Gabby Petito, remember her? I read in an article yesterday that her parents just settled an emotional distress lawsuit against the parents of Brian Laundrie, Gabby’s presumed, but never tried killer. It left me wondering: to what end. What do Gabby’s parents hope to gain from this lawsuit? Cash? Punishment for the Laundries, who had already heard from their son that Gabby was dead even as they made public comments hoping for her safe return? Their case, their award won’t bring back their daughter, and it’s dragged out the acuteness of their pain for two and a half more years. I guess if I were really interested, I could probably find articles explaining their motivation, but instead, reading that article has prompted me to think about my own lawsuit.
In 1997, I won a lawsuit against the driver of the van I collided with while riding my bike to work. Or really, I should say I won the suit against the driver’s insurer. I told my attorney that I didn’t want the suit to exceed policy limits, because I held no animosity towards the driver, except that I was disappointed that I never heard from him during the week I spent in the hospital, or ever after. I suppose his attorney told him not to contact me.
So what, exactly, was *I* looking for from a settlement? I guess cash. I needed to replace my bike and riding gear that were destroyed in the crash. I think I was also looking to somehow be compensated for enduring the most distressing and painful year of my life. Maybe that’s what Gabby’s parents need too. My $90,000 award was split three ways: $30,000 for the attorney, $40,000 to my insurance company to cover my medical bills, and I got $20,000 for my pain and suffering, or maybe to cover any lingering medical issues in the future.
$20,000 seemed like a lot of money at the time, and it helped Susan and me put a down payment on our first house. But looking at this amount through the lens of my life, I now know that $20,000 is woefully inadequate.
I’ve never tallied up my personal medical expenses from the injuries I incurred, but from reading this list, you’ll get a feel for the extensiveness of it all. I had medical insurance to cover these appointments and procedures, but man, copays and deductibles are a bitch.
- My initial hospital stay included emergency abdominal surgery, CAT scans and ICU care.
- Surgery to repair the separated AC joint in my shoulder.
- Six months of orthopedic rehab.
- Therapy for PTSD.
- Two separate eye surgeries for progressively worsening double vision.
- Countless ophthalmology appointments and replacement glasses as my double vision continually increased between surgeries.
- New hearing aids every three to four years.
- Some sort of invasive neck/spine procedure trying to determine why I couldn’t turn my head.
- Brain MRI and EEG trying to determine the cause of my weird brain behavior.
- Return of my childhood Tourette symptoms and countless associated doctor appointments.
- Repeated intercostal (between the ribs) muscle strains where chest tubes were inserted due to a collapsed lung (recovering from one now). No medical attention associated with these strains, but god, they hurt like hell.
Seven months after my last eye surgery, my vision is already doubling up again. I can’t really express my frustration. Sometimes I find it weirdly humorous in a resigned, ironic sort of way. Other times I seethe. When I’m in seething-mode, I want to sue someone… again. I want someone to be responsible and pay for this bad thing that keeps happening to me. Yes, my vision will still be double, but I’ll have bank, and I guess validation that it’s someone’s fault and not my own. Lawsuit! It seems so American. Is this our national response to bad news? Or is it only mine?
There’s no one to sue. When I first met with the eye surgeon, he cautioned me that this could happen. My double vision problem, he said, might be a brain deficiency, not an eye alignment problem. Yes, misalignment is the symptom, but it’s possible the root cause is my crash-addled brain. Susan frequently reminds me that ongoing medical issues is a small price to pay for living through the crash.
Back to Gabby’s parents: I hope their successful lawsuit snaps a door shut on this terrible section of their life. The thought of losing a child in such a senseless fashion is hard for me to fathom, and it strikes me as the sort of scenario someone might what-if until their deathbed. I’ve frequently second-guessed several aspects of my own life: alcohol abuse, my lackadaisical performance in college, and of course that bike crash. I wonder how things might have played out with some better, or at least different, decisions?
Those what-ifs and second-guesses might be like those lawsuits I wrote about: what am I ultimately looking for? Does dwelling on the bad do anything productive for me, or is it just a perverse self-gratification technique to keep me trapped in a past I’d be wise to let go?
Read Different Lives for a fictionalized account of my bicycle accident and the medical intervention afterwards.
The Other Stuff 
This is tough. Your record shows that you burnt through $20k a while back. The ongoing upkeep must be trying at times. The thinness of the compensation going to the victim speaks to the problem of getting justice too.
As to Gabby’s parents and the Laundrie’s, that is a provocative case. From this physical and cultural distance, it looks to be important because it might make people think more about gun control. I hope so because I doubt the payout will make them feel much better, although I hope for that too.
We in Australia find it hard to comprehend US attitudes about two things: Guns and Medicare.
I suspect many ordinary north american citizens are not happy about national gun control laws but are cowed by the NRA (?) and bullying by fellow travellers.
As to MediCare, it’s even under attack here, with rumours that our right wing political parties are talking to private health and health insurance companies in the USA about how to reform our system to their advantage. Bastards!
Sorry about that outburst.
Also not happy to hear that your personal troubles continue. It’s no compensation to you Jeff, but knowing what you are struggling with at the moment more than quadruples (90000/20000) the value of the likes and comments you leave when you read my stuff.
Be well and do good my friend.
DD
LikeLiked by 1 person
According to polls, a majority of Americans want stricter gun control laws, but many won’t vote for democrats due to other social issues. People here really don’t seem to associate the politician with the policies. Many Trump voters are appalled with the US abortion ruling, even though trump was completely transparent about who he would appoint to the supreme court if elected. We’re not a very bright electorate.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are not necessarily alone in that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s difficult to put a dollar amount on the cumulative effect of your physical and emotional pain. But, as I read this Jeff, the $20,000 you received as compensation for your injuries, etc doesn’t feel like nearly enough. Even so, I hope that somehow you are able to move past this and find resolution. 🙏
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Mark.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess for many people, a little extra cash from a suit helps to ease the lingering pain and suffering… I can’t even imagine.
I hope you feel better soon, if that means anything. It would be nice to have a break from the PTSD and related trauma…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now, I’m sort of wondering if anyone has ever done a study on the effects of such lawsuits after wrongful death cases. I wonder if it does help a person heal?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been whining to myself about the residual pain and challenges I’ve been having following my health incident in November. Reading about what you have been through prompts me to put it all in perspective. I need to shut up and get back to work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I’m still being a big baby about my carpal tunnel surgery from last fall, so don’t feel bad. Right now, other than the vision thing, nothing is really bothering me, and I’m sorry to say I’m pretty accustomed to having double vision, so I can deal with that for now until I can see an ophthalmologist in mid March. Keep healing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Zooks, man. Not what I expected when I started this read. Here’s hoping the phenomenal ability of the human brain to recover from injury holds for you. Agree America is the McDonalds’s Hot Coffee suit society. Don’t blame that on people seeking legitimate redress, but on the lunacy of the size of monetary recovery awards today. So many seeing “easy money” become opportunists taking advantage of a broken system. That both escalates the problem and makes difficulty for legitimate claims. Press on, sir.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Unfortunately, my brain issues seem to be speeding up as I age. I thought long and hard about the judgmental aspect of this post and only decided to publish it because my finger was pointing back at myself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t think I agree at all with your “finger point.”
LikeLike
You did an excellent job summing up the societal jump to lawsuits. I think some people are motivated by the cash, and others want to inflict pain in the only way they can. A lawsuit is the only legal way someone can say “I want you to feel the pain you caused me”🤷🏼♀️ I doubt it really helps to ease the pain though.
On a side note, thank you again for naming the intercostal muscles. I must have weak ones, because I’m forever straining them, and it DOES hurt!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooph. I’ve just gotten over one of these strains that took me out of action for two weeks. They are such a pain in the ass. “I want you to feel the pain you caused me” Yes, I think that gets to the heart of it for many people. Of course there are those making a cash grab too.
LikeLike
prob just me, but there’s no way i’d want anything from the family that was in any way involved with the murder of my kid. it would be like inviting them into my personal space– not gonna do it.
as to today’s lawsuits in the USA– i truly believe that Americans are taught or encouraged to sue when/if they feel “wronged” in any way. and i think it’s getting worse. and scary.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with all of this. When my kids were young, it wasn’t unusual to hear one of their friends say “I’m going to sue you.” I think it’s ingrained in our culture now. In my last job working at a Y (childcare/fitness center), people approached us all the time looking for settlements. It’s who we are. As I said in my essay, it’s my knee jerk response until I think “Why?” Why does a lawsuit make sense.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The measure of a man is his ability to recover from devastating setbacks — including accidents, it seems. Your recovery is a testament to your willpower, and your hardiness against life’s travails. Congrats.
Come visit my website, and leave some comments, if you like
http://www.catxman.wordpress.com
LikeLike
Back again. Just musing … maybe the accident was a partial blessing in disguise? If it made you tougher, stronger, more able to deal with crap … Who knows? Maybe the whole point of life is to prevail against the bullshit the universe throws at us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If it’s a blessing, it’s a pretty outstanding disguise. It’s been a really long road with lots of frustration along the way. My wife is pretty sick of doing the heavy lifting around my house because I’m always injured.
LikeLike