Throwback Thursday: my first blog post, ever. September 30, 2013. Lather was thirty years old today. They took away all of his toys. His mother sent newspaper clippings to him, about his old friends who’d stopped being boys. How appropriate that this Jefferson Airplane lyric has been stuck in my head for the past few … Continue reading Lather
The Man in the Woods
There isn’t a sign. No balloons on a mailbox. No bright marker to let you know you’ve arrived. There’s no handicapped parking. No health department permit, no indication that you’ve even paid sales tax. Nestled on the edge of the Appalachian Mountains, in the midst of the apple orchards and packing plants where much of … Continue reading The Man in the Woods
Cry
A couple of days ago, I picked up a follower with a clever name. Alliterative, self-deprecating, suggesting an outsider’s perspective on the world. Her picture looked like the sort of person I’d relate to. Yes, this is a lot to pick up from a username and avatar. So, I checked out her blog. I’m not … Continue reading Cry
Angry, Old and Middle-Class
AwkWARD
I was awarded this week. Twice! I’m sure you know about these awards. They are the blogging version of a chain letter. You get nominated by a blogger, you give a shout-out to said blogger, you answer a few questions, and you then nominate sixty-seven others for the same award. And if you do the … Continue reading AwkWARD
BT
Brian Transeau grew up next door to me. Who’s Brian Transeau? Right. I wouldn’t know that either if he didn’t live next door. From his Wikipedia page: Better known by his stage name BT, Transeau is an American music producer, composer, technologist, audio technician, multi-instrumentalist, singer, and songwriter. He was a pioneer in the formation … Continue reading BT
Shaving Cream
Forty-year-old song lyrics I can recite from memory: I have a sad story to tell you, It may hurt your feelings a bit Last night when I walked into my bathroom I stepped in a big pile of Shhhh-aving cream, be nice and clean, Shave every day and you'll always look keen! If you remember the … Continue reading Shaving Cream
A most unusual resignation letter
Today I quit my job. Well, I haven’t told anyone yet, so: Today I decided to quit my job. And it isn’t my real job, not the one that supports my family. It’s my hobby-job. My fun job. My job as a spin instructor. The joy is gone. Tonight was the second week in a … Continue reading A most unusual resignation letter
Kid Food
Jiffy Pop, Jiffy Pop the magic treat — as much fun to make as it is to eat. I’ve known this jingle my entire life. Jiffy Pop was invented in 1959, three years before I was born. As a kid, I loved to make my own food. It was a rush that I could make … Continue reading Kid Food
Careen
Six-year-old me at the top of a hill. Straddling my bike, everything normal except the absence of a chain. “This will be great,” they said. “Without breaks, you’ll go faster.” 1969, a blue Schwinn with a white seat, a twenty-inch job. Still too big for teeny, tiny me. The ubiquitous stingray design that dominated the … Continue reading Careen
The Shimmering Image
I’ve taken two writing courses in my life. One class—Creative Nonfiction, I enrolled in it as I first embarked on my writing hobby—was phenomenal. Useful, educational, fun. I walked away with a two-thousand-word essay that makes me proud to this very day. The second class, taken on the heels of the first, gave me nothing. … Continue reading The Shimmering Image
Casual
Casual. What a prompt. I could write a book. Attire has been front and center in my thoughts for three weeks. That’s when I started a new job. In fact, I’ve already written about this. Maybe I should just re-post my recent essay Adult. For twenty years, my life has been a study in clothes. Comfortable … Continue reading Casual
Moon Phases
I’m not an astronomer, an astrophysicist, or any other type of spacey science professional that offers me any credibility or credentialed knowledge on this topic. I studied business administration in college. Through my interests and my work, I know a lot about finance, fitness, child care and marketing. Not space. Not astronomy. But I happen … Continue reading Moon Phases
Pest
The clock inches slowly closer to 8:00 AM. Her starting time. 7:05. 7:15. 7:30. I return for the fourth time to wake Sophie up. To get her out of bed. God knows what time she went to sleep. It could have been 10:00, it could have been 2:00. I was out by 9:30. But work … Continue reading Pest
Adult
“I have a personal question.” This is Crystal, my coworker—actually, she works for me. Her voice is barely above a whisper. She’s treading on dangerous ground. This is the first conversation we’ve had. “Why is there a bird on your truck?” A couple of years ago, I drilled a pair of holes into my truck-bed … Continue reading Adult
Solo
Working together. Complimenting one another. Picking up the job where another leaves off. This isn’t me. I go it alone. I do it all myself. I’m solitary. Solo. That’s easier to manage. I’m never let down. When I first met my step-sister she was in high school. It was a get-together at my father’s new … Continue reading Solo
I miss…
Intellectual bathroom graffiti: I F*@KED YOUR MOTHER! Directly beneath this gem, in a different pen, a different hand: GO HOME DAD, YOU”RE DRUNK! I’d like to stop right there. A flash-post. Call it done. Flash what? Not fiction. This one is real. On the bathroom wall of the Tune Inn, circa 1986. Every time I … Continue reading I miss…
Something to chew
From my Gratitude Journal. 7/20: Bitter, grainy. The aroma, when carefully considered, contains a whisper of something foul—a woodsy rot, perhaps a hint of cat pee. Regardless, each sip, like a bite of a decadent dessert. It fills my mouth and warms my body. Almost something to chew. My coffee is brewed in a stove-top … Continue reading Something to chew
Gratitude
“Don’t let your attitude affect your gratitude!” That’s me talking. “Dad! Shut up! You sound like a stupid kids’ TV show.” This is Eli, he’s eleven. Is he allowed to tell me to shut up? I guess so—when I’m being obnoxious. I’ve been saying the attitude/gratitude thing over and over. I say it like this: … Continue reading Gratitude
Great Expectations
Yes, I know that title’s already been used. ~ ~ ~ ~ “Hundreds of new followers? Isn’t that a good thing?” This was my daughter Sophie. I just told her about having my post featured in WordPress’s Discover. This happened on Sunday morning at 9:00. Seven hours later, Sophie was just getting home. She slept … Continue reading Great Expectations