A Novel Idea

/ Jeff Cann

That proverbial clean slate.

Everything is going to change. No, this isn’t about the Charlie Kirk killing and the impending civil war I contend has already started. And no, it’s not a nod to the YA novel The Maze Runner when the Gladers find Teresa in the box, and she cryptically blurts out this line. This is about my life, my hobby, my blog. It’s going to change. It started to yesterday.

Almost a year ago, Susan and I sat with my father as he slowly died of heart failure. Each day, his condition worsened. The entirety of our last day with him, he was mostly incoherent. Around seven o’clock, with the outside light fading into night, with Susan and I preparing for our ninety-minute drive home, my father became suddenly lucid. We talked a bit about what comes next after we die. He affirmed that he lived a great and satisfying life. And he dropped this bomb: “I made a mistake. I made a mistake with the kids. Jeffrey…” He fell silent.

I tried to prompt him: “What mistake, Dad? What do you mean?” He fell asleep, and we drove home. My father died later that night. I never learned what mistake he made, but my mind has thrown together a variety of possibilities. Sounds like something out of a mystery novel, right?

Like most writers, I read. Not as much as I used to, but still, a fair amount. Besides news and op eds and blog posts, I primarily read novels. Many times, in the middle of a good book, I’ll think ‘this is a great plot, where do authors get these ideas?’ I’ve had a lifelong block against writing fiction. That doesn’t mean I’ve never done it, I have a handful of times, but it’s always a thinly veiled version of my own life. And while I’ve published two novella length memoirs, the almost fiction stories I’ve written are mostly flash and never longer than short. Certainly nothing that could be expanded into a book. Novel writing just wasn’t in my cards.

Until now.

I’m getting up there in years. OK, I’m about to turn sixty-three, not so old, but both of my brothers retired by my age. I’ve never felt ready. When I take an unstructured day off work, I tend to laze around all day, and at four in the afternoon, guilt drives me to lace up my shoes and run a few miles.

“Hey Jeff, what did you do on your day off?”

“Uh, went for a run?” I envisioned my future retirement just sitting on the couch all day poking at the CNN and New York Times websites.

Susan thinks I deserve to retire. “Well, you could write.” A lofty goal for someone who comes up with an essay topic every eight or nine days. But over the past year, that last exchange Susan and I had with my father has gelled into a surprisingly interesting plot and the skeletons of some engaging characters. It feels like a book length work of fiction. I plan to write a novel. I’ve even given it the working title of Half.*

No, I’m not retiring just yet, but I’m currently rearranging my life to work less hours. I plan to free-up four mornings each week to write my story. I’ve subscribed to a podcast series called Deep Dive, in which some of our best contemporary authors offer advice on how to approach this all-consuming task. I understand it will be difficult, frustrating and at times painful, but I also hope to have fun. I started writing yesterday. I was terrified and exhilarated, simultaneously thinking “I can do this! and “No I can’t!”  

So where does this leave us? I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll still feel the urge to write and read blogposts, but maybe I won’t. I don’t want to be one of those bloggers who simply disappears one day leaving everyone to wonder if I died. So, goodbye? I doubt it, but I hope to see you much less, because I’m supposed to be writing Half and not essays for WordPress. But ultimately, I’m going to write what feels right, so maybe I’m not going anywhere (this essay right here an obvious lesson in procrastination). Regardless, wish me the luck that I, in turn, wish each of you.  

Peace.

*Half will not be the title of a book I write. The story has filled out and morphed from when I started thinking of it as Half. But rather than continually changing the title of my project as it grows and matures, this name serves as a useful placeholder.   

Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

38 thoughts on “A Novel Idea”

  2. I’m so happy to learn this that I can hardly contain myself! On the other hand, you are one of my favorite writers and I look forward to you blog posts, so I feel a little sad. But I am largely in the same position right now–choosing between writing short pieces on three different platforms or finally plunging into the book projects that I know I will grieve over if I never write them. I understand it might be a dilemma.

    You will keep us posted, won’t you? You will post at least occasionally to let us know you’re making progress? Give us your insights about the creative process, the struggles, the victories?

    Best, best, best wishes on your project! I know you CAN do it!

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    • Well, first, I can’t believe I won’t want to write CNF from time to time, so I’ll post for sure but if things are going well, probably much less than now (which is my slowest pace since I started writing). Second, I was hoping I could stay in touch with you and bounce ideas off of you from time to time. I Sort of feel like this is all your fault. You’re the one who said I should take this event and turn it into a book prompt.

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  3. That’s fantastic! (Not that you might be here less, but that you have such a consuming idea that it’s WANTING to be written.) I wish you all the very best with your project and your new pace of life. You strike me as a person who has worked hard to get where you are, and someone who doesn’t make frivolous changes. I’ll enjoy whatever updates you post, or any further “regular” blog posts you have to share.

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    • Thank you Damian. I’m sure I’ll be around more than I’ve let on. I was just out for a bike ride and I came back with two blog post topics kicking around in my brain. It’s going to be hard to stay focused on Half.

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  5. I wanted you to know that from here in England I have enjoyed reading ‘The Other Stuff.’

    I have just had my 81st birthday and saw an attractive t-shirt showing a pile of books and the words, ‘so many books, so little time,’ and I realised that that is exactly where I am at. Each time I downsized I got rid of lots of books but somehow others take their place, so that t-shirt really resonated with me as I will be gutted to pass with unread books on my bookshelves and in my kindle. When the world around you is falling apart you can always rely on music and books.

    Good luck and best wishes.

    Margaret M.

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    • Music and books are my refuge. It sounds like you should read the best books first. but if you live as long as my father, you’ve got tons of time left. Thanks for reaching out. Sometimes I wonder who reads this stuff.

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  6. Awesome, Jeff! I’m excited for you. Writing novels are quite rewarding, when you finish them 😆 With that being said, I’m also back in the groove of writing my book as well. It HAS been hard given the topic, but it has also been healing getting these things out.

    Please keep us updated when you can about your progress and any insights you have while writing, if possible. ❤️

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  8. I wonder if you are already using a Graham Greene type approach of getting to know the characters so well that they help with the creation of the story and that the writing of it will feel like recalling memories. No matter, I hope you enjoy the writing discipline and flesh out Half until it’s full.
    Be well and do good, Jeff.
    Kind regards,
    DD
    PS Thanks for your posts, Jeff.
    I’ve enjoyed the journey you’ve taken us on this far.

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  14. I wish you the best with your novel. From what I know about you from reading your blog, I am confident you have the discipline to see this through. And I’m sure lots of ideas for the book will come to when you are out for a run.

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  15. Best of luck in the writing pool. I highly recommend the mental activity. But, running when you can’t get the plot to plot or the characters to behave, that’s okay too. The world can always use another novel!

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  16. This is seriously exciting news, Jeff. I admire the fact that you’re going for it. That takes courage and determination as well as talent, and you possess all three in abundance. Wishing you the very best with this endeavor, and I hope you’ll still post here occasionally. I’ve always thought you represent the best of what makes our WordPress community such a wonderful, inclusive and creative space. Best of luck! 😊

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    • Thank you for all of that Mike. TBD on how much I’ll blog. Part of me hope almost none at all because that means I’m writing my story. Part of me wants to hang onto my WordPress relationships. I really like the community. It’s a lot to give up.

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    • Thanks DD. In truth, I haven’t really started my new life yet. I’m working more than ever right now and I’m not happy about it. The bits Ive written on my story are going well though. I hope you and Zsor Zsor are doing well.

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