Who broke the story? I can’t figure that out, but all the major players reported it: People, USA Today, E! Online, even the New York Post. I read about it first on Newser. Read Less, Know More: that’s their tag line—and everyone’s goal. “Loch Ness Centre Reports 'Captivating' Sighting.” This sighting is the first of … Continue reading Nessie: The Truth Revealed
Humor
Not So Dumb
Image created by and used with permission from Dumb Runner. Jeff Cann: In today’s post, Mark Remy, the creator of the growing internet and print media sensation, Dumb Runner, answers my questions. Mark, in your own words, which are likely to be more entertaining than mine, what is Dumb Runner? Mark Remy: When I launched … Continue reading Not So Dumb
Clown!
I opened Facebook Messenger to this message: You look like a Pedophile. This was the final straw, and fortunately the final message during a hectic twenty-four hours selling my car. Three years ago, when our daughter Sophie moved off the University of Vermont campus, Susan and I realized she needed a car to do those … Continue reading Clown!
Adventures in Plumbing
I saw a meme on Facebook the other day: Plumber Rates$150/hour$175/hour if you watch$200/hour if you help$250/hour if you started the job first This was surely one of those creepy cases where my phone eavesdropped on a conversation and tailored content to match my interests. Susan and I talked about plumbers last weekend. Frustrated, with … Continue reading Adventures in Plumbing
Emotive Man
Against the gritty backdrop of Gotham, where evildoers lurk in shadowy alleyways and crime never takes a day off, one caped figure stands slouched, hunched with terrible posture on the tallest rooftops, watching over the city and its populace, feeling all the feels and swallowing all its pain: It’s Emotive Man. Part 1 – The … Continue reading Emotive Man
Medium Well
“Joan of Arc is alive and medium well.” My brother read this sentence out of a joke book. I was seven or eight years old. I stared at him blankly. “Funny, right?” “I don’t get it.” Exasperated: “Joan of Arc was a medium. They burned her at the stake. Get it? Cooked? Medium well?” “What’s … Continue reading Medium Well
A Town Called Malice
I pull open the heavy glass door releasing a cacophony of voices and blaring music. None of this is right. Antica Napoli, my favorite pizza shop is a store-front joint with eight booths. It’s calm and quiet. Typically two, maybe three booths host a couple of people, usually senior citizens. One booth is set up … Continue reading A Town Called Malice
A Losing Combination
Under the knife… again, tomorrow, the culmination of a year-long wait. “Let’s see if it improves,” they said, but it never did. “It’s just a mild case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome,” the neurologist dismissed me by turning his back, making this comment already halfway out the door. An affliction of real estate underwriters and insurance … Continue reading A Losing Combination
Mall Life
Go ahead, search the tag #vanlife. Think Gabby Petito, or any one of thousands of men and women, young to old, touring the parks, seeing the sights, living in their van. Think bloggers, YouTubers and Instagramers telling their story, influencing wishful thinkers and wannabes, selling a nomadic lifestyle and maybe a t-shirt. Think of me … Continue reading Mall Life
My New Plan
Let’s talk about my diet. Not the foods I eat, but the weight I want to lose. When I quit working at the Y five years ago, I sat at an appropriate weight. Maybe pushing the upper healthy range on the American Body Mass Index scale, but, just like people always say, it was all … Continue reading My New Plan
iShower
I took a shower!!! Confetti-cannons fire. Balloons drop from the ceiling. Strobe lights flash and sirens scream. The crowd erupts in cheers and applause. Conversation: Nephew: I shower twice a day. In the morning and after I work out.Me: You Americans shower too often. I used to be an American. I started each day with … Continue reading iShower
Average, Ordinary, Run of the Mill
In my favorite scene from the movie American Beauty, Mena Suvari, representative of a typical high school cheerleader—blonde and thin—spars with Wes Bentley’s character Ricky Fitts. Suvari’s character compares herself to Fitts’ girlfriend Jane: Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly! Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it. … Continue reading Average, Ordinary, Run of the Mill
Don’t be a Karen
Maybe you’ve seen the meme. A photo shows a peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut poorly on the diagonal. The left ‘half’ is about sixty percent larger than the right. The caption: Serve this to your OCD friend. It’s not really funny at all. There’s nothing clever about it. It breaks no new ground. It’s … Continue reading Don’t be a Karen
A Parade of Names
Congrats! The Other Stuff is getting noticed. herekittykitty and 3,898 others have started receiving updates. Yay, a new follower. A parade of names, thousands of them. Are any of them real? They arrive, a steady drip, three, four, seven a day. Names lacking an account, just a string of letters—sometimes numbers—linked to nothing, maybe there's … Continue reading A Parade of Names
What’s a Bit?
-- 2016 -- Aliens invented time. I’m not talking about the passage of time: the counting of days and years, of aging and decay. What aliens invented is the way we humans “tell” time. The generic concept of time seems to be attributed to God, even though the Bible makes no reference to the day … Continue reading What’s a Bit?
¿ Dinner ?
I’m traveling up the coast. I found a pizza place online and ordered my dinner over the phone: Me: I'd like to order a Stromboli roll. Guy: Just One? Me: Oh, I don't know, how big are they? Are they much food? Guy: Well, how many do you want. Me: I don't know, is one … Continue reading ¿ Dinner ?
WTF, Neil?
Caution #1: This post contains *salty* language. Caution #2: Old, privileged, white guy whining about his ridiculous first-world non-problem. Aargh!! Neil Young has pulled his music catalog off of Spotify. There are two types of people in this world. Those who could not possibly care less about this, and the rest of us—that’s 6,128,499 people … Continue reading WTF, Neil?
My Fix
I bought M&Ms at lunch today—Peanut M&Ms, my long-time favorite… at least until a couple of years ago. Like all familiar products from my childhood, Mars added options, lots of options. I think the idea is to flood shelf space with M&Ms and leave less room for Reese’s Pieces. Let me introduce you to the … Continue reading My Fix
Meat Adds Flavor!
Gettysburg is known for three things: Ghost tours, ice cream and pizza. If you abolish those three business categories, the storefronts are empty. There’s nothing left. No place for the tourists to go. Tourists? Oh right, I guess Gettysburg is also known for its civil war battle. I live in the sort of town where … Continue reading Meat Adds Flavor!
Quarantine
Crap. Now I have it too. For five weeks, I’ve obsessed over the coronavirus. With my browser open to CNN’s COVID-19 Live Updates, every time they posted any new tidbit of information, I got an alert. I watched the charts and stats and calculated death rates, growth rates and recovery rates. I watched a slow-motion … Continue reading Quarantine
The Other Stuff 