Oh, pretty boy, can’t you show me nothing but surrender?
Why am I starting a story about Pink Floyd with a Patti Smith quote? Funny thing about this quote: from the first time I heard the Patti Smith song Land, probably around forty years ago, I thought she said, “Oh pity, boy, can’t you show me nothing but surrender?” In 2016, I even wrote that sentence on my bathroom mirror as part of my New Year resolution. Oh pity, boy… I was trying to shame myself into action. Worked, too. I got a lot of crap done in 2016. At some point since then, I figured out the proper lyric.
We saw him, Susan and me, we saw the pretty boy. He works at Michaels Art Supply store. I’ve never seen a boy so pretty. The skin, the hair, the eyelashes. A calm smile, a welcoming vibe. Skinny as a rail, like a pretty boy should be. He wore an open flannel over a Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt. You’ve seen the graphic. A laser beam enters a prism and exits an array of colors, a rainbow of light.
Susan needed to make a return. She bought a white wooden Welcome sign. She planned to paint it the colors of the Rainbow flag. I convinced her it would be more cost effective to just buy something already finished. We bought a flag online. They’re popping up all over my super-conservative town. The backlash has begun. The escalating discrimination against the LGBTQ community has mobilized even lazy folk like me. I need to stand in solidarity. I need to flip a middle finger in MAGA’s face. In today’s culture war, I hope to be a warrior.
As Susan made her return, I distracted the pretty boy. “Hey, I like your shirt.” He was flattered. Then I went on far too long for a sixty-year-old dude talking to a teenager. “In honor of Dark Side of the Moon’s fiftieth anniversary a couple of months ago, I listened to the album beginning to end. I haven’t done that since the eighties. God, it’s a great album!” I knew he would appreciate this comment, being a fan and all.
“Oh, I only know a couple of their songs.”
Predictably, once we got into the car, I ranted to Susan. “I don’t think you should be allowed to wear the t-shirt if you don’t know the band.”
Fifteen years ago, biking the loop around Gettysburg Battlefield, I saw a woman on the side of the road wearing a Ramones t-shirt. Because I was riding really slowly up a steep hill, I was able to have a brief conversation with her.
Me: “Gabba gabba hey!” It’s a Ramones lyric from the song Pinhead. When you see the Ramones in concert (which you don’t do anymore because they’re all dead), Joey Ramone walks off stage and comes back with a childishly drawn hand-made sign reading Gabba Gabba Hey. As they reach that part of the song, the audience shouts along.
Woman in the Ramones shirt: (Gives me a fearful look).
Woman in the Ramones shirt’s boyfriend: (super pissed off and ready to fight) “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?”
I spent the rest of my ride muttering to myself “Don’t wear the freaking shirt if you don’t know what gabba gabba hey means.”
Back to the pretty boy: Susan responded, “Maybe he just likes the shirt.” I don’t buy it. I don’t wear a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey just because I like black and gold. People build identities around things like bands and sports teams. Wearing someone else’s band shirt is cultural appropriation.
I own one band shirt. It’s for the Clash. I’m a Clash superfan. I know every song they’ve written, and I can sing along beginning to end with almost all of them. I even know which of their songs were written by someone else. When someone compliments me on my t-shirt, I’m the one ready to start the conversation. I deserve a Clash t-shirt.
I understand pretty boy’s Dark Side of the Moon t-shirt looked nice. He pulled it off well. If that album wasn’t so laden with decades-old confusing and conflicting memories stemming from all the poor choices I made during my college years, I might even want one.
As I plotted this post on a three-hour drive this afternoon, I decided to listen to the album again. Mind you, Pink Floyd isn’t necessarily the sort of music I generally listen to, but after hearing the album today, I think I can honestly say that side two of that LP—starting with the song Money through the end of the album—just might be the most masterfully crafted chunk of rock music ever recorded.
* A lyric from the song Brain Damage on side two of Dark Side of the Moon.
The Other Stuff 
Loved it.
That is what I think of it
I enjoyed reading this article and the author’s musings on band t-shirts and their meanings. It was both humorous and insightful.
Thanks, Ely Shemer
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Affiliations via T-shirts aren’t always what they seem to be, I guess. Btw, all of us in the LGBTQ community appreciate your visible support.
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I hope to do more. The rhetoric coming from some politicians is downright dangerous. First it was racism and antisemitism on the rise. Now it’s anti-LGBTQ. It’s really astounding what has happened in this country.
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Sadly, ignorance is running rampant. Even so, I try to remain hopeful, because I know there a lot of kind, empathic people in our country. Still, the erosion within our society is startling.
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All I would say is that not everyone knows the relationship between Pink Floyd and the iconic graphic. I didn’t, and I enjoy some of their music, although I wouldn’t consider myself a fan. As to the graphic itself, I would like to think that Pink Floyd would approve of its appropriation by Pretty Boy.
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Would Pink Floyd approve? See Neil’s comment below. Apparently, Robert Plant was miffed enough about it to bring it up in an interview.
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Thanks, man.
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Haha oh yes I agree some days. Robert Plant has a story of bumping into someone wearing a Zeppelin t shirt and having the same experience in that they had never heard the band. I agree you have to earn the shirt.
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I like your Robert Plant story. I’ll relay it to my son. He’s a big Zepplin fan. “Earn the shirt.” That’s sort of the sentiment in the running community towards people wearing race shirts for races they never did.
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The other part was they never recognized plant.
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The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And everyday the paperboy brings more…
I saw the Ramones back in 83. I have a few band shirts… one is a Led Zeppelin shirt, though I’ve only seen Robert Plant after Bonzo died and he went solo… do I meet the criteria?😂😂😂🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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Brain Damage has really pretty lyrics. Yes, I feel you can wear the shirt even if you didn’t see the band. ALL of Eli’s favorite bands broke up decades ago and half the musicians are dead. He’s still quite sincere in his fandom. I saw that Patti Smith is touring. I think I better go see her this time. Neither of us are getting any younger.
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You are a shocker Jeff Cann! And I say that knowing that it could easily be me saying to Z
‘I don’t think you should be allowed to wear the t-shirt if you don’t know the band’.
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My wife calls me a provocateur. My indignation is mostly tongue in cheek, but still, the whole thing seems wrong.
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I know
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I love the details you include that allow me into the scenes you create. And the turns (“Fifteen years ago . . .”; “Back to pretty boy . . .”) are wonderful.
I’m learning so much about good writing from reading your work!
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Thank you Georgia. You’re seeing things in my writing that I’m missing. I thought this story was a little heavy on telling and not enough showing.
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I think too much is made of the preference for showing over telling. And sometimes the distinction between the two is not clear.
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i’ve never owned a band shirt. i’m more of a solid white t.shirt kind of girl. but i like pretty boys! 🙂
and i very much enjoyed reading your story this morning, jeff!
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Thank you Linnie.
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Laughing hard at this part: “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?” Great post, Jeff. As a high school teacher, I began noticing a few years ago an increase in students wearing these vintage band tees. I was silently awed, like, “wow, to be so knowledgable and savvy at such a young age. the wonders of the internet.” But my partner (who teaches at the same school) tends to remark with insider references as you do, and this was how we learned that most of the wearers had no idea about the references on their chests. Then a year or so ago, I was with my teenage daughter in Target while she browsed t-shirts. And THEN I understood how it got to be such a thing. Or at least, developed a theory : )
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Thanks Stacey. A local department store has long carried “cool” band shirts, so I’m fairly used to the concept. It’s interesting to see what is considered cool though. A kid on my mountain bike team showed up in a Beastie Boys shirt. That one surprised me. I was thrown by the DSOTM shirt because it had just been in the news so much recently. I won’t be fooled again. (Classic rock band reference right there).
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Hah!
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Agree wholeheartedly. One must always earn the shirt! I once bought an INXS shirt in 6th grade because I liked the graphic, not knowing they were a band. When I wore it to school, my crush nodded at me in appreciation, and I had to stop wearing the shirt, knowing I’d never be able to back it up in conversation.
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So wise, even as a twelve year old. In one of the comments, I compared the band shirt thing to wearing a race shirt you didn’t race.
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YES. Oh that’s exactly the same!
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My husband is like this about the Grateful Dead. If he plays too much of the Dead, I play rap, he gets the message quick. One of friends bought us matching Dead shirts. I don’t do matching couple outfits. It looks good on our Golden.
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