Dear Boss, We’ve been working together for five months. I just passed another anniversary. What do you know about me so far? I’ve learned a lot since I started at the agency. Not about accounting; that aspect of the job is more of the same; I’ve been doing this for decades. Not about my coworkers, … Continue reading Dear Boss,
Tourettes
Disease
Disease. I’ve been using this word frequently. Not out loud, but in my head. And always pertaining to myself. Disease: not meaning ill, tainted or disordered. But literally the opposite—the reverse of—ease. Pronounce it dis-ease. [Dis: a Latin prefix meaning “apart,” “asunder,” “away” or having a negative, or reversing force—used freely, especially with these latter … Continue reading Disease
R.E.M.
Stephen King is my favorite author. This is less of a declaration than a confession; he’s not that great a writer. His stories are usually long, unedited monsters that draw in unnecessary subplots, and drone on and on with overly expansive writing. As a master of imaginative stories, he expects no imagination from his readers. … Continue reading R.E.M.
Jenn, Lance & Me
6/20/2015 Jenn Shelton keeps popping up in my life. You might be thinking "Who's Jenn Shelton?" She's a minor celebrity. A world-class ultra-marathon runner and a pretty good writer. She had a bit part in Christopher McDougall's massively bestselling Born to Run. Mostly as comic relief. The book made it seem like when she wasn't … Continue reading Jenn, Lance & Me
“O” Brother
I didn’t know whether to call this post “O” Brother or “O” Well. The “O” is the important part of the title. It’s the O in OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I’ve got that one. And not the cute kind as seen on TV. Not the neatnik variety from shows like Monk. My OCD, when active, … Continue reading “O” Brother
Renewal
Every so often, I’ll read a post that’s eerily similar to one I recently published. Too similar. They clearly—I think—stole the idea from me. And I say “Heeeyy, uncool. At least give me a shout-out!” I’m stepping into that realm today, and I don’t want to be accused of plagiarism, idea theft, unoriginality. Yesterday morning, … Continue reading Renewal
“Susan”
Quinn calls her fiancé “Scrubs.” Marie Christine calls her husband “Not Tom Brady.” The Boeskool calls his wife “my wife.” A runner/blogger I sometimes read named Sam calls his wife “Mrs. Sam.” In my blog, I call my wife “Susan,” which may or may not be her real name. My favorite author is the wildly … Continue reading “Susan”
Messy
My public self: confident, controlled, together. And then I blog: vulnerable, messy, confused. Tourette Syndrome. The tics I suppress with medications, mostly: Thigh-punching. Eye-rolling. Body-scratching. Tooth-scraping. Grunting. Pay attention, you see them, hear them. I lack repose. Always moving, twitching. My brain in motion, fueled by anxiety. By obsession. By worry. Those conditions that accompany … Continue reading Messy
A most unusual resignation letter
Today I quit my job. Well, I haven’t told anyone yet, so: Today I decided to quit my job. And it isn’t my real job, not the one that supports my family. It’s my hobby-job. My fun job. My job as a spin instructor. The joy is gone. Tonight was the second week in a … Continue reading A most unusual resignation letter
Gratitude
“Don’t let your attitude affect your gratitude!” That’s me talking. “Dad! Shut up! You sound like a stupid kids’ TV show.” This is Eli, he’s eleven. Is he allowed to tell me to shut up? I guess so—when I’m being obnoxious. I’ve been saying the attitude/gratitude thing over and over. I say it like this: … Continue reading Gratitude
An itch I gotta scratch
My workplace is large. It’s a community center: a weight room, basketball courts, aerobics rooms, swimming pool, child care center, coffee shop. Tying it all together is a long, straight hallway—a hallway I travel several times a day. Gazing down the hall, I can be seen walking with purpose… on my way to get things … Continue reading An itch I gotta scratch
Live each day without judgement
I’m goal oriented—meaning I aim towards setting goals. And then I nail them. Find the right medication for Tourettes, run a 50K, score a new job; these are a few from the past year, all complete. The year before that had a few as well: publish a book and quit drinking are a couple of … Continue reading Live each day without judgement
A new me
The drinker who doesn’t drink. That’s me. I quit eighteen months ago. No backsliding, no cheating. Once I got through the first few months, it hasn’t really been that bad. I have Tourettes Syndrome. But you’d never know it. My tics are fully in control. Effectively medicated with no obvious side-effects. As an added bonus, … Continue reading A new me
“Hey, I should warn you, Charlene has googly eyes.” “What does that mean?” They pop way out, like on a frog… or a bug.” “Um, thanks for the warning.” At the start of my career, I worked for a Fortune 500 defense contractor called TRW. One company, 30,000 employees. In an effort to maintain a … Continue reading Google
Below the Surface
Hey Jeff, I didn’t realize there was an exclusivity of using the tag “tourettes”. This is news to me. I won’t be taking up your kind offer to read your post. But thanks! I’ve had only one snarky encounter in WordPress. It was a fight that I picked. That was the response. Like many WordPress … Continue reading Below the Surface
Drugs
Monday morning at 7:00AM: I’m sitting down to write. I’ve read the news, stretched my body, done my part in getting my kids on their school bus, and made myself presentable for work. It’s been a productive morning. Over the weekend, I seamlessly traded off between chores, exercise, reading, errands, volunteer work and spending time … Continue reading Drugs
Caffeinated
7:15 on Tuesday morning. Not a specific Tuesday morning, but any Tuesday morning. My laptop’s on my lap, and my coffee is next to me on a coaster. Printed on that coaster is “Hold me closer, Tony Danza.” It’s a gift from a friend who enjoyed my essay “Dewey Finn and the Dunder Chief” in … Continue reading Caffeinated
The Placebo Effect
If I were to rate my days (and that’s exactly the sort of thing I would do) yesterday was a nine. Not a ten because I was at work, and I didn’t go running, but I’ll take my nine. For the past three months, I’ve been scoring fives… or less. Less: After a string of … Continue reading The Placebo Effect
Mr. Marks’ Christmas Dose
“Christmas? No, we’re not open on Christmas.” Adam turned away from the counter, trying to look distracted by a display of button batteries. “Well, I don’t like that at all. What if I miscalculate my pill supply? What if I drop them in the toilet? I did that once.” Mr. Marks unloaded his basket—One-A-Day vitamins, … Continue reading Mr. Marks’ Christmas Dose
Death and the Blogger
It might be over—my three year run. My alter-ego as a blogger, a writer. Three years: daily, I opened my laptop and pounded out my thoughts—stream of consciousness—into small stories extracted from my life. Stories of triumph or regret. Running, mental health, parenting and alcoholism. Bitching, left wing commentary and pointless, over-thought drivel. Artistic and … Continue reading Death and the Blogger
The Other Stuff 