Something small falls out of your mouth and we laugh.A prayer for something better, a prayer for something better. Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot! Seriously, WTAF??! This is my final earworm of 2020. Earworm? A song-clip, running on loop, invading my brain. I don't conjure these up, I don't put in a bid or request them from the … Continue reading A Prayer for Something Better
Chapter Break
It’s so easy to blame it all on the deep state. Or my doctor; or the universe. Myself? Someone’s to blame dammit. This can’t all be a coincidence. I’ve lived for fifty-eight years. Those have been healthy years, mostly. Yes, lots of surgeries, but those can be explained. The bike crash accounts for three of … Continue reading Chapter Break
Christmas Wrapping
Coy and coquette, those words pop into my mind when I remember the song I Know What Boys Like by the Waitresses. A one hit wonder, their claim to fame. A flame, a fizzle. It came out during my second year of college. An instant campus hit, I recall Meagan Heath, pretty, confident, unattainable, but … Continue reading Christmas Wrapping
Concise Book of Muscles
Susan dug out the Concise Book of Muscles this morning. As I limped around the house for the eighth consecutive day making short sucking sounds that mimic air being let out of a tire whenever I stepped wrong, I thought it might be a good idea to try to identify the issue. Last weekend, in … Continue reading Concise Book of Muscles
Dreaming Dark Thoughts
We’re living through dangerous times—I keep reading this. Isolating, lonely, dreaming dark thoughts. Degrading mental health. Well people become depressed, too much time alone, too much time in their heads. Extroverts. I feel for them, I do. Today my company gave me a Panera gift card. The money they would have spent on a holiday … Continue reading Dreaming Dark Thoughts
Viral
I went viral once. Three summers ago, I wrote a post; I’d rate it as fine. Not great, not memorable, the sort of post that two and a half years later, I doubt I would even remember writing. But because it went viral, I remember the circumstances well. In our tiny house in Culebra, Puerto … Continue reading Viral
Old Man Takes a Hit
Mid-day. Not even mid-afternoon, barely past lunch time. I’m done for the day. On the couch, feet up, ice-pack on my thigh, shallow breaths. As a mountain biker, injury is inevitable, part of the sport. I bought my bike fourteen months ago. Eli, one year in at that point, all but addicted, and needing a … Continue reading Old Man Takes a Hit
Disaster is Inevitable
And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars... Right here on this blog, Halloween night. I wrote of the coming election and the expected aftermath—at least my expectation. A Biden win, a Russian bot-campaign to foment distrust and hate among the American people. A stolen election! Widespread cheating! Elites staffing the polling places, … Continue reading Disaster is Inevitable
Lucky
Do you remember Google's “I’m Feeling Lucky” button? When Google launched in 1998, below the search bar there were two buttons. Both equally prominent, unless you think the right side is more prominent than the left, which I do because I’m right-handed, and then the Lucky button ruled the screen. The other button simply read … Continue reading Lucky
In the Garden of Eden, Baby
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfpn3wHoNGA In a gadda da vida, honeyDon't you know that I'm lovin' youIn a gadda da vida, babyDon't you know that I'll always be true… In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly, it came out in 1968. I was six. I’d like to postulate that as a precocious, headbanging child, I walked around my house flinging my mane … Continue reading In the Garden of Eden, Baby
B12 – Bingo?
1. There is no acute-appearing finding or abnormal enhancement.2. Mild global atrophy. I think this is good news. I don’t see my neurologist again until February, that’s a long time to wait. What if, instead, my MRI report read “What the hell is that?” Could I hold-out for a February appointment without going crazy? I … Continue reading B12 – Bingo?
Just Desserts
The best thing about eating pie for dinner is you can have another slice for dessert. Thanksgiving morning: Susan turned on the oven. Sophie’s still in bed, but awake. She planned to bake her cinnamon rolls this morning when she woke up. Last week, while facetiming from college, Sophie rattled off a list of treats … Continue reading Just Desserts
Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Click, Click, Click
Rhythms. Complex, repeating. LOUD. Like that Sonic Youth concert at the 9:30 Club back in 2002. So loud, my head spun—possibly the reason I wear hearing aids today. Music accompanies the patterns. Phantom music, it’s not really there, my brain fills it in behind the noise. “Squeeze ---- ball -- ---- ----- to rock.” “WHAT?” … Continue reading Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Click, Click, Click
Headaches
Like a vice tightening on the back of my head. That’s how I describe my headaches. Which headaches? All of them. I get my fair share, maybe a little more. Often enough to pay close attention to them. I know the causes. I know how to fix them. When I was a drinker—not the moderate … Continue reading Headaches
Feeling sort of Autumn
Some of the trees still have leaves. At least in my neighborhood. I’m not an arborist, I can scarcely tell a maple from an oak. Some of the trees are red, some are yellow. The rest are brown or bare. Saturday, Eli and I drove up the mountain to go mountain biking. Is it actually … Continue reading Feeling sort of Autumn
Obsession
Can you write a poem about a graph? Can you grab a column of numbers, distill them to their purest form, and use them to paint a picture? I’ve spent my career trying to make numbers seem interesting. My last three companies, all nonprofits, in reverse order: a library, a domestic violence shelter, a community … Continue reading Obsession
The sun rose in the middle of the night
Do you hear voices? I do, sometimes, as I fall asleep. My brain goes soft and conversations spring up, as though from another room. I can hear the voices, but not the words. People talking, not angry, not excited, matter of fact. As if they’re discussing the grocery list. This morning, four-thirty-two, like a radio … Continue reading The sun rose in the middle of the night
I shot a gun once
Fresh out of college, visiting my friend Mike, I told him how my radio died just as I drove into his driveway. I know you’re thinking car-radio, right? But no, I’m writing about a boombox. My brand, new car stereo was on the fritz. The prior Saturday, a different friend, one possessing the electronic know-how … Continue reading I shot a gun once
Later on, we’ll conspire
Today, I join the nut-cases. I hope our relationship survives, yours and mine. A couple of months ago I unfollowed a blogger. She wrote inventive poetry and gut-wrenching prose about her childhood spent with her physically abusive father. I counted her as one of my favorite blogging friends. But her blog became a steady stream … Continue reading Later on, we’ll conspire
Coach Jeff
I’ll call it a success. The mountain bike season ended last weekend with an outdoor pizza party on a chilly night. I can’t recall the last time I felt so cold. Maybe last March? Spring was pretty warm, plus during the lockdown I was always indoors. So yes, not cold since March. I didn’t like … Continue reading Coach Jeff