Follow

/ Jeff Cann

When I hit follow, I mean it.

Many WordPress users follow blogs simply to get a follow back. To boost their numbers. I understand this. Because it happens to me so infrequently, getting a follower is like a small hit of crack. A rush.

Topping a milestone, 100, 200, etc, is something more. But I don’t really know what because it’s only happened to me once. A few months ago, I bypassed one hundred followers. And I’m now one away from two hundred.

I won’t trade for follows. I don’t want my reader filled with unreadable content. For the most part, I don’t want to read about travel or makeup or restaurants in a city I’m not planning to visit. I don’t want to read about books I’ll never read. Or movies I’m not going to watch.

I want to read about people. I want to read about goals, dreams, fears, foibles and achievements. I want to read about you. I want to read about real people blossoming and withering. Growing and shriveling. Experiencing life… and death.

I want to read dissent, opinion and point of view. But I don’t want to read about hate. Hate is for Facebook.

Today I unfollowed my first blog. A post offended me. It left me feeling dirty, stained, and wondering why—why would I voluntarily read something that is counter to my beliefs. It didn’t leave me feeling educated. It wasn’t challenging, just mean.

I’m not afraid of ugly. Many of the poets I follow paint a picture of the world that is black and red. Not beautiful, but a slap in the face. Screaming wake up. In their posts there is no hate, just truth.

Hate is for Facebook.

390 thoughts on “Follow”

  2. I opened my WordPress app with the intent of deleting my blog. Your post was the second on the feed and caught my eye. After reading it, I decided not to delete my blog, at least for now. I started mine in the throws of a psychiatric break. Crazed and tired of trying to hide it from everyone, I decided to put it all out there. Now, I’m on the neutral zone… not relentlessly energetic where the words need to come out, and not in the throws of depression where I can let out the negativity safely. Tonight my mood crashed. I wondered why I even started the damn thing because I have nothing to say. Reading your part about wanting to hear about people and experiences made me feel like starting it had a reason, and maybe what feels pointless right now won’t on another day. Thanks for that.

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  5. This was well written. I feel the same way. I’m so over hate. I write about struggle and coming back. I hate hate all it does is shrivel your insides

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  6. I just started my blog tonight. I must say, I was worried that this would be too akin to social media for the connections I’m trying to nurture. This was just what I needed to hear, thank you for posting 😊

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  7. I am very new to the blogging world myself. I have had my WordPress account for several years but have not kept up with it until very recently. I have less than 15 followers and do not care to gain followers just so I will follow them back. I have a voice, an opinion and I want to share that with people. I want my experiences to mean something. My writing to be interesting to others. If people are just following me without reading my content it is like a slap in the face. They are basically stating that what I say has no value. So, I agree with you. Thank you for stating this opinion and letting me know I am not alone in this way of thinking.

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  11. Exactly. I get sad sometimes seeing blogs doing well (by which I mean attracting lots of followers) which I think are nothingy and written to get clicks. Is that really terrible? Maybe it’s just that I’m not personally getting any connection or depth from them, but other people are. Each to their own I guess. Maybe it’s just about finding your people, not necessarily people who you totally agree with, but who engage with the world in the same way. Who want to get deep? Definitely when I’ve written these kind of posts they seem to connect with people much more than non-personal stuff that I think is interesting. It’s terrifying pressing publish on that stuff though, which is maybe why I don’t do it more.

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  14. So I am kinda new to blogging. I was going to post a link to my latest blog in this section asking for people’s opinions and critics, but after reading this and going through most of the comments, I think I have learned something new about why and how people should tell their stories. I guess I now have so much editing and re-thinking to do. Thank you so much for this!

    If and when you can kindly go visit my site; http://www.timoballa.wordpress.com. Help point out some of the mistakes in my kind of posts. Thanks in advance!

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  15. Well as for me, I really scout for the personal ones. I hardly read fiction in wordpress. Although I’ve got a few of fiction bloggers in my bucket. I would know by the tone of first few lines if I would keep the blog or not. I mostly just follow the ones who 1.) has a very interesting narrative… funny, witty, genuine, straightforward and hardcore personal- no filters, something that makes you feel 2.) the ones who I interact with; mostly the ones who finds time to leave me a message. It feels good to build friendship around here. When you get to know the genuine ones that reads your blog, you also tend to somehow get interested in their lives. This is what a like for a like should be like. It should be free, not forced.

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    • I agree. Like opening a book at the library, I can usually tell immediately if I’m going to connect with a blog. I feel closer to some of my blogging friends than the people I see in real life.

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  18. I had started blogging a year ago…and have seven followers to be honest…!!!
    Each one of the blog that I have written comes straight from my heart…💗
    Writing, rewriting, Editing, editing again and the final draft..
    The process is same..
    The amount of effort I put in is same…
    The amount of joy it gives (though it cannot be quantified) is same..
    So ultimately the number of followers and followings don’t determine who you are or what you write…
    Its about what content you wish to invest your time in…and what content you wish to provide to anyone who is going to invest the next few minutes browsing your profile!!

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  22. > Today I unfollowed my first blog. A post offended me.

    Hi,
    I’m curious about this statement. Does that single post from the blog offended you or the blog as a whole offended you?

    I asking because I have been thinking about this myself. There are times when a blog that I followed writes about a matter that I cares a lot but they have an opposite view. While I disliked it, it also gave me an opposing view.

    There are thoughts to unfollow but I kept it around to keep myself balanced.

    I’m wondering for that statement you write was in a similar situation 🙂

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    • This was more in the realm of repeated racist and sexist themes. I followed because the blogger had an interesting and distinctive style, but I could only give him so many passes. I kind of like it when a blogger pushes my boundaries, but courteousness matters.

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  24. I completely understand where you come from. Reading about people is so much more interesting than lifestyle, travel etc. I am also not interested in superficial posts. We already have Instagram for that.

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  25. Even though I’m relatively new to blogging, I understand this. I follow very few blogs and I myself have very few followers because I didn’t follow back the people who I Guess only followed me for one in return. And I personally don’t want to blog just for views or likes, however gratifying they are. I started blogging because I enjoy doing it and I don’t need to follow people who only follow me for one in return. I only follow the blogs which I actually like and want to read. I don’t want actual good blogs which I follow to get lost in a blizzard of totally unnecessary blogs which only spread hate. Totally agree and love this post

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  28. A few days ago, I unfollowed my first follower too. He went by the same rule: a follow for a follow. I didn’t find his posts up to my liking but I was adamant on following his blog forever because I felt I owe it to him. But then, it struck me that it won’t matter if I don’t follow him. He has too many followers to be bothered about it. And if I feel as grateful to him I could acknowledge his kindness in one of my posts. And so, I took the Big Step.

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    • Well done. I think it’s really hard to fade away from the first batch of blogs you follow. It’s almost like severing a childhood relationship–OK that may be overstating, but you get the point.

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      • But it does kind of feel like that. As if I am breaking someone’s trust. But( should not state this) it feels pretty good, now that my reader has got the stuff which I like.
        Nice post. Relatable. It feels good to come across this post…to know that I am not the only one who feels that way.

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  29. So glad you shared this! It’s nice to read blogs that share a genuine sense of the writer’s real life. I do believe that people have a right to their own opinions but I find it unfortunate that some people waste their time and energy hating others. It’s an illness I believe. And to take that hate and share it publicly is also indicative of their true instability and lack of love. Growing up I learned that there were people who hate me simply for the pigmentation in the flesh around my bones. When I come across these people, I don’t hate them back but I do feel sorry for what they lack.

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    • Growing up in London England as young child was awesome for me, but then things changed I changed, I was 17 when I left home, and live in a hostel for a while, I worked in an office and I worked for Underwood Chemist, to be honest it great fun and I dreams and aspirations of becoming a fiction writer,
      I am also of colour black women, my parents weren’t able to show me love or tell me that am beautiful and fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalms 139 that is God talks about his sons and daughters.

      I now tell my daughter age 24 and 17 the same thing.
      You are beautiful

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  30. I do understand this rush for followers and i admire your attitude to be meaningful and reasonable through the process to simplynfollow a blog because you would want to read it is respecting the talentbof the person who puts their efforts , thought and time to create it. It is not only being fair to yourself but honoring and truly admiring their skills.
    I’m sharing a link of my blog and request you all to follownif you think you belive in what i write and are willing to give your time to read it and guide me
    https://aroundtheworldinthecouch.wordpress.com

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  35. Follow for follow, subscribe for subscribe. It works like that everywhere, WordPress is no exception. Youtube, Instagram, etc… However, I don’t think it’s all that bad from the point of view of the blogger since you do need to somehow show your stuff to the public, whether your content is rubbish or pure brilliant. Even the famous people once performed in front of their first audience.

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    • True, it’s everywhere, but I think I’m willing to *sacrifice* followers to only follow those whose blogs interest me. I traded like that on Facebook, and then I stopped using facebook. Too much garbage (oh, and hate).

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  36. Reading beautiful stuff is but my interest and especially if something deals with worthy blossoms it actually catches my attention and I love to follow such writings. Keep sharing good pieces… Too meaningful…

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  37. Finally , every time my blog comes up in a conversation everyone expects it to be about some industrial issue like beauty and stuff ,well it is not and it is never easy to explain to them that it is just to connect ,to share life’s simplicity to tell someone out there possibly like minded that no,they are not alone .

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    • That’s interesting, I’ve never had anyone make that sort of assumption about my blog. Usually when I mention it, the conversations swerves in a different direction. They’re probably scared I expect them to read it.

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      • That happens too ,but you can not blame them this days everyone is selling something.
        I bet they are just being stereotypical or simply they have seen too many blogs about such

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  38. While we can’t really blame people for following blogs just for a follow back, it’d be nice if they actually followed because they liked the content and it rang home for them or even opened up a mirror for them. I’m a new blogger but I hope that whoever reads my blog reads it because they like it. Period.

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  40. This is so true! I don’t follow a blog just for followers. If it intrigues me, makes me feel alive, or laugh. I’m all in!

    Unhiddentruthblog.wordpress.com

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  42. If you have a unique story or a unique perspective, if mundane somehow inspires you, or inspiration was caused by extraordinary events, and you can write, I mean literally write, surely you don’t need to play those games. I always imagined people wrote because it is often seems the only plausible way to make sense of the world sometimes. Perhaps that is not the motive for everyone.

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  45. Love love love this post! It can be easy to fall into the social media culture of follow for follow and like for like. But I came to wordpress for so much more than obligatory likes and follows. I came here to be heard and to hear. To share, to listen, to disagree, to gain wisdom, to feel, and understand new perspectives. I came for community. Thank you for this post!

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  47. Touching.
    My interests in blogs tend to follow the random rabbit trails, always on the lookout for interesting material. I’ll follow blogs I think might fulfill this curiosity. And then I wonder why I have so many bizarre posts in my Reader tab.

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    • I have lots of older running content. I’ve taken a break from serious running this year, so I’ve also taken a break from running stories. I hope to start both back up soon.

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  51. Hi Jeff

    This year am taking it slow on Scrib, writing, editing, blogging. Wisdom comes slowly, as I posted chapter one of what I thought was pretty polished. Hanging head after a thorough critique, I get to start that lil process again. Feels like my first novel. Since after a half million drafts, my critiquer said, good for a first draft LOL. Back to my drawing board. I’d rather write than edit, and edit rather than Scrib critiquing, too.

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  56. So many of us, not just on WordPress, but on social media platforms everywhere, put too much focus on the statistics. I really liked your honesty and straightforward views in this post. In this cyberworld where it’s all about the numbers game apparently, it’s refreshing to see that there are those who still praise quality content and meaningful connections above all else 🙂

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  57. Thank you for an honest post! I completely agree when you follow someone it should be because you genuinely want to follow their journey on their blog, not because you expect something in return. “Liking” posts to receive attention to your blog is one way of building readership, but to follow someone just because you want to increase your numbers isn’t worth it.

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  58. Sometimes it feels like “follow” and “being followed” is/are some form of social currency and that if you haven’t got many followers you must be of lesser value, I wonder if there is some secret to getting thousands of followers. I prefer a kinder form of reciprocity, if someone has liked something of mine and I haven’t come across them before I go and have a look at what they are writing. Ultimately I enjoy the social aspects of blogging, the challenge of some groups and the knowledge that a supportive community is indeed prepared to read what I have written and reflect on it. I think these are perhaps more important than the follows. XX

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  59. For a relatively short post you said a mouthful. Sorry for the cliche. I feel the same way. I wonder sometimes how in the world I thought it was a good idea to follow a certain person after I read hate and negativity and so much bad language I want to scream, “Can’t you talk without all the profanity?” So, like you, I’m on a quest to find people stories. Universal issues and humor. Sensitivity. Kind-hearted folks.

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  60. Thank you for helping me make the best decision about following to be followed! Being new at this, just getting the hang of what can be a help in some way to others, I wondered about the ‘following game’. Thanks for your transparency.

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  61. Great Post as always Jeff! I never understand the whole ‘Follow me- I follow you’ thing. I always want to follow for content that I am interested in- and I am sorry when people choose to follow me but then unfollow simply because I did not ‘follow them back’. My writing is what is important to me- and while it is exciting to have people who enjoy your content- the numbers are just numbers. P.S. It’s been a bit since we have chatted! I hope all is well! 🙂

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  62. I am grateful to WP Discover for this post. I feel exactly the way you do. I follow too much and for what reason? I don’t know. I’ve started removing blogs from my reader now. I’ve cancelled subscriptions to newsletters and minimised the clutter in my inbox. If you are there in my radar, it’s because I want you there.

    Thank you for this post. Thank you for the honesty.

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  63. This was really great!

    I’ve been blogging a few months now and I gotta say, I was surprised to see people “follow for follow.” It has been helpful in some ways in that I look their site over and maybe some of the blogs of people who follow them. I’ve found some great bloggers that way. But, like you said, following sites that don’t relate to me at all is pointless. Before I make that decision, I check out several of their posts though to get a real feel of what the site is about. I know for me, I blog about a variety of stuff on different days: recipes, DIY, motherhood, hiking…someone (like you perhaps) may check out my blog and see, oh she’s a mom. This isn’t for me. But, maybe you’re a hiker and would enjoy my hiking posts every Thursday. I tried to plan it out so that certain themes are on certain days so that people that are only interested in one part of my blog know to check it out on those particular days.

    I definitely don’t follow negative people-even if they follow me. There was a page I had started following and it was all negative politics which is just depressing to me. Let’s just say, I don’t follow them any more.

    You have inspired me to make blog follows more personal. I think it will help me grow as a person, and that’s what blogging is all about-for me anyway. Thank you for your post!

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  64. You have filled this article with motivating words. It is like the blogging industry are slowly turning into a marketing arena, though not all. This is a fantastic reminder that bloggers ought to have a realistic mindset of expressing self in a way of connecting with others in thoughts and emotion.

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  65. I understand what you mean, brother Jeff. 🙂 I, too, had experienced the same thing and I had to ‘unfollow’ some sites that just didn’t show much positivity and were being mega negative. It did not sit well within my spirit, but at the same time, I still have to support and show them God’s Love. It’s true that some sites, or blogs, may not be “accepting” of God’s Word…and that’s okay. Whatever your heart is good and comfortable with reading, that’s the awesome thing. It quotes in Matthew 10:13 (NIV) that “If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you.” I may be hated by someone or have a difference of opinion than my brothers and sisters, in Christ, but I will continue to show them love and support. Stay strong.

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  67. I’m relatively new to WordPress although I wrote my first blog months ago. Before I started my blog hadn’t heard of WordPress and in the last months I just focused on writing and I could keep on writing months without bothering on Follows. I think I don’t have any and you are my first follow 😄! It’s not that I don’t want to read interesting personal blogs, however it is hard to find the one’s that interest me. If I use my laptop I cannot even find the blogs of others in WordPress, I only see those via my mobile. Any recommendations for interesting blogs?

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    • In the wordpress reader, you can type in key words to search tags. If you’re interested in grilling, just type that in and you’ll find lots of content about grilling. I’ve found many of my blogs this way. Also, my about page has a list of a few that I follow. Not sure if you’ll like any of them, but they are all well written. But my list of blogs I follow is far more extensive.

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  69. “I want to read about real people blossoming and withering. Growing and shriveling. Experiencing life… and death”

    “Today I unfollowed my first blog. A post offended me. It left me feeling dirty, stained, and wondering why—why would I voluntarily read something that is counter to my beliefs. It didn’t leave me feeling educated. It wasn’t challenging, just mean.”

    Isn’t meanness part of growing and shriveling, life and death?

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    • No, the content was unenlightened and racist. I felt I had nothing to gain. As an example, I follow several Christian bloggers (I’m not Christian) but I appreciate their perspective and I learn a lot by reading them.

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  70. Oh mercy – I never follow anyone – not anymore – I just go visiting when I feel like it – same on instagram – Facebook is very Tuesday – I am seldom on there now. I admire your succinct take on the matter. To the point. Plus the comments today were across the spectrum – almost AS entertaining. Hate seems to be breeding on the interwebs – I find it interesting. Hate is like pus – it will find a way out or kill you but on its way it kills everything else. Nasty stuff – hate – very shortsighted. Pus is nasty too I guess. And on that delightful note, have a great day. c

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  71. I agree. I recently came upon a quote from a fellow blogger. She said writing needs to be for me and the bonus is that others will want to read it. I think this is something that we need to remember. I enjoy sharing tips and techniques to control clutter in your life but more importantly, I write for me. I have a tribe of followers who I connect with on a personal level.

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  73. This was so inspiring (and pretty brave of you to write, too!). I really appreciate your honesty in this post. I feel like everyone is obsessed with followers, but it’s so backwards because sometimes the best writers have few followers, while many other blogs which I personally see as nothing extraordinary have stats jumping off the charts. Sometimes the best things in life are underrated; I actually think that’s what makes them special. Like you, when I started my blog, my intention wasn’t to become popular or gain a large following. I simply just wanted a forum where I can share my beliefs, suggestions and ideas regarding nutrition since that’s what I’m passionate about. It’s amazing when others want to read my thoughts, but even if they don’t, I’m still going to continue to write. I also try to post information that is individual, pertaining only to me/my own insights, because otherwise what would be the point of having a personal blog? People can search up facts online; they don’t need me to spit out information.
    Anyways, you are welcome to check out my blog, The Artsy Palate (but of course, you’re just as welcome to not check it out – I also don’t think “follow for follow” is a great approach). I am a college student and I post healthy recipes and tips for how to eat healthfully as a student.
    https://theartsypalate.wordpress.com/
    Thanks for writing this genuine piece!

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  74. Reading about people, opinion, their life and challenges pulls me in. It’s why I read this post. I wanted to know what you thought about the “follow” obsession. I tend to follow people back for following me. But you are right, I don’t want to read about the latests gossip news in hollywood or fashionable clothing lines for men. So why follow back? Ugh. Self-reflection time! Thanks for writing.

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