Messy

My public self:
confident, controlled, together.
And then I blog:
vulnerable, messy, confused.
Tourette Syndrome.
The tics I suppress with medications,
mostly:
Thigh-punching.
Eye-rolling.
Body-scratching.
Tooth-scraping.
Grunting.
Pay attention, you see them,
hear them.
I lack repose.
Always moving, twitching.
My brain in motion, fueled by anxiety.
By obsession. By worry.
Those conditions that accompany Tourettes,
they continue despite the medications.
Untreated, unstoppable.
Unbearable.

One thought on “Messy

  1. With my hand to my chest as if I had to keep my heart from falling out, my face laced with salty dampness and my ears being crooned by the loud and wonderful existence of you! I was so touched by this.

    You’re amazing for sharing, for daring, for being… you.

    I’m totally such a fan of yours. You are truly… a rock star!

    Liked by 4 people

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