“I have to run into work for a sec. You want to ride along?”
“Nah, I’m about to eat lunch.”
“It’s 3:15!”
Today’s latest evidence—my kids are becoming vampires.
Me, channeling my mother: “Get out of bed, the day’s half over!”
“Why?”
I don’t have an answer. Why go to bed early? Why not sleep until noon? Why not eat lunch at three? Who cares? There’s nowhere they need to be. We’ve made few requests. Keep up with school work. Get regular exercise. Do the chores we assign.
Early on in the pandemic, Sophie vowed to use her extra time to learn to play Eli’s guitar. She hasn’t done that. But she plays her flute and saxophone. She draws. She runs and rides her bike. She bakes for the family. She stays up until 2:30 every night.
Things are less clear-cut with Eli. He doesn’t have as much schoolwork as Sophie, and his hobby is gaming. The lockdown works well for him. More time to play the same games with the same friends as before the crisis. Only now they do it later. Much later. At least he’s riding a lot. “Dad, we should go mountain biking.”
“It’s pouring out. It’s been raining all day.”
“Oh. Really?”
When I was in college, on my summer breaks I worked at a pizza place. My shift started at five each evening and the restaurant closed at midnight. I typically punched out around one o’clock and then drank beer with my manager and the other closers past two. Or we hung out in the back parking lot with beers until 3:00. Or both. Regardless, I rarely came home before 2:30 or 3:00 AM. On weekends, my parents were home during the day; that’s when I heard that day’s half over line from my mom.
I’ve read that teenagers are wired to stay up late. And sleep late. It’s so pervasive that our school district actually surveyed families a couple of years ago to try to determine if school should start an hour later. Well it doesn’t matter anymore, because now there’s no school.
Summer jobs seem unlikely this year. Even if they can find jobs that adults aren’t begging for, I can’t see allowing my kids to work retail. I honestly don’t want them coming in contact with that many people. But their lack of schedule concerns me. When (if) school starts up in the fall, the break from school will be pushing six months. Imagine how hard-wired their habits will be. My vampire schedule, learned from years working in a restaurant, lasted well into my adulthood. As a thirty-year-old, even on work nights, I usually stayed up until one o’clock. I caught up on sleep on Saturday and Sunday morning.
I heard a presentation recently by a psychiatrist asserting that I should force my kids into a daily schedule resembling a school day. He warned that a lax, late night schedule would lead to depression, agitation and aggression. I’m not buying it. As a family, I don’t think we’ve ever been this close. We joke easily, hike together, work on jigsaw puzzles, we even watch TV as a family. No one seems depressed, and no one’s angry or aggressive. Honestly, no one seems to miss our normal life.
As the weather warms up, I’m hoping Sophie and Eli spend more time outside. They have access to a car, and we have phenomenal hiking and mountain biking trails surrounding us. We have lakes to kayak and ponds to fish. I know they’re already growing bored with TV and gaming. As I was running into work today (a library) to pick up my forgotten phone, they asked me to grab them some books to read.
In many ways, a six month break from life is an unbelievable luxury for a couple of teens. Plenty of time to tryout a phase, get bored and move onto the next activity. Lots of time to figure out who you want to be.
So, is this part of that new normal? Asking for library books? I hope so.
The Other Stuff 
I wouldn’t worry about your kids. From everything you’ve written about them, they seem to have great heads on their shoulders.
I still prefer the late nights and would sleep until 10 or so if I had that option.
ANY person requesting a book at ANY time is a good thing!!
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My sleep schedule has definitely slipped during quarantine. I got up at 8 both days this weekend. That’s sleeping in for me.
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I think lots of folks of all ages are discovering this “new normal” is pretty sweet.
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The introverts anyway.
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We have the same thing going on here. 12, 1, 2 – somewhere around there the two older ones show their faces for the same time and they are doing the same things. Gaming with friends, face time with friends, etc. They are (now) getting all their school work done and I am finding the same thing – I am totally loving hanging out with them. We are laughing, joking, and really just talking more than we ever did. This has been a great experience for us.
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The thing I love about our family vacations is we get so much time together as a family. After the first couple of days, we all gel and get along great. This has been going on for almost 2 months. My guess is it will have a permanent positive effect on our relationships. Almost worth it.
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Glad to know life ain’t so bad for you and your family. Maybe the vampire thing runs through your blood 😊
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I constantly worry about all sorts of stuff running through their blood.
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I’m sure you do, but whomever they become will be uniquely their own.
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Great post Jeff! I agree, there have been so many good things coming out of this situation. I am sure it is gorgeous up there in the summer and you probably don’t have to drive in 3 hour traffic to get there! It’s so packed in CO in the summer these days – maybe this summer will be different. I have never been much of a night-owl – I rarely stayed up past 12:00 in college. My mom always said nothing good happens after midnight – for some reason that was the only bit of advice I actually listened to.
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I like you mom’s quote. I should have heeded that advice. I can’t begin to count the number of bad things that happened after midnight. In a woodsy sort of way, this area is fantastic. Holds nothing compared to the rocky mountain views and the desert landscapes to your west. Yesterday, May 9, I almost stopped a run early because it was snowing so hard.
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Are you serious?? snow still? UGH. Though I am sure we will have another storm blow through before summer – we always do.
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Yeah, It’s weird. much nicer day today, but still in the low fifties on the mountain top I went biking on. At this point in May, I expect hot, humid days. We can’t even open up the house yet.
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Jeff, I couldn’t agree more with your blog posts and some of the conclusions you’ve had regarding the pandemic and your kids. I have experienced much of the same with 2 teens and a 20-year-old at my house. I am optimistic we will come out on the other side of this as better people, families, and I hope as a nation. Thanks for your post. Hope you are well. Barb
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Is this Barb from Mobe? My kids (and really all of society) have been more resilient than I expected. I have no doubt we’ll come out as better families. Beyond my quarantine-mates, I’ve greatly improved my relationship with my father via phone calls every couple of days. He’s quite bored and and I have a lot of time and we’re having much longer deeper discussions than we did prepandemic.
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I feel your pain!
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