2/23/23: The meeting ends but no one moves. Well, they stand up, but no one heads for the door. The chatter starts. Through my hearing aids, it’s a din, a collage of noise, indecipherable. No one approaches me. I engage no one. I arrange and stack my papers. I glance at my phone. I contemplate killing time, delaying my departure, trying to appear connected to the action, to the group. Instead, I walk out the door alone. My office across the hall lets me monitor when people leave the meeting. No one leaves the meeting. I look busy. I boot my computer. I copy meeting notes to my to-do list. I text my family: Shortest board meeting ever! Did someone just walk past? What are they all doing in there? I worry that the meeting didn’t end. Maybe they just called for a break instead. I’m off-balance as always.
Photo by Ave Calvar on Unsplash
The Other Stuff 
Interesting? Did you solve the mystery?
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No mystery. Everyone (else) has formed friendships.
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Ah, I see.
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I see this through two lenses. Lucky you, like road runner, get outta there and back to your work and your life, both of which are beautifully full. And I see you want what we all want, community and inclusion. As a person whose sober I connect to this with regard to social events. I want to be invited, but I don’t want to go.
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Yeah, I’d say you nailed this exactly.
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Introverts and “weirdos”… we DO want to be Invited (accepted), but mostly, in my case, I don’t really wanna join. My family and my WP peeps and my long distance friends are enough for me.
On a side note… hearing aids don’t help with multiple sources of sound? My hearing is getting worse and I probably need to get at least one hearing aid for the damaged side. My eyes getting worse makes my hearing loss even worse. I learned to lip read in 2nd grade, so if I can’t see the mouth…
I wonder sometimes if anyone even notices how clueless I am sometimes, or if they’re caught up in their own stuff 🤔
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No, “restaurant” noise and hearing aids don’t mix at all. Although by pushing buttons you can ‘aim’ the direction you hear from so it helps if someone is in front of you. From a professional point of view, it would be helpful if I could easily blend into after meeting conversations. I just can’t. A couple of coworkers understand this and make it a point to do the one on one thing with me (which is really nice).
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Any more than a single voice at a time has always been a babble to me. I did have a 70 – 80% hearing loss as a child and definitely my hearing has deteriorated over the last decade. Hearing aids have helped but not when it comes to voices. That difficulty is due to auditory processing rather than the actual ability to hear.
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I often question how much of my isolationist tendencies are due to hearing loss v. brain injury. Not being able to hear clearly has to greatly amplify (haha) the symptoms of auditory processing disorder.
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I feel for you in this situation, Jeff, not because I have any loss of hearing or auditory processing disorder but because I’ve been in the same position in meetings or social events, which I used to avoid like the plague if I could. I was never included in the chit-chat or conversation, and afterwards, I would usually sneak out the door quietly, not that anyone noticed, which was fine by me, but then, on the other hand, I didn’t want to be ignored either. It must be much more frustrating for you as you have to wear hearing aids, and I remember my Mum’s problems with hers, especially in noisy places like restaurants.
I agree with King Ben’s Grandma (above) in that I want to be included, but when I am, I’m not so sure I want to be there. It’s tough being an introvert – I find it so anyway. It must be especially tough for you at these times. I guess I’m lucky because I don’t have to go to meetings anymore, whereas you don’t have a choice.
I also think that we bloggers/writers have an advantage in that we can communicate with others through our written words; no sound is usually necessary; conversations and communications are made between bloggers or writers, with the only sound being that of our individual click-clacking keyboards. That suits me just fine.
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My hearing aids are a disadvantage, yes, but the real problem is my discomfort in social settings. I’m always astounded by others’ ability to launch into a conversation. My ability to forge friendships in writing through wordpress is a godsend. I think I’d feel pretty isolated without that.
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I totally get that, Jeff. I’m not great at mixing with people unless I know them really well. However, as you say, some of my loveliest friends are from WordPress, too. My WP friends know more about me than my day-to-day friends, and for that, I’m very grateful.
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