Emotive Man

/ Jeff Cann

Against the gritty backdrop of Gotham, where evildoers lurk in shadowy alleyways and crime never takes a day off, one caped figure stands slouched, hunched with terrible posture on the tallest rooftops, watching over the city and its populace, feeling all the feels and swallowing all its pain: It’s Emotive Man.

Part 1 – The Crime:

“Help! Help!” The leggy blonde sat toppled and tangled in the gutter. She attracted undue attention even before the crime took place. Now a crowd of men, eager to help in any way, encircled her. Suddenly, in a spot that appeared empty just a moment before, stood a balding, bespectacled man with a slight build and a weak chin. Clad from ankle to neck in black spandex, he wore a yellow cape draped from his shoulders. A yellow capital E spanned most of his concave chest. His white Hoka walking shoes with extra thick soles negated any sleek or masculine image, however misguided, he intended to convey.

“Who the hell are you supposed to be?” The fury of the comment shot through his body like a wave, shocking many of his neural pathways simultaneously. His stomach churned, his heartrate spiked, his anxiety flared. The bleeding scuff on the woman’s knee throbbed beneath Emotive Man’s tights. The victim’s anger didn’t surprise E-Man. He accepted her venomous remark with a closed-lip smile as he bent down to offer her a hand. After all, she had just been knocked to the ground by a scruffy, emaciated man in a stained and tattered trench coat. The biggest surprise of the incident was how fast the perpetrator ran off with her purse. E-Man wondered if he ran track in high school.  

A murmur ran through the crowd. “Whoa, it’s Emotive Man!”

“Emotive Man?”

“Yes, Emotive Man!” A surge of pride at the awe he inspired in the crowd temporarily overwhelmed and paralyzed E-Man. This was a rewarding but annoying downside to his superpower of feeling the emotions of those around him. He paused with a faraway gaze and a toothy grin as the excitement of the bystanders built. Phones popped out. Everyone jostled for a better angle to film the scene.

Hey! Superhero! What the fuck?! You gonna help me up or what?

At that moment, two police officers pushed their way through the crowd. “Back off, cupcake, we got this.” One cop, the taller and broader of the two, grabbed the reinforced collar of E-Man’s costume where the cape attached to the rest of the outfit and lifted E-Man off the ground with one hand and set him to the side and out of the way. E-Man couldn’t decide which hurt worse, his shattered pride at being manhandled in front of his admirers and this beautiful victim, or the mixture of disdain and pity he sensed the police held for him.

The police officers gently helped the woman from the ground. While the big one took her statement, the other cop canvassed the crowd looking for witnesses. E-Man volunteered that he saw the whole thing, but the smaller officer, an intense and angry character, barked out a short dry “Ha!” E-man could tell that despite saying Ha, the cop found nothing funny about this caped figure before him. As the officer approached a group of men in suits, he mumbled something about cosplay and unreliable witnesses. Then he turned towards E-Man and shouted, “You, cape-boy, you better head back over to Comic Con before it closes for the day. The pure hate directed at him stung E-Man, and he wanted to return the rudeness. But Emotive Man held his tongue. He decided not to embarrass the cop by pointing out that Comic Con was next weekend.

…to be continued… (maybe, someday, we’ll see…)

Written to a writers’ group prompt: A superhero with a not-so-helpful superpower saves the day.

Photo by Jack S. on Pexels.com

19 thoughts on “Emotive Man”

    • Because it’s sort of a joke, I couldn’t believe I would keep plugging along with this story, and it was already as long as my typical blog posts, so I thought I’d just post it. At some point I’ll bring it to my writers’ group and those folk usually have some good suggestions on where a story can go next. I think to make it worthwhile I need to continue in a humorous vein while still making a serious point. I’ll need to mull that for a while. BTW, based on your comment that my father’s mysterious deathbed revelation would set up a good novel, I’ve actually fleshed out the outline of a plot. I probably won’t touch that until I retire, but it was really satisfying to come up with a fictional plot on my own. Thanks for your encouragement.

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      • I’m excited about how your novel will develop. I hope you’ll retire sooner rather than later so that you can devote yourself to your writing. (Here I am planning your life for you. Sorry.)

        Before I retired, I kept a file of plans and outlines that I call “Retirement Writing Projects.” Now, here I am, and here they are. I had an almost full-time online teaching schedule this fall, but I’m keeping the spring semester open for working on some of those retirement writing plans. That’s MY Project 2025.

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  2. I watched Captain Underpants with my grandson and damn if this doesn’t remind me of that movie. Poor C.U. didn’t have powers, but he did have uncanny and uncommon good luck on his side. Like things would happen by sheer luck and he’d think he caused it or it was a super power. If you want a good laugh, watch it.

    But back to this story. I think E Man is needed. We need someone to mirror exactly how we feel at times so we can see when we might be doing too much.

    My son calls it matching energy. If someone is being rude to him, he returns the favor but I think Emotive Man might be bigger than that. “Two wrongs don’t make a right but it sure feels good when you have nothing left.” Mmhm Lol I look forward to more EMan adventures.

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    • My son was a big CU fan. I didn’t know they made a movie. I’ll have to ask him about that. I try to avoid the matching energy thing. Whenever I ‘get into it’ with someone, it leaves me feeling terrible about myself afterwards. A couple of months ago, I got into a long email exchange with a newspaper columnist that quickly escalated. I remembered my vow to stop engaging like that and sent him a contrite apology email. I was really satisfied with the response he sent. Anger begets anger.

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  3. Really digging this, Jeff. Sort of reminds me of when I was a kid and I’d run around the house with a bath towel stuck in my shirt as a cape, screaming the Batman series theme song. Here’s hoping for Part 2. 😊

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  5. Heroes need to find problems that match their powers, which is why, as a general rule, Superman leaves the Joker to Batman and Batman leaves Bizzaro to Superman. Although I have to admit I do enjoy a good crossover. My favorite DC TV episodes are the crossovers between the “Arrowverse” and Supergirl.

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    • Hmmm, seems like I need to put a lot of thought into my villain. I’m not so studied in the world of superheroes, although this is now the second piece I’ve written about one. Perhaps it’s a hidden dream of mine. Marvel universe, here I come.

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      • So, I have been wanting to come back and clarify my earlier comment. But you know, I have been busy and pushed it off. Well, earlier today, I saw a little boy at the local Target store, wearing a homemade cape pinned to his shoulders. It looked like he used a small tablecloth—maybe? Anyhow, I am taking that as a sign that I needed to finally clarify my comment. I wrote my earlier comment in haste, and I am guessing that it might have sounded a bit “anti-men.” That was not my intent. After all, words matter, and mine were chosen poorly. The fictional character, Walter Mitty, came to mind as I read your story. I’m sure that you probably know, but Walter Mitty is a mild-mannered man, who imagines himself as various heroes. And that is what I meant. I am guessing that there are a lot of Walter Mitty-types out there (both male and female), who daydream about being heroes but who live very ordinary lives. Anyhow, I am in awe of the little boy in Target and give kudos to his parents for allowing him to dream. And kudos to you for writing something so fun (and touching) that it stayed with me well after I finished reading it.

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        • Well, regardless of your feelings, I tend to be a little anti-men myself. I Have a hard time relating to many (most?). I seriously doubt I will ‘finish’ E-Man. I had fun writing what I did, but to give it depth and a believable plot are more effort than I want to put into it given the topic. But I am curious whether he is a Walter Mitty or the real deal. I once saw a movie about a guy who believed he was a superhero, but he had a psychosis. I also applaud the parents that let their kids be themselves in public. To many people worry about ‘what the neighbors will think.’

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