bid or request them from the … Continue reading A Prayer for Something Better
Viral
I went viral once. Three summers ago, I wrote a post; I’d rate it as fine. Not great, not memorable, the sort of post that two and a half years later, I doubt I would even remember writing. But because it went viral, I remember the circumstances well. In our tiny house in Culebra, Puerto … Continue reading Viral
Lucky
Do you remember Google's “I’m Feeling Lucky” button? When Google launched in 1998, below the search bar there were two buttons. Both equally prominent, unless you think the right side is more prominent than the left, which I do because I’m right-handed, and then the Lucky button ruled the screen. The other button simply read … Continue reading Lucky
Mixing metaphors and massive thoughts
Transform from a body at rest into a body in motion. Imagine a banquet table, round, eight feet across, ample seating for ten or twelve. An array, a menu of choices heaped upon the table. Not food, but aspects of my life. The one I want, for myself, for my family. The table must be … Continue reading Mixing metaphors and massive thoughts
Cliffhanger No. 3
Cliffhanger. Do people know this word? My generation does, and those generations before me. It’s old fashion-y, like nickelodeons and world’s fairs. Nickelodeons—I just stumbled on this word while I looked up the etymology of cliffhanger. The first cinemas were called nickelodeons—back around the turn of the century (the prior one, old fashion-y, remember). People … Continue reading Cliffhanger No. 3
When things aren’t right
This happened before, years ago, mornings just like today, a common occurrence. Over-thinking. A bad night’s sleep. Shaky. Hungover. Dry heaving. Brain-fogged. I don’t miss it. At all. I’ve worked myself into a tizzy. Tizzy (noun): a state of nervous excitement or agitation. Nervous excitement sounds fun. I’m in the agitation camp. I’m worried I’m … Continue reading When things aren’t right
#BlackLivesMatter #NotMyBag
“This is my first protest,” I said. Susan and I drove towards the square, the sign Sophie made awaiting debut, it's birth, safely strapped in our back seat. I’m not demonstrative, I don’t demonstrate. I ponder, get pissed. I tell the world exactly how I feel, quietly, on my couch, through words, written, not shouted … Continue reading #BlackLivesMatter #NotMyBag
We must do better
January 20, 2021. 8:00 PM EST. The screen fades from black. The president stares intently at the camera. He takes a deep breath and lets it out with an audible sigh. My fellow Americans, the time for games is over. It’s time to stop pointing fingers—at politicians, at medical institutions, at other countries. We can’t … Continue reading We must do better
Mea Culpa
What the hell is this? An advertisement? Do you follow my blog? If you do, you know my latest post started as a humor-based personal essay and ended in a sales pitch. I tried to sell tickets to an upcoming event—a virtual author-talk by New York Times bestseller Jamie Ford. Let me assure you, I … Continue reading Mea Culpa
King Tut likes dystopian
And make sure you say I’ve been at it since January. Funny place to start. Pretty close to the end. Everyone’s writing about the virus. It’s the only game in town. Quarantines, fear, unemployment, death. Deep, personal, life changing topics. Today Sophie got in the game. “I’m supposed to write about how an incident affected … Continue reading King Tut likes dystopian
Semi-retirement (AKA Shelter in Place)
♫ It’s the end of the world as we know it… and I feel fit. This morning while working on a spreadsheet, my computer locked up. After much head-scratching and poking about, I rebooted my PC. A few minutes later, it locked up again. And then again. I’m the only one at work this week. … Continue reading Semi-retirement (AKA Shelter in Place)
Snippets
What did you do today? I came home from work early, a half day. My workplace, a public library, closed on Tuesday. The board dismissed all employees for emergency leave—which is paid, so far. The high school is closed for the rest of the month; my kids are on an extended break, the teachers expect … Continue reading Snippets
Social Distance
Spring Break 2020! Wooo! Accountants gone wild! I ran a longish route today. Longish? Long starts at seven miles, at least in my mind. I don’t know where I got that, but I’ve believed it since 1988, when I started running long-runs. Six is a run, seven’s a long-run. Just like that, inarguable. I’d love to … Continue reading Social Distance
Of vegans and hoarders
I’m part of the problem. Our pantry is full of food: pasta, rice, beans. Our freezer is packed: frozen fruits and vegetables, lots of French fries, some pre-made burgers, pounds of chicken. The snack cabinet, overflowing: cheddar pretzels, corn chips, popcorn, snack mix, potato chips (Utz, Lays, Hanover), granola bars, Clif Bars, fruit gummies. Boxes … Continue reading Of vegans and hoarders
Walking a Wobbly Rope
David Sedaris called me an amateur. OK, let’s discuss the obvious: David Sedaris doesn’t know me; Although I have earned money writing, I’d hardly call myself a professional; Really, he only called one of my writing habits ‘amateur.’ Not me personally. Still, it hurt. Who’s David Sedaris? You’re kidding, right? In this gigantic WordPress world … Continue reading Walking a Wobbly Rope
Calm, Content, Relaxed
We layer sensibly. Wicking shirts hanging long over nylon tights. Hats and gloves. A gaiter for my neck—frigid air makes me hunch my shoulders, run stiffly. Today, the coldest day this year. But not uncomfortably so—in the twenties, not the teens. We slip into our running shells as we leave the house. Neon, both of … Continue reading Calm, Content, Relaxed
Curmudgeon
Reg Henry showed me the way. Or maybe he took my dream job. Either. Both. Whatever. Who’s Reg Henry? He used to be the Deputy Editorial Page Editor of the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette. That’s your dream job? The Deputy Editorial Page Editor of the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette is probably an important position. And a nice culmination to … Continue reading Curmudgeon
300
How many blog posts is a lot? L. Stevens over at Everyday Strange does a daily quote. And poems, and a weekly calendar, and micro-fiction. I’ve been following her for years. She must have over a thousand posts. Same with Jo Hawk the Writer, she sometimes posts three times a day, how many times has … Continue reading 300
Naked
“I was on your website this morning; I don’t get it.” This was my dad. I saw him yesterday for my extended family Christmas celebration. This post isn’t about family relationships, but of course it could be. We all have so much fertile ground to till on that topic. But then I wouldn’t be writing … Continue reading Naked
The Other Stuff 