I shopped Black Friday once. Twenty-five years ago, my soon to be sister-in-law’s BFF hosted a wedding shower the day after Thanksgiving. A traditional thing, they invited no men. Susan and I, along with my future in-laws descended on a densely populated town outside New York City. Because White Plaines is the only such town … Continue reading Black Friday
Christmas
Viral
I went viral once. Three summers ago, I wrote a post; I’d rate it as fine. Not great, not memorable, the sort of post that two and a half years later, I doubt I would even remember writing. But because it went viral, I remember the circumstances well. In our tiny house in Culebra, Puerto … Continue reading Viral
MACH3 Turbo
How long does a razor blade last? Google this, but it’s hard to come up with an answer. First, I got dumped into a bunch of Reddit forums about a gaming computer called Razer Blade. It seems Razer Blades have a reputation for frequent breakdowns. After five minutes of reading about Razer Blade’s short shelf … Continue reading MACH3 Turbo
Happy Tourette Christmas
Hey! Chingedy ching, hee-haw, hee-haw It's Dominick the donkey. Chingedy ching, hee-haw, hee-haw The Italian Christmas donkey. Tourette Syndrome (TS) is a weird disorder. It makes you do things you don’t want to do. Yes, we’re all aware of the stereotyped guy who f-bombs in church, but he’s a pretty slim minority. Most of us … Continue reading Happy Tourette Christmas
The Christmas Tree, 2019
Another year, another Christmas post. For a non-Christian, I spend a lot of time each December writing about Christmas. We picked up our tree today. For the fourth year in a row, we drove out through the dormant apple orchards to Showers’ Tree Farm. We used to go to Seven Springs Tree Farm, closer to … Continue reading The Christmas Tree, 2019
Christmas Creep
Rockin' around the Christmas tree At the Christmas party hop Mistletoe hung where you can see Every couple tries to stop “Who doesn’t like Christmas music?” Eli asked me this on our donut run this morning. His friend John slept over, and they needed a breakfast of fat and sugar to start their day correctly. … Continue reading Christmas Creep
Appropriating Christmas
I grew up Christian. Not Evangelical, born-again, relationship-with-God Christian. I went to church, I attended Sunday school, but each week when I headed home for my Sunday lunch of sardine and onion sandwiches with my New York City father, I checked my faith at the chapel door. Being Christian was unimportant to me during the … Continue reading Appropriating Christmas
Violence
It’s the same fight every time. Once, twice per year, depending on how frequently we get together. Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. Fight is too strong a word. Argument; disagreement; squabble—one of those might be a better fit. These are the holidays that bring Susan’s family together. Her sister lives in Maine, her brother in Massachusetts. Susan’s … Continue reading Violence
Ben Huberman
I’m pathetic. No, really, I am. I’m checking my Gmail account twenty-five, thirty times a day. Each time, as I click the link, I repeat my silent mantra. Ben Huberman. Who’s Ben? He’s an editor at WordPress. The guy who sent me an email last July telling me that my blogpost Follow was about to … Continue reading Ben Huberman
A Christmas Carol
I just read Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol (again). Each December, as I browse the stacks of my local library, I see the same copy of the book placed strategically on the end of an aisle. Each aisle-end has three clear plastic shelves attached to it. In my opinion, these shelves come off looking extremely … Continue reading A Christmas Carol
Be the Light
Squandered! A whole year. A great idea, but poor follow-through. Eleven months ago, I invented a religion. Or resurrected a religion. Modified a religion. Whatever. I plotted a way for my non-Christian family to participate in the holiday season. Solstice Plus Four. A plan to take the winter solstice back from the Christians. We made … Continue reading Be the Light
Grinding my Axe
I’m trying something new. I’ve got an axe to grind, and I’ve never before used my blog to grind an axe. But I’ve got a platform, a readership—and I’m pissed. This is my opportunity to sway opinion, to reach a hundred, maybe two hundred people, to build a groundswell… against Sears. Picking up in the … Continue reading Grinding my Axe
Mr. Marks’ Christmas Dose
“Christmas? No, we’re not open on Christmas.” Adam turned away from the counter, trying to look distracted by a display of button batteries. “Well, I don’t like that at all. What if I miscalculate my pill supply? What if I drop them in the toilet? I did that once.” Mr. Marks unloaded his basket—One-A-Day vitamins, … Continue reading Mr. Marks’ Christmas Dose
The Hard Days
I had my last drink almost eleven months ago; I quit somewhere in the middle of last January. But I’m not sure exactly when. And yes, it’s ridiculous that I don’t know the date. I thought I did, but two or three weeks after I quit, I couldn’t remember if it was two or three … Continue reading The Hard Days
The Other Stuff 