Messy

My public self: confident, controlled, together. And then I blog: vulnerable, messy, confused. Tourette Syndrome. The tics I suppress with medications, mostly: Thigh-punching. Eye-rolling. Body-scratching. Tooth-scraping. Grunting. Pay attention, you see them, hear them. I lack repose. Always moving, twitching. My brain in motion, fueled by anxiety. By obsession. By worry. Those conditions that accompany … Continue reading Messy

Careen

Six-year-old me at the top of a hill. Straddling my bike, everything normal except the absence of a chain. “This will be great,” they said. “Without breaks, you’ll go faster.” 1969, a blue Schwinn with a white seat, a twenty-inch job. Still too big for teeny, tiny me. The ubiquitous stingray design that dominated the … Continue reading Careen

A new me

The drinker who doesn’t drink. That’s me. I quit eighteen months ago. No backsliding, no cheating. Once I got through the first few months, it hasn’t really been that bad. I have Tourettes Syndrome. But you’d never know it. My tics are fully in control. Effectively medicated with no obvious side-effects. As an added bonus, … Continue reading A new me

Porch

Stuff. I don’t really have much. I rarely buy things. I’m thrifty, cheap. And I obsess. It’s too stressful to buy something new. New stuff needs to be perfect. I’d rather use an old, broken one than risk disappointment from the new one. My hobbies: Running and writing. So yes, I have a laptop and … Continue reading Porch